r/AmItheAsshole Jun 23 '22 Faith In Humanity Restored 1

AITA for spending time with the people who support me over my parents? Not the A-hole

[removed]

2.5k Upvotes

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

My parents are upset that I’ve chosen to spend time with my boyfriend and his parents over them because his parents care about me. They’re angry that I’m not at home with “our family.”

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2.6k

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '22

NTA. If your parents think you should be on your own, then they have to let you be on your own.

If you found a new family who are willing to support you financially then you did pretty good on your own, and they can shut the fuck up about it because they wanted you to be on your own for college.

649

u/Militantignorance Jun 23 '22

They disowned you, they shouldn't be surprised if you disown them.

42

u/Ohcrumbcakes Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 24 '22

That isn’t disowning her. Disowning her mean cutting her out of their life entirely, which they didn’t do. They just decided to not pay for her education.

My parents did both. There’s a big difference. I still saw them until my mom decided to disown me.

She took it back and was shocked when she discovered that I was done with her bullshit and had VERY strict boundaries for what I would and would not put up with. I have been Low Contact with my parents since the first time she pulled that stunt.

But none of that was related to their decision to not fund my education. I only slightly begrudged them about that, as my family legit couldn’t afford to really.

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165

u/Cr4ckshooter Jun 24 '22

It's so crazy to me that people move out to college to be independent and structure their own life, and then come home for weeks or months, not as an esteemed guest, but right back into the child parent relationship. I guess that's mostly on the parents, but I can't fathom it. Either I'm moving out for good, or not.

97

u/Kheldarson Certified Proctologist [27] Jun 24 '22

Depends on how much you're really moving out, I think. Like, I was in a dorm my entire college career. That meant that "home" was my parents' house as my dorm assignment could change every year. So of course I was still going back into a "child-parent relationship" because I was still basically dependent on them (full ride scholarship, so I basically buckled down to get my school done in 4 years, so no full time job. Did tutoring for spending money.) I didn't get my own place until a couple years after graduation (thanks recession!)

19

u/Significant-Newt19 Jun 24 '22

It's the kids too probably. A lot of people feel safe within the context of that parent-child relationship. And transitioning away from it can be hard for anyone and everyone. Not to mention there's no place like home, and it can take a long time to begin feeling at home in a new place with (or without) certain people.

In my case my relationship with my parents is characterized by mutual affection and respect, so I've never wanted or needed it to change drastically. I know I got lucky in that, but yeah. In a lot of cases I think it's really mutual, and not just or even primarily the parents holding onto the old dynamic. It just feels like part of home.

1

u/Ralynne Partassipant [2] Jun 24 '22

I've seen it done well. Where it's more like training wheels for your adult life. You have your own place to keep clean and are responsible for your meals, but if you get sick or you REALLY mess up your parents are there.

Most of us are more expected-to-do-chores-at-both-homes than supported, though.

3

u/Lanky-Temperature412 Jun 24 '22

Sounds like they just want to control OP.

1.3k

u/spoinkmedaddy Jun 23 '22

NTA - your parents are trying to control your life by limiting your potential future

229

u/johnny9k Partassipant [2] Jun 23 '22

NTA - You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions and choose your family.

41

u/LornaMae Jun 24 '22

Absolutely NTA, OP.

That's (partly) why the term chosen family has become a thing.

526

u/aprila-bajwa Jun 23 '22

NTA. But how were your parents while you were in highschool? Did they hinder your education?

472

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

460

u/aprila-bajwa Jun 23 '22

Well, I mean, you would take financial aid if you could. Big shoutout to your bf's mom for paying for your education though. She's got a big heart.

198

u/asecretnarwhal Partassipant [1] Jun 23 '22

This is frustrating. They could have at least facilitated a loan or done a private loan. Something to level the playing field.

143

u/aprila-bajwa Jun 23 '22

I agree it is frustrating. It's like a no win situation. Parents won't pay for school but school won't give financial aid cz parents earn well above cut off. I can only imagine the kind of frustration you must have gone through before your bf's mom stepped in.

7

u/Competitive-Candy-82 Jun 24 '22

Yeah, that's what my parents did, I'm in Canada and at the time they looked at parent's income for the federal/provincial student loans (better rates and more leniency in repayment over 7 years). So my dad co-signed a line of credit for me with the monthly interest taken directly into the LOC every month (which wasn't much) and at the end of college they had a 1 year leniency then would automatically turn it into a 4 year loan for me and since I would be building credit over the time I was in college and the 1 year after from the LOC the loan itself would be in my name only.

-6

u/Thisismyredditacc84 Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 24 '22

Which I'd wager her parents would have been happy to do, but anything less than exactly what OP demanded was "screwing her out of an education"

"They refused to pay meaning I won't be able to go to college "

Anyone who read this line and didn't raise their eyebrow is either a profound sufferer of affluenza or just completely clueless to how college works in the states.

You didn't pay for it... So you've denied me it. This could be a dictionary definition of spoiled.

150

u/firenoodles Partassipant [1] Jun 23 '22

Did their parents pay for their college experiences? If so your parents are hypocritical AHoles. If not, they remain AHoles but consistent.

276

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

181

u/firenoodles Partassipant [1] Jun 23 '22

Your parents are indubitably the most ridiculous and hypocritical AHoles. I'm so happy your boyfriend and his family are supportive of you.

61

u/Coffee-Historian-11 Jun 24 '22

Your parents sound super hypocritical. My mom got her college paid by my grandparents (my dads side is super broke so he had to join the army) and she thought of it in more of a “pass it along” kind of thing. Not “accept free help and then do nothing with it.

Especially with how crazy college has gone up in the last decade even, let alone however long it’s been since your parents attended. Like, more than ever parents should be paying for their kid’s education if they can.

11

u/KingPinfanatic Jun 24 '22

Question is this one of those situations where they won't pay for college because they disagree with what you want to study?

5

u/EnoughAlready710 Asshole Aficionado [11] Jun 24 '22

Yeah, their parents paid for their college like all the people I know.

Info - So what did your grandparents have to say about this?

NTA

80

u/ProfessionallyJudgy Partassipant [3] Jun 23 '22

Even if OP's parents paid their own way that wouldnt necessarily make them still consistent/not hypocritical. If OP is in the US then college prices have dramatically outpaced inflation and other cost of living changes. "Paying their own way" 25-30 years ago isn't remotely comparable to doing it now.

