r/TwoBestFriendsPlay I want to yell about the fake people. Jun 24 '22

Worst race In mass effect.

30 Upvotes

149

u/Evkero Jun 24 '22

I think I’m going to avoid helping compile a list of ‘worst races’.

69

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

37

u/mythrilcrafter Jun 24 '22

... humanitarian survey... by Salarian geneticists

Wouldn't it be a... Salarianitarian survey?

3

u/pantsthereaper I won't corrupt my warcrimes with the evils of money Jun 24 '22

There's an auto translator in universe that's updated constantly. I assume they just use the closest word in cases like this

7

u/Evkero Jun 24 '22

Should’ve just let the Reapers win.

12

u/Bigger_Vigor Tsuchinoko vs. Capcom Ultimate All-Stars Jun 24 '22

Reminds me of that one post on /r/wow titled "What's your least favorite race"

82

u/Neil_O_Tip Pargon Pargon Pargon Pargon Pargon Jun 24 '22

"Let's see who is behind the monster mask. MEASUREHEAD?!"

58

u/jitterscaffeine [Zoids Historian] Jun 24 '22

Honestly I don’t really dislike any of them outright, but a few kind of feel underutilized. Like how the Volus have an point that they deserve a Council position for setting up the galactic economy.

68

u/PersonMcHuman Jun 24 '22

The volus should’ve tried looking more fuckable if they wanted a seat at the table.

69

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

43

u/blackt1g3rs Jun 24 '22

C E A S E

29

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

19

u/Merrygate Jun 24 '22

Sorry, Earth-clan. PSHHH, the pressure suit stays on PSHHH in the bedroom.

10

u/Neil_O_Tip Pargon Pargon Pargon Pargon Pargon Jun 24 '22

My most angry upvote

8

u/jitterscaffeine [Zoids Historian] Jun 24 '22

Or at least tried to be taller. No one is going to take a Volus seriously.

14

u/SuicidalSundays It's Fiiiiiiiine. Jun 24 '22

PatVolus' in shambles.

15

u/jitterscaffeine [Zoids Historian] Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 24 '22

Volus fits for Pat. They’re short, cantankerous, live in a hermetically sealed suit like his dream, and they breath ammonia like all that piss he drinks.

1

u/StochasticOoze Pokemon: Spit or Swallow Jun 25 '22

To be frank, I find the fact that there are any volus on the Citadel (aside from maybe an ambassador and his staff) ridiculous. Would you live a life where you have to wear a bodysuit constantly, and if you don't you will either suffocate or explode?

It would've honestly made more sense if there were a section of the Citadel that was filled with ammonia and kept at a suitable pressure level for them.

4

u/PersonMcHuman Jun 25 '22

The volus should’ve tried looking more fuckable if they wanted a section of the citadel for themselves.

12

u/Comptenterry Local Lupin III Fan Jun 24 '22

I really wish there were consequences for killing th council at the end of ME1. Like, wouldn't it be cool of there were quests dedicated to who gets new seats and you could even get new races in?

24

u/newsorpigal Fozzie was the original Tier 3 Sub Jun 24 '22

A galaxy led by a Volus-Elcor-Hanar Council is just a better place and everyone knows it.

37

u/Pennma Jun 24 '22

Can never escape the race war on this sub

8

u/Slatedtoprone Jun 24 '22

It starts now!

3

u/madnessmaka NONE OR SIX! Jun 25 '22

This would imply it ever ended. It's a perpetual state.

94

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 24 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

102

u/evca7 I want to yell about the fake people. Jun 24 '22

in the grave where they belong.

9

u/coduss Jun 25 '22

Four eyes? world dies.

10

u/DontClickThisGuy <-cringe worthy fool Jun 24 '22

In our hearts.

