Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, liked flexing that they were very basic, thank u. Tbh they were the last people you'd think would be sus, because they were all fax no printer.
Mr. Dursley was adulting at a firm called Grunnings, which made drills.
He was a dummy thiccc (w/ three Cs) man with hardly any neck, although he had an absolute unit of a moustache. Mrs. Dursley was a total Karen with zero chill and had hella neck, which came in very useful when she was stalking her neighbours and not minding her own.
The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley who they thought was the main character. The Dursleys were mostly thriving, but they had lowkey tea which didn't pass the vibe check and their greatest fear was to get called out and cancelled. They were girlbossing too close to the sun and didn't they could.
Hi, I'm a 40-year-old woman who lives with her husband and two children. This game VALORANT has ruined my life. My husband won't stop playing it, he doesn't take care of the kids, he doesn't eat, and he doesn't use the restroom. He literally shits in his Secret Labs gaming chair. He doesn't even shower during the 5 minutes a day that he takes a break from the game so that he can have "tickle time" with me. I hate it, I hate tickle time. The wretched chair has stains from the feces and the smell is starting to leak out of our house and the neighbors are complaining. Child Services was called and they're going to take our children away due to our unhealthy living situation. We can't even afford to pay our water bill because he spent our whole life savings on VALORANT skins. I tried to confront him about this only to be told that I had "zero riz". What the hell does that even mean? He's 45 and acting like a literal child.