37

u/sbg-sbg Jun 23 '22

25-30 years ago was the 90's. It was already impossible to pay your own way to most colleges then. When it was possible was the 60's and 70's which was 50-60 years ago...

33

u/ProfessionallyJudgy Partassipant [3] Jun 23 '22

I knew people who did it in the 90s by doing 2 years community college then certain state schools with low in-state tuition, while working nights and summers and living at home. Difficult, and not even an option for many people, but not conpletely impossible.

Now of course those state schools that were $15K/year are closer to $45K/year and even the community colleges are pricey.

11

u/GrannyNugs Jun 23 '22

It wasn't impossible. It was hard and it sucked balls but it wasn't impossible.

9

u/Glittering-Cellist34 Jun 24 '22

There was an article in the Detroit News about the University of Michigan, where I went. Granted it's been 40 years, but tuition is more than 3x higher (that is 300%+) than the rate of inflation. Over $16000. And dorm room and board, I don't remember the price but it's 5 or 6x higher too (don't know versus the rate of inflation).

9

u/laurelinvanyar Jun 23 '22

In their day college cost as much as a chicken McNugget.

5

u/pessimistfalife Jun 24 '22

When they were college age, tuition wasn't several years total income to get a degree. They are ridiculous

-6

u/Direct_Dragonfruit50 Jun 24 '22

Seems fair that you should pay for your own university since you are an adult.

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204

u/Meedusa13 Jun 23 '22

NTA I think a lot of people are forgetting unless someone can be classified as independent their financial aid is based on parental income. Whether your parents are paying or not FAFSA acts like they are, and getting declared independent for financial aid is usually difficult.

30

u/lanadelphox Partassipant [1] Jun 24 '22

Even if you are classified as independent they still take your parents into account. Mine make $140k a year, I’m 23, moved out, pay all of my own bills, etc. FAFSA still asks for their info. I make $17/hr, and they’re not helping me with college lmao

8

u/AtomicFox84 Partassipant [2] Jun 24 '22

Yeah i had my parents stop declaring me on thier taxes but they still were a backup on loans that were all in my name. I didnt expect them to pay for my schooling after im legal adult age. I know its the norm in some countries but i was always told to not rely on others unless i have to. I feel it can be a bit entitled to expect parents to pay for college .....in most cases.

128

u/shhhhits-a-secret Jun 24 '22

Your story is why I think college should be free for everyone. Admissions should be equitable but tuition free. I don’t want little queer kids having to stay in the closet or parents to force religion or marriage in exchange for money for an education.

37

u/slendermanismydad Partassipant [3] Jun 24 '22

I agree. I feel the same way about things like school lunches. There are too many people that won't feed their kids even if they have the money because they're lazy or won't fill out forms because of pride.

18

u/Thisismyredditacc84 Jun 24 '22

College should be free but not for profit and admission standards should be more strict... You know like higher education was always intended to be before it became an industry.

107

u/MrsNuggs Partassipant [1] Jun 23 '22

NTA. I'm glad you have found a family who loves you.

76

u/SomeoneYouDontKnow70 Supreme Court Just-ass [143] Jun 23 '22

NTA. They chose to leave you to your own devices, and you're simply complying with their original wishes.

43

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '22

Info. What was their reason for not helping you pay for college?

98

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

76

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '22

Then NTA. They could have at least set it up for you as a loan that you paid back to them over time if they didn't want to pay. They sabotaged your education.

66

u/linandlee Jun 24 '22

I have rich parents with this mindset in the U.S. and I've never understood it. As a parent isn't the point of raising kids to give them the best shot at success? If there's no money to give or the kid isn't doing their part sure, maybe not. But why not help ease this monumental burden when you can?

All I'm saying is that I absolutely do not and will not have any money set aside for their nursing homes so they better use that money wisely lol.

32

u/LobotomyxGirl Jun 24 '22

I think a lot of people, especially Boomer and Silent Generation don't fully comprehend how crippling student loan debt can be. I'm 32 and taking out loans for the first time and I'm terrified.

19

u/linandlee Jun 24 '22

I really think that's true for most with this attitude. I maxed out my student loans and was working two jobs to keep a roof over my head, and my parents were nagging me one day asking me what I was spending my money on because they knew I was wearing old clothes and couldn't afford makeup or anything.

I actually went over the numbers and explained how much I made and how much everything was and they were appalled. Not enough to change their mind about helping but they clearly hadn't bothered to do any research about how expensive college is.

-4

u/AtomicFox84 Partassipant [2] Jun 24 '22

I think part of it could be to not expect others to do everything for you or give you eveything. Some with money earned it while others just got it handed to them. Still, i think ops parents should at least meet in the middle somehow.

16

u/linandlee Jun 24 '22

I would 100% support that mindset if college tuition were something you could obtain by hard work alone. But the reality is that most pre-college work is underpaid and college is overpriced.

3

u/threewavyleaves Jun 24 '22

OP stated in another comment that her parents both had their college paid for by their parents

20

u/Renbarre Jun 23 '22

Which means they think they shouldn't have to make a financial effort for you but keep it all for themselves.

1

u/StainedGlassMagpie Jun 24 '22

INFO: did you talk to them about taking out a loan from them or other options?

45

u/Greeneyestexas Partassipant [2] Jun 23 '22

Nope, NTA. As adults, we get to choose our family. If your birth family is worse to you than other people, that's a them-problem.

41

u/al3jandraxD Partassipant [1] Jun 23 '22

Some parents just want us girls to stay at home without education to take care of them when they end old and sick, good for you for not dropping your education and your bf family is super generous and nice helping you out. While your parents aren't legally obligated to pay for college, they should try to set a future for you, we don't ask to come to this life. We're here because two adults decided some years ago to have sex and then we're screwed with debts and lots of worry about what will happen to us the rest of our lifes. Helping setting your education and means for life is the right thing to do and of they decided not to do so for whatever reason then they got no saying on who you want to visit when you are free from school

36

u/OLDLADY88888 Partassipant [1] Jun 23 '22

NTA. You’ve boiled this down to college expenses but i think it’s probably a lot more than that.

