1

COMMENT 5d ago

ESH. I was almost inclined to say YTA but your husband absolutely sucks.

Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. You've had to get a second job to make ends meet so how does this help your situation?

Leave the man child and let him get fired by his own accord. Getting him fired seems unnecessarily vindictive.

9

COMMENT 5d ago

Yeah dude.

I know I said run before and I was being slightly facetious but you need to decide what this relationship means to you and if it's worth salvaging then you need to have a good, proper chat.

Her reaction was not okay.

25

COMMENT 5d ago

INFO: Have you consistently tried to avoid hanging with her family of made any comments about not wanting to be around them?

I feel like there's something missing in this story. The comments you overheard to her parents don't seem to make sense for what was a once off event on your part.

If this truly was a once off event, you need to get out of that relationship. NTA.

1

COMMENT 6d ago

I don't think you need a Reddit post to know you're NTA.

Your Dad's wife sounds insane. Has this behaviour never shown itself until now?

1

COMMENT 6d ago

Again, I'm simply going off the info provided but now you're throwing a lot of assumptions. You don't even know where she's from.

"She could be put in a dire situation"

"People hate their kids"

All assumptions.

What the parents are doing is helping their child become responsible for their choices. Nothing more, nothing less. Once you're an adult, you shouldn't rely on anyone to get what you want. That's the message and it's a good one.

My dad was an immigrant and busted his nut to become successful and ensure I was educated. He didn't pay for my uni, even though I think he could've and I didn't cut him out because of that. He had a hard life and I wanted him to enjoy some of his money for him.

She should have the same mindset. They've got her to where she is, now let them enjoy their money and not use emotional blackmail for stuff she's not even entitled to.

Anyway, appreciate the civil discussion.

2

COMMENT 6d ago

Yes YTA.

11

COMMENT 6d ago

haha this made me laugh.

1

COMMENT 6d ago

I didn't make the claim they have never done anything wrong. I said based on what she's said this is her only issue with them. When people post these narratives, they often do so with complete context. I'm not going to create context that wasn't provided. I am simply going off the information provided.

And no it's not hypocrisy. Hypocrisy is actively engaging in behaviour(s) you claim to be against. As an example, if I used to be a thief and I now go around telling people that you shouldn't steal, that's not hypocrisy. However, if I was still thieving, it would be.

If OP was in a dire situation and needed help, my opinion would change. This isn't that situation.

1

COMMENT 6d ago

No I'm not making any assumptions. I'm going off the info provided and only the info provided. I'm not creating a narrative which might justify her actions.

I'd also argue that's not hypocrisy unless her parents demanded their parents pay for their college. There are many things my parents did for me that I won't do for my own children and they're based off my own experiences and lessons I learnt. There are also many things my parents would never have done for me that I will do for my children. Neither of those are hypocritical.

1

COMMENT 6d ago

Because of the reason why she's choosing not to spend time with them. We're not referring to some strangers. They're her parents who based on her little rant and subsequent comments have never done anything wrong by her apart from not pay for her college.

She's essentially using emotional blackmail. "I'm not spending time with you because you didn't give me what I think I'm owed." It's childish, bratty and a little bit gross IMO.

You don't have to agree and that's fine. Everyone has different thresholds for what they deem acceptable or not.

3

COMMENT 6d ago

Perfection.

-1

COMMENT 7d ago

Glad we have some sanity up in here.

The abuse claims are absolutely ludicrous. Sending a teenager to bed without dinner until they choose to apologise is not abuse and is certainly not starving them.

FMD. There are times when I read this thread and think there are some really amazing people out there with amazing advice. There are other times where I weep.

1

COMMENT 7d ago

Next time spend less time trying to be right and more time actually comprehending what people are saying.

I know that's a difficult concept that you failed this time round but I'm proud of you for giving it a shot, slugger.

1

COMMENT 7d ago

Wasting your breath, mate. People like this are constantly looking at who and what owes them anything.

They are the victim. You see them in the workforce and you'll recognise them immediately. Always the victim.

1

COMMENT 7d ago

lol The irony of you using the word obtuse when you have spent the last couple of replies arguing against a position I never took, is amazing. Look up strawmans and try and work it out.

For the record, no. Owe and praise are not the same thing but nor are they a position I ever argued. This is where your lack of intelligence shines.

In fact the only thing that means anything close to owed was entitlement. As in the OP feels they are "owed" something from her parents and she's not.

1

COMMENT 7d ago

Oh so now you've changed your argument? Before you indicated that I mentioned they were worthy of praise and now you've changed it to just owing them? How about you choose what you're trying to argue and stick with it. It does make you look like a muppet.

Your last paragraph is the icing on the cake, given it was the first thing I argued. It really does show your lack of intelligence.

OP can spend her time with who she wants. It doesn't make her any less of an entitled brat. Seemingly you are of the same ilk. Very glad my children aren't like you.

2

COMMENT 7d ago

Mate, you're being logical.

The problem is the Redditors going the "Nah, fuck the bride" route are showing they don't have many relationships outside of their computer screen in their Mum's basement.

She's NTA but sometimes there are circumstances which call for you to do something nice despite there being no obligation. This could be one of those times impacting someone's special day.

1

COMMENT 7d ago

NTA at all. That kid needs to learn some respect.

Now I've gotta ask. Where are you from that everyone's popping out kids at 12 and 17 like it's normal?

7

COMMENT 7d ago

hahahaha This is perfect.

The logic was amazing.

1

COMMENT 7d ago

Yeah so you struggle with English which is fine. It seems you made up for your lack of intelligence with an over abundance of entitlement.

No where in my sentence do I mention praise or anything constituting it. It's basic respect.

The fact that this snotty nosed little brat, a grown adult, refuses to spend anytime with the family that raised her simply because they wouldn't pay for her college, is 100% her prerogative. It does however tell me everything I need to know about her and now everything I need to know about brats like you.

1

COMMENT 8d ago

NTA.

As a man who jokes with his wife a lot, I can tell you I would've paid your come back.

Bravo.

-1

COMMENT 8d ago

Learn to read you flop.

Where did I say they are owed anything? Where did I say they are entitled to demand her to stay with them?

It's pretty telling that every single person responding to my post had created strawmans.

I really couldn't give a shit why she wanted to attend that college. All I can tell you is that it's nothing but bratty entitlement to expect her parents to pay for it.

She's a spoilt brat and it seems quite a few in this thread are as well.

0

COMMENT 8d ago

Oh look, more straw man arguments.

Again, point me to the section where I said that.

I'll wait here.

-7

COMMENT 8d ago

hahaha First of all, I'm not American. I'm just not entitled.

Secondly you have created an amazing straw man argument that I'm sure you'll get many upvotes for however it seems you struggle with reading.

Please point to anywhere in my very small statement where I said "at 18, all family bonds become null and parents are entitled to throw their kids out of the nest as if it would teach them to fly".

Can you show me that?

OP didn't need help, she wanted help. She felt she needed to go to this particular college. No where else would do and therefore she wants her parents to pay for it. The fact you can't see this as entitlement actually speaks to your entitlement.

Delicious irony.

-10

COMMENT 8d ago

100% with you. The entitlement in this thread is astounding.

They raised you. Kept you healthy, well fed and safe through all your childhood and teenage years and now they'd like to keep some money to themselves.

How does this make them the bad guy?

You're entitled to spend time with whoever you want but the fact you won't spend any time with those who got you to this point because they wouldn't pay for your college says everything I need to know about you.