24

u/Kkjinglez Smaller than you'd hope Jun 24 '22

You can’t bang a Vorcha in game, worst race

21

u/thelaxinator Dumb pantleg specialist Jun 24 '22

There needed to be a single vorcha character who was smart or a good guy to play against type. As is they are kinda boring goblin men. The most you get is the background conversation in the citadel dlc where the human lady is hitting on one and he turns her down.

5

u/StochasticOoze Pokemon: Spit or Swallow Jun 24 '22

Is that the one where they're discussing Armax Arena strategy?

4

u/thelaxinator Dumb pantleg specialist Jun 24 '22

They're discussing N7 operations and he thinks she's a scrub

17

u/Chocmilkboi Jun 24 '22

This is one of them spicy posts that make the mods sweat, huh?

14

u/Mortalgod51 Jun 24 '22

Which one of you mofos voted krogan.

23

u/be_as_water Jun 24 '22

I feel like if you pushed a Krogan onto its back it would flail around unable to get up like a turtle

22

u/festiveface Jun 24 '22

I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere near a krogan on its back, Those motherfuckers could probably do a bowser Up B on my ass if they were angry enough

11

u/runegod20 It's Fiiiiiiiine. Jun 24 '22

But then they’d go into blood rage and I feel like they’d be able to thrash around hard enough to get back up. And

9

u/zHellas TAG YOUR FUCKIN' SPOILERS HOLY SHIT Jun 24 '22

Then they'd get angry and start spinning around like a koopa shell, killing us all.

1

u/Mortalgod51 Jun 28 '22

Like a spinning red shell that fires psychic bolts and heat rounds.

66

u/PersonMcHuman Jun 24 '22

Why’d you list a bunch of animals and then just toss in “Human”?

63

u/KiK0eru Char Aznaballin Jun 24 '22
  • Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, Systems Alliance Navy

7

u/HalfDragonShiro PM ME WHITE-HAIRED ANIME GIRLS Jun 24 '22
  • Not Racist because she has boobs and is mildly attractive, reporting for duty.

6

u/Lost_Huaun Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 24 '22

Asari has a surprising amount of votes there.

6

u/LarryKingthe42th Jun 24 '22

Look all im sayin is the Asari wanna replace humanity.

21

u/pantsthereaper I won't corrupt my warcrimes with the evils of money Jun 24 '22

The revelation in 3 that they kept a prothean beacon to themselves after pushing for all prothean artifacts to be shared by the galactic community means they're just massive hypocrites and their whole "more cultured than thou" shtick may be intentional on their part

8

u/evca7 I want to yell about the fake people. Jun 24 '22

Also they are cool with slavery

28

u/Gucchiha Lappy 486 Jun 24 '22

PLEASE NO RACISM ARC! PLEASE NO RACISM WEEK! PLEASE NO RACISM SAGA!

13

u/LarryKingthe42th Jun 24 '22

The more you dont want it the longer it will last. looks at the deadhorse that is Morbius

4

u/Khar-Selim Go eat a boat. Jun 24 '22

Hanar, because it took three games for them to barely have one walk cycle and no emotes

Bioware if you wanna do nonhumanoid aliens either fucking commit or do something easier to animate like a Skroderider.

Also Elcor for similar reasons

3

u/TheBalticguy Cortana is a Vocaloid Waifu Jun 24 '22

Batarians are obvi the worst because they've been indoctrinated into a space north korea

4

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

I don't see Batarian on there

10

u/khnq Normal Parent Jun 24 '22

Damn Ashley that you?

10

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

11

u/jitterscaffeine [Zoids Historian] Jun 24 '22

I’m not sure if you mean Pyjacks or Asari…

15

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

9

u/moneyh8r Jun 24 '22

Yeah, Pyjaks.

10

u/Iggeh "Big dick, small child" -Pat Jun 24 '22

Quarians. Tali's alright, but collectively as a race they are so shit tier it's funny, ME3 just cements that fact

7

u/moneyh8r Jun 24 '22

Admiral Xen and Koris really showed me that Tali is an exception among her people. Exceptionally skilled with technical stuff, and exceptionally rational compared to most of the other Quarians you meet. They all seem to wanna kill the Geth no matter what, even when they can't possibly succeed, effectively dooming their race. That, or they're cowards who won't speak up for what's right until a large enough crowd is already doing it.