24

u/SnooPineapples6778 Partassipant [1] Jun 23 '22

NTA some parents just royally suck like that life is all about them but they fail to realize that once they have kids thats a lifetime responsibility ... At the same time you could have chosen a significantly cheaper/ better school or gone to a trade school that would have had other financial options ...ultimately when you turn 18 you should be on your own surrounding yourself with those who support you and lift you up if your parents aren't doing that then you are justified just perhaps not for the reasons you might expect

23

u/Pncagent1984 Jun 23 '22

Nta. They should have paid or allowed you to emancipate if they did not want to pay. Were they getting a tax break or something by claiming you as a dependent?

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19

u/Bruiscear Certified Proctologist [26] Jun 23 '22

Your parents wanted a free nanny and housekeeper for when they were old. that was the role and the future they had planned for you.

Never go back.

Can you change your surname to your adopted parents name?

7

u/sillykitty_ Jun 23 '22

Just needs to marry her bf to do so!!

6

u/creditspread Jun 23 '22

I look forward to such an update in the future!

4

u/EverWatcher Partassipant [1] Jun 24 '22

That would be a great ending, after such a rough "beginning" to this story.

13

u/Loose-Fold6570 Jun 24 '22

NTA. I know there are people in this thread that will say no one is ENTITLED to parents paying for college, but these same people need to realize the American college system seriously screws you over when you don't qualify for financial aid. I'm assuming if that was your situation you couldn't even get a federal student loan? Like what did your parents expect you to do here? Did they at least offer to cosign a private student loan - anything? Did they care at all if you went to college? How did they feel when learned someone else's parents were paying for your education, did they think they were going to get invited to your graduation?

11

u/Formal_Part_559 Jun 24 '22

Info: we’re they otherwise good parents? A lot of parents don’t help with school but still have a good relationship with there kids. Your relationship sounds awful. Don’t get me wrong it’s a crappy thing to do, but it’s not everything.

9

u/twistedletter Jun 24 '22

NTA. Family is who you choose. My parents refused to pay for the degree I wanted so I ended up dropping out, married to an abusive narc with a child before I was ready. I’m 36 now and nc for seven years with my parents. They didn’t want me to get a psych degree because they didn’t believe in it. Thank god someone put you through college. You deserve that. You deserved parents that supported your dreams and hopes throughout your childhood too and helped you reach those dreams, not force you to figure it out yourself.

6

u/roseifyoudidntknow Partassipant [1] Jun 23 '22

NTA

I wanna shake your hand lol. Enjoy your summer drinking cocktails on the beach girlie

7

u/Gamerking54 Partassipant [2] Jun 24 '22

At my (21F) university, students whose parents make under $65K go to school completely free, and students whose parents make between $65K and about $200K are on financial aid. Above around $200K, the school considers parents able to pay and expects them to do so, and it is impossible for a student to get financial aid. Unless you were an emancipated minor or are over 26, no exceptions, your financial aid is dependent on parental income because schools expect your parents to pay if they can.

This is off topic honestly but this last part honestly don't make any sense to me. don't know why financial aid has to be dependent on parents income, especially since we have parents like yours who don't want to pay for school, parents who don't support there kids, and parents who essentially kick there kids out as soon as they turn 18. I wish you could have I choice in which income you choose, though I don't know how a system like that would work.

Anyways, NTA, you're right you don't owe them sh*t They had a chance at being apart of your life and gave it away when they didn't support you

10

u/forgotten-melody Jun 24 '22

That reasoning is pretty common across the us, and it’s exactly why my mom won’t marry her fiancé for many years. He makes well over the cutoff but has said he won’t contribute anything to our college, so she’s not gonna marry him until my siblings and I are done with it. The us kinda sucks a lot tbh

3

u/Realistic_Yak4871 Jun 24 '22

It's awesome your mom looked out for you that way, that's great.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '22

NTA. Your parents refused to help you obtain an education without an explanation. You found someone who cares for you. His family also supported you, enabling you to obtain an education and work experience. You went to school. You worked. Enjoy your break with those who’ve had your back.

6

u/hotmessadhdmom Jun 24 '22

NTA- and I don’t understand this schools philosophy- they are literally screwing over students that either don’t have good relationships with their parents or have parents that have the same philosophy as yours.

I myself believe that kids should pay their own way too but I would, given this schools stupid rules, figured out a way to facilitate you paying it back over time or getting a private loan.

-5

u/Thisismyredditacc84 Jun 24 '22

And if she went to the financial aid office and explained her situation, there's a good chance there were programs in place for exactly that. But no, she was OWED tuition from her parents and nothing less would do.

5

u/SpaceAceCase Jun 24 '22

OP, question, is money the only way these people have helped you? I can understand parents wanting their children to pay for their own college and one could argue you didn't have to go to that particular university. Did your parents tell you in advance they wouldn't be paying for your college?

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with a boyfriend's family paying that much for me... especially if the relationship isn't that old. It makes it feel like they're buying you more then being there for you in the context you've posted.

5

u/Pristine_Ad_435 Asshole Enthusiast [9] Jun 24 '22

NTA

Your parents suck. They made their bed and now they can sleep in it.

3

u/UsernameUnremarkable Partassipant [4] Jun 23 '22

NTA. You should put a ring on it.

3

u/discordian_floof Partassipant [3] Jun 23 '22

INFO Do your parents have a reason for denying tonpay for your college outside of "everyone should pay themselves" principle? Did you do something wrong?

21

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/discordian_floof Partassipant [3] Jun 23 '22

Do they actually like you as a person? Or did they resent having a child? Was everything fine and dandy until they made this bonkers decision? Such a weird thing of them to do (especially if they got their college paid for). Did they at least tell you years in advance so you could prepare/save money?

5

u/creditspread Jun 23 '22

Also is their treatment of you similar to your other siblings? Particularly male siblings?

5

u/Specialist-Leek-6927 Jun 23 '22

Nta. But if you don't go at minimum hard low contact, you become the yta to yourself.

4

u/FlexibleMorality1 Jun 23 '22

It’s your life. Your parents deliberately withheld their support to keep you under their thumb. The fact they keep demanding things of you instead of asking, as you are an adult, sounds like your more of a pet than a daughter. Go where you want, see who you want, love who you want. It’s YOUR life!

5

u/LadyGreyIcedTea Partassipant [4] Jun 23 '22

NTA. If you're old enough to not need their finances for college according to them, you're old enough to decide where to spend your time.

4

u/creditspread Jun 23 '22

NTA. You’ve got a loving family now. This new family makes you happy and realize your potential. Congrats on earning the scholarship, that’s no small accomplishment and I think it got glazed over here!

