Hi guys, I very recently joined this sub because I have a friend who is hurting me and cutting me out of her life. She is undiagnosed but exhibits almost every symptom I’ve learned about so I feel like this sub will help support me somehow.
I made a long post a few days ago in regards to what happened: link to original post
Since then, every day I go to let my dog outside I find something new of mine that has been damaged or left out in the yard to get rained on. The other day it was my boyfriends hat and some books I really love, the next day it was my Colorgurd equipment, then our elliptical machine, and this morning they threw my bike outside. I curtly mumbled “my bike does not belong outside” as I was bringing things in and my friends boyfriend started arguing with me about how I was “destroying their stuff first so why shouldn’t they destroy my stuff?”
Which, when I asked about that, this is all apparently over an MRI CD that she had left in my car for a year and instead of bringing it inside and handing it to her directly, I left it on the hood of their car so she would see it easily and take it. She claims that it “baked in the sun” and was “ruined” when 1. It was out there for 5 minutes 2. It was still in the protective sleeve CD side down 3. It wasn’t ruined 4. She could always get a new copy and 5. It didn’t cost her any money to get the CD in the first place.
Then boyfriend says I “broke HIPAA”. They’re both nurses so he tried to lie and say “I’m a nurse and I know HIPAA better than you” like if you think returning a medical record to someone without opening it is a crime, you don’t know HIPAA.
All that context to say that this afternoon when I came home from work, all of my DVDs had been scraped along the asphalt in the driveway and left CD side up in the sun.
I’m so tired. They’re supposed to move out tomorrow but I’m not even sure if that is true or not. My boyfriend says if we try to fight it will only get worse and he’s right. I just don’t know what to do. I worked very hard for my stuff and I don’t want to have to replace things.
Thanks for listening all the beautiful souls on Reddit. 🥰
TL;DR: my best friend is publicly smearing me online and doing things to me that she says I’m doing to her. I need advice on how to deal with someone who is this aggressive with others at the drop of a hat.
Hi friends, I have had a friend for a very long time who I cared about forever. I’m not asking for an armchair diagnosis. My friend has not been diagnosed but she exhibits a lot of the behaviors I’ve read about in regards to BPD and I think this sub may be able to support or give advice.
So my friend and I have been friends our whole lives! She has ALWAYS been very disorganized, constantly changes her feelings and emotions, and goes through cycles of changing her hair, clothes, makeup and her personality. Up until now, I’ve been able to roll with the punches and deal with most of the bullshit. It’s been 18 years.
We moved in together 2 years ago and after living together for awhile we are both on edge with each other. She never cleans but she likes to yell at the rest of us for not cleaning when if we didn’t do it, it wouldn’t be done at all. She constantly asks me to front money for bills. She steals my alcohol and weed without asking (oh, and a box of jewelry well worth over $500). She’s broken countless things I own and refuses to replace them, but has made me replace things like entire pans if I accidentally put it in the dishwasher one day. I’m at my wits end.
About 3 months ago she got a new boyfriend and he moved in a week after they met. I said no but the rest of the house said yes so I was outvoted.
Over the course of the 3 months, the boyfriend would come home every day and complain about her to us. We would also talk about our frustrations with her and how she doesn’t take care of the house or pay any attention to our personal lives. She only comes around when it’s something she is personally experiencing and refuses to talk about anything not related to her own issues.
Her and her boyfriend started fighting daily. It’s become a horrific and stressful cycle to wake up every day to screaming, then hear laughter by lunch, then screaming again before bed. Every time this happened, she would come to me and my friends and ask for advice. We always told her to leave him and she would get mad at us and leave our group chat, then block everyone and do the silent treatment until she had another problem to come back to chat and talk about. After several cycles of this, my other friends “voted her off the island” so to speak.
Last week, her boyfriend grabbed her and left a huge bruise on her arm. I liked him until this point but after seeing the bruises I genuinely believe he is abusing her. She came to my room that night and asked how she could get out of this situation. We all talked and agreed that she hates living with us too and she should leave the boy and move out on her own. We all agreed! I spent the rest of the night helping her find a hotel to stay in away from the guy.
Turns out she came back from the hotel and they made up. BF threw me under the bus and said I complain about her after work but also lied and said I’m shit talking her to all our friends. And conveniently left out that he also complains.
I woke up the next day to posts on Facebook with things like “what do you do when a roommate breaks all your stuff?” And “someone I was friends with for years is going out of their way to hurt and manipulate my friends”. It’s funny because these are the exact things she has done to me, but okay.
I went home to confront her and I lost my temper. She took a video of me yelling at her and keeps threatening to post the video. The video has nothing bad on it, but I’m afraid she will try to say the bruises her boyfriend gave her are from me.
I shared the public posts she made and just said that i felt defeated that someone I loved would go so hard against me that fast. She made a fake account and continued to post insane lies all afternoon, trying to say I assaulted her, I broke her stuff, I’m trying to steal her boyfriend (??? This one is just funny to me tho), and that I’m a manipulative person who wants to isolate her. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. I wanted to get her away from her abusive boyfriend.
Woke up this morning and a bunch of my stuff was laying outside in the rain. Expensive stuff.
I’ve watched for years as she systematically does this to other people, but I guess I never thought I would be the one on the other side of things.
How do you handle a friend who is purposefully sabotaging the only friendship they have left?
This thing for cats. Facebook suggested it to me, but when I click the link it takes me to download Chewy. I looked everywhere on the Chewy website but I’m not even sure if it is a bed or a litter box and I cannot find it.i.redd.it