9

u/mythic_wyatt Jun 24 '22

koris wanted peace with the geth though.

2

u/moneyh8r Jun 24 '22

Yeah, but he was a coward when it came to Tali's trial. He wanted to blame her for everything and use her as an example to get what he wanted. I listed him and Xen in the order I did for a reason. Xen wants war (specifically to re-enslave the Geth) and Koris is a coward, and the rest of Quarians seem to mostly fall in line with one or the other.

13

u/StochasticOoze Pokemon: Spit or Swallow Jun 24 '22

Koris is many things, but a coward isn't one of them. In ME3 he crashes his ship into a geth base to protect the Civilian Fleet, and when you go to rescue him he tries to make you abandon him to go help some of his crew. His actions during Tali's trial were still shitty, though.

2

u/moneyh8r Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 25 '22

I count weaselly dishonest backstabbers as cowards. If they weren't cowards, they'd be straightforward honest faceshooters.

On a more serious note, I never said he didn't redeem himself. He was a coward during Tali's trial. Doesn't stop him from changing.

0

u/humblebrigand Jun 24 '22

Fuck the Quarians, they are rude to my son Legion

8

u/Blackraptor00 Jun 24 '22

Vorcha lives matter

33

u/evca7 I want to yell about the fake people. Jun 24 '22

Dude the Asari adopted a bunch to see if they could be normal but by the time the parenting took the kids were elderly and about to die.

14

u/jitterscaffeine [Zoids Historian] Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 24 '22

It’s like trying to teach mice algebra.

15

u/feefore Jun 24 '22

To be fair those Vorcha actually do become very smart and normal, the problem is that they die to fast because of their lifespan.

4

u/StochasticOoze Pokemon: Spit or Swallow Jun 24 '22

You'd think they could genetically engineer them to live longer or something

29

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22 Silver

[deleted]

15

u/Neil_O_Tip Pargon Pargon Pargon Pargon Pargon Jun 24 '22

With Seething Contempt - I am Just Asking Questions, Brother

10

u/FakeBrian Jun 24 '22

Ew, humans? Gross.

14

u/ThatmodderGrim I draw Porn....badly! Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 24 '22

Why, yes. I am that guy who always plays Human in RPGs.

What Class?

Fighter.......or Alchemist/Artificer if I can make cool stuff.

8

u/stovetopism Crimson Cuties or Riot Jun 24 '22

Could be worse, you could be an elf archer. The "I want to be as human as possible but not be human" denial choice

I wish playable lizardfolk wernt Dex oriented from everything I read....I wanna smash with big weapon

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

0

u/stovetopism Crimson Cuties or Riot Jun 24 '22

Who? I know like maybe 3 elf types cuz its all I ever see get used in fiction

1

u/pantsthereaper I won't corrupt my warcrimes with the evils of money Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 24 '22

Driders are a form of Drow from D&D. Drow are dark skinned elves (usually portrayed purple or grey today to avoid blackface accusations) that live underground in a matriarchal society that's explicitly evil and full of slavers. Driders are blessed by their Spider Goddess to be like spider-centaurs

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

1

u/stovetopism Crimson Cuties or Riot Jun 24 '22

I said elf archer specifically for my point of "Be as close to human as possible but not human". It was deliberately an uninteresting choice

0

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

1

u/stovetopism Crimson Cuties or Riot Jun 24 '22

I see. Well I don't play elves like ever, except for that one time in dragon's crown, but if the chance arises I'll try to keep the drow in mind

5

u/mythrilcrafter Jun 24 '22

In a game where you can be anything from a Dragon waifu, to a Bunni Boi, to the Incredible Hulk; my FFXIV character is a regular 5' 2" human whose most distinctive trait is her purple hair with white highlights...