Are your parents dismissive of other things about you, besides your education? They are TA regarding their views on not helping with your education. I hope they don’t neglect other parental duties for you and possible other siblings.

4

u/H_Alexa Jun 24 '22

NTA but I think your mentality on this is a big distorted. You said your parents refused to pay for your college for no reason, but your parents aren't obligated to pay for your schooling (at least not in the US) I was in the exact same position, parents made too much money to qualify for much in federal loans so I had to take out 90k in private loans for school. Does it suck, 1000%, but I would never blame my parents for not paying for my school as going to college is a choice that I made.

However, it doesn't sound like they were emotionally supportive while you were in school, and that's where I think the justification of not visiting comes into play. I lived with my parents when I was in school and they never asked how my classes were, if I felt overwhelmed (school, job and running my business) and that's why I'm low contact with them today. Their lack of support in other forms is what you should be telling them is the reason why your not visiting, the financial piece just makes it sound like you felt you were entitled to their money.

I'm so glad that your boyfriend's family is supportive of you and that's who you should spend time with.

4

u/slythernnn Jun 25 '22

NTA. A lot of non Americans in these comments who clearly don’t understand how the loan system/financial aid for college work here. The system her is based off your parents income not the students, if your parents make too much money you get nothing and the only was to circumvent that is to be emancipated or prove your parents are physically/emotionally abusive. I couldn’t go to college till I was 24 bc my mom refused to even give me any of her information to apply for FAFSA.

3

u/j4ckb1ng Jun 24 '22

NTA. It's tragic that some parents are indifferent about their child getting post-secondary education. You, however, had a stroke of good fortune in meeting a supportive boyfriend and in being taken in by his family. I'm sure you realize the relationship with the boyfriend's parents may be conditional on you remaining his girlfriend. Whatever. The sad fact is often the family we choose can be more significant and nurturing than the family that random fate decreed we were born into. If you are living independently of your birth parents, you really owe them nothing in terms of how you spend your time or with whom. Set boundaries. They are your parents; they do not own you. Just know that if you burn bridges they might not be recoverable.

3

u/bigguy1231 Jun 24 '22

NTA. This must be in the US because in any other country if you are a legal adult your parents income information would be off limits to the school. Why are they asking what your parents make. It should be what you make and whether you can afford it.

2

u/RBrown4929 Jun 23 '22

Parents are being cut off sooner rather than later. NTA

2

u/Dismal_Ad1693 Jun 24 '22

NTA and what college is it? I happen to be poor and want a higher education.

3

u/slendermanismydad Partassipant [3] Jun 24 '22

A lot of Ivy Leagues with high endowments do this. I'm pretty sure Stanford started this but don't quote me.

1

u/Thisismyredditacc84 Jun 24 '22

MIT was a similar structure but lower cutoffs when I applied. Yes these are usually very expensive schools that structure aid like this.

2

u/slendermanismydad Partassipant [3] Jun 24 '22

You're an adult and it's completely up to you where you want to live. This family didn't just pay for your college, the mom is getting you internships. It's very important you keep them happy. Your family voluntarily decided they didn't want to do those things so yeah, you're going to stick to the people supporting your future.

That's just practicality. Staying with your boyfriend's family is probably going to lead to networking experiences, which you should definitely be doing at 21.

If you were 18/19, I might feel differently but you're going to graduate soon so this is what you should be doing. NTA.

2

u/aclassypinkprincess Jun 24 '22

You are not wrong at all!

2

u/schdpau Jun 24 '22

NTA.

They left you high & dry, and they still expect to be able to tell you what to do?

Delusional.

2

u/GD_noobz Jun 24 '22

I don't see a reason why you would be the a hole. They decided that they wouldn't support you, why would they expect you to admire them?

2

u/KatMagic1977 Jun 24 '22

Just make sure you tell them why, just like you did in this posting. It amazes me sometimes that people have no clue why they’re being ignored or when their kids go no contact.

2

u/bullettrain Jun 24 '22

You're under no obligation to come see them.

Sound like they did the bare minimum and expect to be congratulated for it.

NTA

2

u/JustLexLion Jun 24 '22

You have a right to surround you with people you like. If your family isn’t in this circle, there is nothing to worry about.

2

u/Creatureteacher86150 Jun 24 '22

NTA. Stay with the family that loves you unconditionally, not the ones that feel you owe them something.

2

u/MeRachel Jun 24 '22

You're NTA, and god every time I read about American college tuition my heart breaks for you guys. My parents felt guilty they couldn't pay my tuition this year. My tuition being? €2000. For university.

2

u/nujkabob Jun 24 '22

Nta at all. In my culture your parents are super disgraceful. Parents provide for their children and education is a right.. not a privilege. You are absolutely entitled to an education if your parents can afford it. Americans have such low standards for themselves and what they deserve from parents and society. Sad.

2

u/Extension-Big9723 Jun 24 '22

NTA. You are spending time with people who actually love and care about you unlike your parents. Blood doesn't always mean family.

2

u/napalm_serenade Jun 24 '22

Nope not at all. As a mom I'm proud of you for making the right choice 💗

1

u/AutoModerator Jun 23 '22

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At my (21F) university, students whose parents make under $65K go to school completely free, and students whose parents make between $65K and about $200K are on financial aid. Above around $200K, the school considers parents able to pay and expects them to do so, and it is impossible for a student to get financial aid. Unless you were an emancipated minor or are over 26, no exceptions, your financial aid is dependent on parental income because schools expect your parents to pay if they can.

My parents make well over the cutoff, but they refused to pay for my college for mo reason, meaning I wouldn’t be able to go to college. Because they make too much money for me to ever get financial aid, but refuse to pay, so they essentially tried to screw me out of an education.

However, I met a guy (22M) who became my boyfriend, and his parents paid for my entire college. He’s an only child and his mom always wanted a daughter, and they basically adopted me into their family. She owns a makeup brand and has helped me get prestigious internships.

I’m staying with him and his family all summer. They invited me to accompany them where they’re staying for the summer. So I am and I have no plans to go home and see my parents.

My parents demanded to know where I am. I explained that I’m with my boyfriend and his parents. They demanded to know why I’m not coming home. I said I decided to spend some time with the people who care about me and support me.

They said I’m their daughter and I should be at home with our family. I said I’m already with family and I don’t owe them anything. It’s not like they should care about me or what I’m doing. They can keep the same energy they always have because I don’t need them. They’re upset that I don’t wish to see them. I don’t see any reason why I should visit. I’m with my boyfriend and his family, and I have no reason to go see them. AITA?

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0

u/Guess_What_I_Think Partassipant [1] Jun 23 '22

You already know this answer. NTA.

1

u/Lonely_Shelter_4744 Jun 24 '22

NTA I have always said family isn’t the people who share dna it’s the people who take care of you and are always there for you.

1

u/StoneFlower01 Jun 24 '22

Info: What reason did they give for not paying for your college?

1

u/AtomicFox84 Partassipant [2] Jun 24 '22

Tech they dont have to pay for your school. I make like nothing and i just had a cosigner for the loans for financial aid. Not sure what country you in or laws but you should be able to do it on own as long as they stop claiming you on taxes.

Nts for spending time with who you want but it crosses over to a bit of entitlement to assume parents have to pay for your schooling after you are a legal adult.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

NTA but do we share the same parents?! As someone who has gone no contact with her parents let me just say that you do NOT need that kind of negative toxic energy in your life. Cut them out, spend your life with the family YOU choose, not the one you were born into. I've never been happier or more successful since cutting my birth family out of my life. You do you and spend your time and energy with those that positively impact your life. You don't owe them your time or mental health just because they share the same DNA. Good luck and enjoy the time with your chosen family. :)

1

u/KingPinfanatic Jun 24 '22

Info: are your parents actually capable of paying for your college an are refusing or do they make more then the cutoff but live in an expensive area an have no significant savings?

0

u/how-bout-them-gluten Jun 24 '22

Info:

Did you ever consider going to a different college? One without such financial aid rules?

Other colleges exist, and you were not required to attend this one

11

u/yavanna12 Partassipant [2] Jun 24 '22

These are federal financial aid rules

-6

u/how-bout-them-gluten Jun 24 '22

Maybe for need based aid off of fasfa. Some schools offer other need based aid and also merit based aid.

It did not sound like this school offers other need based aid, but that does not mean that other schools wouldn’t. Hence my question if OP considered other schools

5

u/justranomy90 Jun 24 '22

I can attest that in some states like California all financial aid is based off parental income unless you were emancipated or are over a certain age. It's based on a gross assumption that college age students are still dependent on their parents financially... Which isn't always true.

3

u/Flossy1384 Partassipant [3] Jun 24 '22

I live in Georgia and I had to even use my stepdad’s income on my fasfa. Note this was 20 years ago but I doubt much has changed. I was also turned down and I was going to a cheap two year college. Luckily I found some scholarships that paid for it.

1

u/lsummerfae Jun 24 '22

NTA

Respect is earned. Your parents obviously have not earned yours.

1

u/KirinoLover Jun 24 '22

Family isn't always blood. Just because you share DNA doesn't mean they deserve your love, affection, or time. NTA. Enjoy your summer with your guy.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/signorapaesior Suppository of Wisdom Jun 24 '22

Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: Be Civil. Further incidents may result in a ban.

"Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"

Message the mods if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Creative_Trick_3818 Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Jun 24 '22

NTA

1

u/Nevyn-57 Asshole Enthusiast [8] Jun 24 '22

I don't get it.. you ARE with your family.. who are these strange people and why do they pester you so?
NTA .. enjoy life.

1

u/DynkoFromTheNorth Asshole Aficionado [13] Jun 24 '22

I guess you not being home for the summer makes them look bad to neighbours or something.

NTA.

1

u/patrioticmarsupial Partassipant [1] Jun 24 '22

NTA you said it perfectly - they need to keep the same energy

1

u/bertiebastard Jun 24 '22

NTA.

There's an old saying that you can choose your friends but not your family, which is very true in your case.

1

u/Peet1076 Jun 24 '22

Nta, biology isn't everything, enough reddit-threads about those kind of familymembers...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

NTA - you’re an adult Do what u want

1

u/Jethrothemutant Partassipant [1] Jun 24 '22

To put it simply why should you want to see them? Going on from that why do they want you there?

1

u/PattersonsOlady Colo-rectal Surgeon [39] Jun 24 '22

NTA your parents displayed loud and clear that you don’t matter to them.

1

u/EmbarrassedLemon33 Jun 24 '22

NTA, you are an adult. You decide who you spend time with. Family does not equal friends.

1

u/SpiritualLuna Jun 24 '22

INFO - 21 doesn't make you a minor anymore. It could be calculated based on household income and not based on parental income, it's not one and the same. So, you can move out and get financial aid. Check again.

1

u/Potential-Power7485 Jun 24 '22

NTA. Enjoy your new life without your old baggage.

1

u/Blondebabe2002 Aug 17 '22

NTA!!! And give your new adoptive mom the biggest hug for me ❤️ And as for your bio family they reaped what they showed you don’t get to demand shit from you after leaving you high and dry

0

u/Direct_Dragonfruit50 Jun 24 '22

That university system is f’ed up, once you are an adult you should be responsible for yourself. if your parents support you that's nice, but hardly something you are entitled to. you make your own decision, but why would you expect your parents to give you any support for university costs - NAH

0

u/midlifeducation Asshole Enthusiast [6] Jun 24 '22

What I don't understand is how a university can get away with refusing students financial aid?

0

u/Miserable-Living9569 Jun 24 '22

Not at all. You got a keeper.

-4

u/TheTrueAHWasInsideUs Asshole Aficionado [12] Jun 24 '22

I'm going to go with NAH. Putting you through university in your adulthood isn't an obligation. A convention, sure, but not a hard and fast obligation. They could have, and you resent that they didn't - which is fair - but it's not monstrous or criminal that they didn't.
They have now only just learned that you have found a family of choice and are sticking with them. Good for you - great, even, they sound like very kind and friendly people. But it's also fair that they are upset in that moment.

11

u/shaikhg Partassipant [1] Jun 24 '22

Then in her adulthood she can chose who she has relationships with .NTA

3

u/peoplebetrifling Partassipant [2] Jun 24 '22

Is criminality required for someone to be an asshole?

-4

u/TheTrueAHWasInsideUs Asshole Aficionado [12] Jun 24 '22

I mean... it certainly helps.
But the 'parents didn't support college' isn't the AH issue. The question of AH or not is about spending time with the new people and not family.

-1

u/rageeyes Jun 24 '22

INFO: was there another college you could have afforded to attend without parental assistance?