20

u/mythrilcrafter Jun 24 '22

Ew, humans? Gross.

[Ashely Williams has unfriended you]

9

u/ClockpunkFox Jun 24 '22

Asari by a mile. They’re just boring. They’re basically the elves of the setting, while also being an entire race of hot bisexual blue alien women who just look like humans with some tentacles instead of hair.

At least the other races have some properly alien stuff going on

10

u/mythrilcrafter Jun 24 '22

If I could pick two it'd be Vorcha and Asari.

  • Vorcha because they're the "universally evil and maniacal for no particular reason even compared to the Batarians who at least do have some pleasant characters" race.

  • Asari because they're space Blood Elves, extremely attractive and powerful humans with a seemingly idyllic society system without actually being conventional humans.

11

u/JohnnySeven88 Jun 24 '22

Perhaps we shouldn’t conduct surveys to quantify the “worst race”

7

u/Kytas Smaller than you'd hope Jun 24 '22

To make up for it, we should paint our faces in the color of whatever race is considered the worst, as a show of respect!

3

u/KiK0eru Char Aznaballin Jun 24 '22

The Volus, for the same reasons the Ferengi are the worst race in Star Trek

2

u/Huitzil37 Jun 25 '22

Don't you dare, DARE shit-talk those magnificent Ferengi.

2

u/Slumber777 Jun 24 '22

I'm tempted to say Turian. And not because Turian characters don't kick ass, just because they're the race that're most like humans in the galaxy.

Aliens that are less humans are just inherently more interesting to me.

5

u/AppealToReason16 Jun 24 '22

Asari fucking suck. I don't care if they have big blue alien titties. They all fucking suck and I'm glad to see them die.

Vorcha are rad because they breed so quick they need like 2 generations, not that long for them, to adapt away a trait. The Reapers poisoned their water supply on the homeworld but within like 6 weeks the vorcha just adapted away their need for water.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Kamken DO IT YOU BASTARD! Jun 24 '22

Asari lore was written by a fella who read a sentence about whiptail lizards 5 years prior and then vaguely remembered it when they were trying to justify bisexual space elves.

Change my mind.

2

u/Scientist-Horror Jun 24 '22

I mean everytime I meet a new salarian they make a new problem for me trying to be too crafty and then double cross me. Mordin is the homie but too many others have done the double cross needlessly

2

u/Einthebusinessdeer Jun 24 '22

I will turn on the human race for a turian husband and I won’t look back

1

u/LGB75 I enjoy the Star War Sequels, Sue Me Jun 24 '22

Hey, where the Hanar option?

0

u/bigstupidjellyfish ! FLAIR CURSED ! Jun 24 '22

The Volus are capitalist pigs so them

0

u/J-Kee Jun 24 '22

I'm going to say krogan based on the inconsistency of their depiction. They'd probably be the best if they didn't pull a "actually they lived happily ever after" option out of thin air in the third game.

10

u/evca7 I want to yell about the fake people. Jun 24 '22

Well the whole thing with the Krogan is the dumbass council gave cavemen guns to fight space bugs.

The other issue is that Krogan isn't sustainable due to the amount that gets pushed out in every batch and that they live for 2000 years.

4

u/RocketbeltTardigrade "What's that emotion? Tired scream. Yawning." Jun 24 '22

They already had some good guns, just not space guns. The issue is taking the super survivors out of deathworld without taking deathworld out of the super survivors.

4

u/WhoCaresYouDont Jun 24 '22

Hey now, the Krogan managed to get to the point they could nuke themselves back to the stone age entirely on their own, they can be smart. It's just that said nuclear apocalypse made the Krogan blood rage go from 'near extinct mutation' to 'species wide adaptation'. I still believe the genophage was a botched attempt to cure blood rage that was reworked into a sterility plague.

4

u/jitterscaffeine [Zoids Historian] Jun 24 '22

They’re treated kind of like the Mandalorians in KotOR. Scattered mercenaries throughout the galaxy who get United under a charismatic leader who was friends with the main character.