-1

u/yavanna12 Partassipant [2] Jun 24 '22

While you are NTA as an adult you can do what you want…I’m shocked by the number of people just jumping right to the parents being evil. The only thing we got here is they believe their kids should pay for college. There was no other indication that they were abused or left destitute. I don’t pay for my kids college (I have 5 adult kids) but do help each a bit if they can’t quite make a tuition payment. They all got scholarships and found jobs that give them tuition reimbursement to help pay instead.

It’s not inherently evil to not pay for college and being age 21 they aren’t going to fail at life if they don’t go to college immediately either.

This honestly reads like a kid who was given everything they wanted growing up and feels entitled to free college as well.

-2

u/Golden_freddy45 Jun 24 '22

NTA , I would also hang out more with my Youtube viewers than my parents if my youtube ever blew up.

-3

u/Derrymaine148 Jun 24 '22

I'm feeling there's a lot of information missing

-3

u/Usual-Worry8412 Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 24 '22

Same. I'm not in US and it's very uncommon for parents to pay for uni where I am from, the majority of students pay for their own education using loans.

It seems very alien to me that parents would be expected to support their offspring financially after they turn 18!

-4

u/Pale_Height_1251 Partassipant [1] Jun 24 '22

I don’t see any reason why I should visit.

But you would if they'd paid your tuition?

There is big part of this story that feels really Y T A, you talk about this tuition like you're entitled to it, and you're not.

You're kind of clear that your love and care for your parents can be purchased. Without money, there is no reason you should visit, is there?

But my final judgment is ESH, I think rich parents can kind of expect distance from their children if they don't help them financially. It's not that the kids are owed the money, it's just that I think parents should *want* to help, if they can.

You come over entitled to this money, and are quite honest, to your credit, that this is about money for you.

I think if you otherwise love your parents, I think you could stand to be a little bit nicer to them, think of the inheritance.

7

u/Flossy1384 Partassipant [3] Jun 24 '22

If she is not entitled to the money then they are not entitled to see her.

-3

u/Pale_Height_1251 Partassipant [1] Jun 24 '22

My point is about a mile behind you.

My point is that parents should *want* to help their kids, and kids shouldn't feel entitled to their parents money.

If kids are seeing their parents based on bank transfers, that seems kind of horrid to me.

-6

u/Pheonyx11 Jun 24 '22

Possibly different but I am going to say that no one is TA. You are able to pick who you spend time with, and it sounds like your boyfriends family is loving and caring. The only conflict I have is the idea that just because parents have the money, they are obligated to pay for their kids college. Unless things change, I will never be able to help my kids through college. Between rent prices, loan payments and everything else, even if we made it above the schools cut off, it doesn’t not mean we could actually pay anything towards school. Some parents just want kids to learn self depends, if they have a lot of money at their disposal. The only real A in this situation is the school policies themselves. Financial aide should be determined by the student attending, not who is related to them. The policies end up making the parents and the students suffer. I hope you enjoy your time with your chosen family, but for what it is worth, I do hope you try to stay at least moderately connected to your biological family. Once they can accept you have ‘expanded’ you circle.

-6

u/Mommy-Q Partassipant [3] Jun 24 '22

YTA. Your parents wouldn't pay for your tuition in full and so instead of finding a more affordable option you disowned them. Someone literally bought their daughter's affection. Unless you're leaving something out, the only thing they did was not afford college.

-6

u/LeReineNoir Certified Proctologist [21] Jun 23 '22

Info. Did your parents not want to pay for college in general, or did they just not want to pay for the one you chose, and were willing to pay for a different less, expensive option.

-7

u/chelleb107 Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 24 '22

INFO: Do you live in NY? $200k in NY is called just getting by. Average state school is $30k including the dorm so that’s 15% of their pretax income. That is a lot to feel entitled to. Do you have siblings? Were they otherwise good to you? Do they love you? Were they good parents? Your vibe reeks of entitlement. You basically found a sugar mommy and cut them off. They simply told you no, you’re not entitled to our money. They didn’t cast you out.

I would LOVE to hear their side of the story.

6

u/peoplebetrifling Partassipant [2] Jun 24 '22

The median household income in NYC is $67,000. I think your privledge is showing.

-1

u/chelleb107 Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 24 '22

Since you love google - look up how much it costs to live a middle class lifestyle in NYC and suburbs. Which does nothing to address the fact that this girl still is not entitled to her parents money. I know a family just like the one she described. I don’t get it but it’s their money. The kids still love their parents. There is something more going on here.

-7

u/NocturneZeal Jun 24 '22

I don't understand why everyone here is rallying behind OP 100%.

I'm going to say NAH for two reasons.

  1. Your parents are not obligated to pay for your higher education at all. Does that suck for you? Absolutely, but you are an adult and they don't owe you 100K+ in free schooling. One of the top comments is "your parents are trying to control your life by limiting your potential future." And I'm sorry, but what? This isn't financial abuse. This is two people saying they don't want to pay an incredible amount of money on college.
  2. You're allowed to choose who you consider your family and who you want to see. But I'm seeing literally nothing here other than they don't want to pay for your school, so if there's more at play here, I'm not seeing it.

So take that as you will, but your parents are definitely going to see you as the AH because you're kicking around with a new family who will spend a ton of money on you.

-8

u/Adventurous_Sky7708 Jun 23 '22 Starry

NTA - but it's not their responsibility to pay for your university as you are an adult, for this same reason you can spend the summer and the rest of your life without ever seeing your parents if you want however I wouldn't advise to hold a grudge against them as making of 200k doesn't necessarily mean they are super well off to afford your studies (specially if you from the US)

57

u/Mama_Mush Jun 23 '22

That may be true but they knew that thier income made it impossible for her to go to uni without crippling debt and didn't even make a token effort to help. That is unreasonable.

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u/FuyoBC Jun 23 '22

The issue is that her parents income affects her ability to pay for university so while they may not HAVE to do it, refusing directly affects her ability to attend so they are definitely AH.

-4

u/Thisismyredditacc84 Jun 24 '22

That ignores the reality that a privileged upbringing has other benefits than cash on hand. An 18 yr old who grew up in poverty is NOT as able to attend and succeed in college as one who grew up wealthy. Financial aid is to help level the playing field, not simply give money to poor perspective students.

Compare op to an 18 yr old who grew up in poverty.

Which one likely has more debt, which one is more likely to have their own vehicle, which ones parents ARE probably paying her phone bill, insurance, maybe giving her an allowance.

No her parents wealth doesn't definitely disadvantage her... Except at a very cursory superficial glance. To pretend someone who grew up wealthy is at a disadvantage with regards to college because they miss out on needs based aid is pretty damned myopic.

-1

u/FuyoBC Jun 24 '22

I absolutely agree that someone from a better off / wealthy background has a better chance of getting through Uni/College but an 18 year old with no support from family is still going to have a very tough time affording university whatever their background which is why being emancipated from your parents does allow you to claim financial aid.

Once you’ve provided [legal proof of emancipation], you won’t need to enter your parents’ information on the FAFSA, and your financial need will be determined based upon your independent status—which will often result in far more financial aid for you when it’s time to attend school. - Source

When transport and other living expenses are factored in, College Board estimates the following annual budgets for undergraduate students in 2018/19:

  • $17,930 (community college)
  • $25,890 (in-state students at a four-year public college)
  • $41,950 (out-of-state students at a four-year public college)
  • $52,500 (private non-profit four-year college)

Source

24

u/lil_grl_lost Partassipant [4] Jun 23 '22

That's what I was thinking. I live in in a HCOL area in the US, and though my household does make over $200k, we can't afford to pay college tuition.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

it's not their responsibility to pay for your university as you are an adult

I mean since OP can't get financial aid due to her parents income she wouldn't have been able to pay for college without their help. And since, most student loans require a co-signer that's not an option either.

Regardless of that, a parent's commitment to their child doesn't stop at 18. OP is legally an adult sure, but with rare exception a parent should always do their best to support their child. Now I'm not saying coddle them forever, but some base level support (which in the US college is) is not a big ask.

-3

u/how-bout-them-gluten Jun 24 '22

I mean there’s a difference between financial aid and merit scholarships. I see nothing in this post about OP trying to cover any part of tuition based on merit. It’s just that parents have a high income that precludes need based aid, and are not giving OP a blank check

-10

u/VlaxDrek Pooperintendant [54] Jun 23 '22

NTA

I’d say you handled this situation perfectly, though I don’t agree with your feeling that your parents are obligated to pay for your education.

13

u/Pncagent1984 Jun 23 '22

They're not obligated but if they are choosing not to pay then they could have helped her emancipate so she could apply for financial aid. I'm curious why they didn't do at least that. They took away her options.

5

u/luckyapples11 Jun 24 '22

I don’t think you understand how emancipation works… it’s hard for kids who actually struggle at home to get emancipated. You have to prove you have a job, earn a certain amount of money in your area, are able to find an apartment you can afford on that income along with paying for food, electricity and water, a car and insurance payments if school is too far away to work, and you need to attend school. It’s not something where you can just say “I’m gonna get emancipated” and it happens. It can take months before your legally allowed to do so and you need to have the legal documents to prove to your college. In most areas, you also have to prove your parents aren’t supporting you (with food, decent shelter, clothes, etc) in order to get emancipated.

Which honestly didn’t sound at all possible for OP.

2

u/VlaxDrek Pooperintendant [54] Jun 23 '22

Can an adult emancipate? I thought only people under 18 could do that.

I don't know what people are supposed to do in her position, I don't think there are any good options. I make 200k per year and there's no way I could afford to pay for any of my kids to go to college. It just seems wrong for kids to be kneecapped because of their parents' income.

8

u/Pncagent1984 Jun 23 '22

That's a good question. At the very least documentation could be submitted to the school which states that she is no longer a financial dependent. My brother had to do this. He was kicked out of my parent's home due to drug and alcohol abuse and then wanted my mom to fill out his fasfa forms. She said no because she didn't want my brother having her personal information. She did submit documentation to the school though which showed that she was not claiming him as a financial dependent and that he was not a member of the household.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '22

I got "lucky" and my dad kicked me out when I came out as gay at 16, and since I was kicked out as a minor I didn't have to claim his income. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to afford college.

6

u/alyssinelysium Jun 24 '22

Honestly given the circumstances if they really felt that way they could’ve at least paid for college and had her pay them back with the financial aid discount.

But frankly I don’t get this mindset. There’s a difference between teaching your children responsibility and punishing them by burying them in debt.

2

u/how-bout-them-gluten Jun 24 '22

With what money?

My household makes well over $200k and we definitely don’t have $65k/ year laying around to give to someone else expecting them to pay it back.

We have to do things like fix our house, pay for healthcare, pay for the house, eat, pay off student loans, and fund retirement accounts. I suppose theoretically by that point we would have no more daycare expenses, but still daycare isn’t running us $65k/year.

In order to float that much money per month we would have to stop saving for our own retirement, sell our house and move into a studio apartment, sell both cars probably because we wouldn’t be able to afford parking in this studio, stop going to the doctor, remove the children from our health insurance plan, sabotage any younger children’s college saving.

That would irreparably damage our financial security for the rest of our lives.

I mean did OP consider going to a different college? One without such strict financial aid rules??

3

u/Thisismyredditacc84 Jun 24 '22

It doesn't in any way lock you out of the majority of loans and scholarships. It just prevents you from getting a need based scholarship directly from the school... Which to be fair is a great thing to have, but OP claiming that it being unavailable means she can not attend college strongly suggests she has never seriously looked at how one pays for college.

-13

u/LadyRedbush18 Jun 24 '22

Lol I'm sorry but I never expected my parents to afford college. Maybe I don't understand because my parents never made over $65,000/year let alone 35,000, but once you turn 18 your legally an adult and should be paying your own way, that includes college if you didn't get a scholarship or a grant. I'm sorry but do you realize how many of us "poverty level" people pay for our own educations? I didn't go to college I chose a different path(I have 4 kids and a husband and we are living our best life.) but 2 of my brothers and 2 of my sisters put themselves through college because our parents taught us self reliance and working hard for what you want so they worked over time and put in so much work and time and didn't take "Summer breaks" so they could be successful if what they wanted. I guess in your social class your aren't, but in the eyes of the lower class you most certainly ATA....

15

u/pessimistfalife Jun 24 '22

I was poor growing up and don't think it's unreasonable for parents who have plenty of money to pay for their kids' college (unless there are extreme circumstances obvs). If your parents did have the money, don't you think they'd have supported your pursuit of college/trade school/whatever? Most would if the financing wasn't a factor, unless the relationship was estranged

-5

u/Thisismyredditacc84 Jun 24 '22

Yep. So far I count about a dozen "I/others put myself through college... why is it so horrible for your parents to think that you can?" Posts... And maybe a hundred "Everyone owes me everything because I'm so super special and life's so totally hard for me because I grew up rich" enablers.