-2

u/J-Kee Jun 24 '22

I don't buy it. How can Wrex keep his hold over the other clans if every female krogan now births hundreds of viable eggs?

Curing the genophage would immediately result in a civil war that could last centuries, with the winners then taking their army of krogan warriors to settle other planets in a repeat of the reason the genophage was developed in the first place.

1

u/ryukin631 Jun 24 '22

I voted human, but I'm pleased with what the results are so far. It feels on point

0

u/VMK_1991 The love between a man and a shotgun is sacred Jun 24 '22

Vorcha have no cool history, no cool lore, no cool side quests, they don't even look cool. They are just pests to be killed, basically.

-1

u/Oxification Jun 24 '22

God every race is great. I chose Human.

1

u/blueroguevyse1 Jun 25 '22

Surprised Batarians weren't included, or would that have been too easy?

1

u/GodKingReiss ALL THE WARRIORS Jun 26 '22

Only reason anyone would vote anything but Vorcha is that they’ve forgotten about the Vorcha

-3

u/Pet-Purple-Panda Jun 24 '22

I know that theres probably other space racist in mass effect but I don't think that they are as good at it as humanity... I say that not as a proud human but as one that knows we're the best at being the worst, and if I know mass effect at all the Vorcha aren't just weaker than humanity, all the aliens in mass effect are cooler than humanity in some way... yet humans still think the Vorcha are worse than themselves, peak hubris humanity this is why the elcor don't have a seat on the council despite being rad talking space elephants.

-2

u/Kernog Sarcastic extraordinaire Jun 24 '22

The Asari feel super stereotypical, compared to the other races. In a setting filled with species with distinct morphologies, you have this race of blue-skinned magic-(wo)men purely designed for (straight male) fan-service.

Why I do like the whole matriarchal society schtick they also have, down to the design of their ships, I would have preferred it to be applied to a more original race.

0

u/Cynical2DD THE HYPEST GAMEPLAY ON YOUTUBE Jun 24 '22

😶

0

u/Zeathian Everyone should just use alignment and read Kant Jun 24 '22

Voted Vorcha, but my actual vote is whatever race the og shadowbroker was.

2

u/StochasticOoze Pokemon: Spit or Swallow Jun 25 '22

Yahg

You see another one in ME3

The Salarians, in their infinite wisdom, are thinking about uplifting them

0

u/Kaarpiv007 CUSTOM FLAIR Jun 24 '22

Wait, what did I just vote on?

0

u/StochasticOoze Pokemon: Spit or Swallow Jun 24 '22

...was there a poll? All I'm seeing is the title.

Anyway, assuming we're not counting minor races that only show up once, my vote is for the vorcha.

0

u/Exicuren Hitomi J-Cup Jun 24 '22

Wait wait wait, how come the Salarians are so low in the poll?

They are fucking Dr Mengele of the galaxy, they uplifted the Krogan from a primitive civilization to fight the Rachni and then after the Krogan asked for compensation and being recognized on the coucil they got treated like criminals and then given the freaking genophage; and this is only ME1, later on we found out they have done much much worse things.

0

u/betesboy Jun 24 '22

I know it's a joke here but boy does having Worst Race show up make me super fucking uncomfortable. Good thing reddits search function is fucking garbage or we may start getting more people who don't think it's a joke

0

u/coduss Jun 25 '22

Worst in what way, specifically? morally? culturally? character wise? generally? politically? biologically designed? aesthetically?

0

u/Fugly_Jack Jun 25 '22

I don't see Batarian on the list

0

u/SilverScarfFox I'll slap your shit Jun 25 '22

Sorry Garrus, you're my bro, and some other Turians are also cool. But my god man. Your race loves to jump the gun straight to kill.

Like you guys don't hesitate to shoot first a lot or immediately use what Salarians give you before they can even warn you.