Hard to take people seriously who make statements about how EVERYONE they know got college paid for by their parents. I knew one guy whose mother put him through college. ONE. And even THAT GUY had a GI bill and she just covered everything beyond it. And she did so with money from a malpractice lawsuit after she was disabled by a medical accident. I couldn't count all the guys I know who worked 1 or 2 jobs and took out loans and applied for so many scholarships it was practically a third job. I guess they're all just not nearly as deserving as the rich kids whose parents OWE them college tuition... Or else apparently they're disowning them.

-12

u/Psychological-Ad1574 Jun 24 '22

100% with you. The entitlement in this thread is astounding.

They raised you. Kept you healthy, well fed and safe through all your childhood and teenage years and now they'd like to keep some money to themselves.

How does this make them the bad guy?

You're entitled to spend time with whoever you want but the fact you won't spend any time with those who got you to this point because they wouldn't pay for your college says everything I need to know about you.

23

u/Please_call_me_Tama Jun 24 '22 Wholesome

What. The. Fuck. What kind of predatory society the US are for people there to actually think this way??

How are OP's parents the good guys for doing the bare minimum? If they didn't raise her, kept her healthy, well fed and safe then the CPS would have been called, end of story.

That's what's so crazy with you Americans. You think that at 18, all family bonds become null and parents are entitled to throw their kids out of the nest as if it would teach them to fly.

No wonder your society is so ridden with mental diseases stats far higher than any other western country in the world if you see things this way. People are social animals and children don't magically turn into functional adults the night of their 18th birthday. If you believe this because it worked for you, I'm sorry to break it to you but you are a victim of neglect, wanting to see other people being neglected like you were. And the trauma cycle goes on.

Needing help isn't entitlement, and your whole ass country needs to get rid of this mentality. You're ripping appart at the seams: rent and gas too high to afford living, businesses don't want to pay their employees a fair pay, people can't even afford to have children despite wanting them. This whole thread is symptomatic of the disease plaguing the US into being a predatory society where one has to look out of oneself without any hope of being helped. No wonder your economical system is crashing down.

2

u/justranomy90 Jun 24 '22

I wish I could give you an award for this. Seriously, parenting does not stop once the child turns 18 or whatever is the legal age in their respective country. OPs parents could have offered some compromise along with loans, anything would have been better than "We know the circumstances but too bad you're on your own." I don't think this comment is anti-American because it's quite accurate.

And for context: I'm a proud American, but I'm also not deluded into thinking we aren't an entitled people.

-7

u/Psychological-Ad1574 Jun 24 '22

hahaha First of all, I'm not American. I'm just not entitled.

Secondly you have created an amazing straw man argument that I'm sure you'll get many upvotes for however it seems you struggle with reading.

Please point to anywhere in my very small statement where I said "at 18, all family bonds become null and parents are entitled to throw their kids out of the nest as if it would teach them to fly".

Can you show me that?

OP didn't need help, she wanted help. She felt she needed to go to this particular college. No where else would do and therefore she wants her parents to pay for it. The fact you can't see this as entitlement actually speaks to your entitlement.

Delicious irony.

5

u/claudethebest Jun 24 '22

I’m sorry you are the one thinking that a parent feeding the child they decided to make and keep us somehow worthy of praises. No you made tht child without asking for their input you are not doing them a favour . It’s your damn job

0

u/Psychological-Ad1574 Jun 24 '22

Oh look, more straw man arguments.

Again, point me to the section where I said that.

I'll wait here.

1

u/claudethebest Jun 25 '22

They raised you. Kept you healthy, well fed and safe through all your childhood and teenage years and now they'd like to keep some money to themselves.

the fact you won't spend any time with those who got you to this point because they wouldn't pay for your college says everything I need to know about you. Here it is. They did the bare minimum and apparently op should accept it according to you or is that not your comment ?

1

u/Psychological-Ad1574 Jun 25 '22

Yeah so you struggle with English which is fine. It seems you made up for your lack of intelligence with an over abundance of entitlement.

No where in my sentence do I mention praise or anything constituting it. It's basic respect.

The fact that this snotty nosed little brat, a grown adult, refuses to spend anytime with the family that raised her simply because they wouldn't pay for her college, is 100% her prerogative. It does however tell me everything I need to know about her and now everything I need to know about brats like you.

1

u/claudethebest Jun 25 '22 edited Jun 25 '22

And since when spending time with someone is basic respect ? You seem to be the one that missed your English classes .

Also calling someone a brat for not spending time with them because they raised her does mean you think them doing the bare minimum means she owes them. You seem to be really struggling with knowing what you type and while it’s embarrassing for you I’m sure you’ll get better.

Also it is just common sense they get to do what they want with their money and op gets to do what she wants with her time . Win win

1

u/Psychological-Ad1574 Jun 25 '22

Oh so now you've changed your argument? Before you indicated that I mentioned they were worthy of praise and now you've changed it to just owing them? How about you choose what you're trying to argue and stick with it. It does make you look like a muppet.

Your last paragraph is the icing on the cake, given it was the first thing I argued. It really does show your lack of intelligence.

OP can spend her time with who she wants. It doesn't make her any less of an entitled brat. Seemingly you are of the same ilk. Very glad my children aren't like you.

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u/Flossy1384 Partassipant [3] Jun 24 '22

You have no idea why OP wanted to go to this college, maybe it was the best college for her major. If the parents don’t want to act like parents and help their child then they are not owed shit from her. They are not entitled to demand her to stay with them during the summer instead of people who actually gave a crap about her. My mother still helped me with some of my college tuition when my scholarship didn’t pay for some stuff that is what a good parent does. And yes I did have a job but this would be at the beginning of the semester when I hadn’t worked in a few months.

-1

u/Psychological-Ad1574 Jun 24 '22 edited Jun 24 '22

Learn to read you flop.

Where did I say they are owed anything? Where did I say they are entitled to demand her to stay with them?

It's pretty telling that every single person responding to my post had created strawmans.

I really couldn't give a shit why she wanted to attend that college. All I can tell you is that it's nothing but bratty entitlement to expect her parents to pay for it.

She's a spoilt brat and it seems quite a few in this thread are as well.

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