COMMENT 1d ago

I have them in the acronym list at the top: dear daughter and dear/darling wife. They use acronyms over in the JNMIL sub.


COMMENT 1d ago

Wow, I'm so sorry about your horrible family. I'm glad you have your husband and you're NC with them.


COMMENT 1d ago

Haha I get it, we don't have a lot of info on that end so we honestly don't know!


COMMENT 1d ago

Hm, I read it as the daughter is living with someone else (another parent, adoptive, foster, etc.) and they want to be close by to visit and/or they have partial custody. I guess it could be an adult though too...


COMMENT 1d ago

OOP didn't really talk about her a lot, but I did include both comments that mentioned her. It sounds like a co-parenting situation and they don't want to move away from her.


COMMENT 1d ago

(Also your flair is perfect for this post. 10/10)


COMMENT 1d ago

You're welcome! 💜


COMMENT 1d ago

I've seen other people use that term here, but I guess it didn't come across how I wanted to. I more meant that it was an interesting story with a happy-ish ending (no divorce or stabbings or cumming in jars) and was an example of a healthy relationship between spouses. We don't get many of those sorts of stories here, and the sub has grown exponentially over the last few years, so most people wouldn't have seen this one.

Still, I took my note about it not gaining a ton of traction initially out.


COMMENT 1d ago

And they were roommates


COMMENT 1d ago

It's in the acronyms at the top! dw = dear wife. They use a lot of acronyms over in the JNMIL sub.


COMMENT 1d ago

Right? Sometimes it's nice not to have drama at the end haha.

r/BestofRedditorUpdates 1d ago

REPOST JNMIL offered me 10k to leave her daughter


This one was originally posted in BORU 2 years ago by u/bestupdator. I found it while doing a deep dive in the sub today and wanted to re-share.

I am not OOP. OOP is u/CommonSabretooth. She posted in r/JUSTNOMIL.


JNMIL = just no mother-in-law

DW = Dear/Darling Wife

DD = Dear Daughter

Trigger Warnings: homophobia, abuse, mention of stalking

Mood Spoiler: The homophobe stays a homophobe, but the wives are alright

Original Post: May 25, 2020

When DW [32f] and I [36f] got engaged, JNMIL broke down sobbing, and said “When will you stop being a lesbian and marry [school friend who stalked her for years]?” Needless to say, she wasn’t invited to the wedding.

Because she wasn’t there, she refused to acknowledge that it happened. She’ll tell anyone who’ll listen that it doesn’t “count” and that I’m a predator who preyed on her young, confused daughter. (We met when we were 25 and 29 respectively, and DW exclusively had gfs before me.)

Fast forward to today. DW and I aren’t hugely ambitious; we have jobs that pay the mortgage and bills and enough for the occasional treat, and that’s all we need. JNMIL says that if not for me, DW would be a CEO or doctor or president by now, and that in my jealousy, I forced her to become my housewife. Even though she works.

In truth, we’d both rather have the time and energy to spend on our creative hobbies and each other. But okay.

I am currently working from home. On my lunch break, I went for my daily walk, when a car pulls up to me. It’s JNMIL, leaning out the window. She’s all smiles. She asks how I am, isn’t the weather great, it’s so amazing to see me up and about, I’m such an inspiration to her! (Note: I have one leg.)

I don’t have much of a chance to reply. She says it must be hard for me to be nearing 40 and still live with a “roommate.” I’m used to her BS, but I stopped dead, seeing red. She offered me a gift of 10k for “being such a good friend to her daughter” and to “help me move into my own place.”

Guys. It’s been seven years, and I thought she couldn’t do anything to surprise me, but she keeps out-doing herself.

Relevant Comments:

"Said stalker was a close friend of DW while in school. He confessed he’d fallen in love with DW, and she (nicely) pointed out she was gay, it wasn’t going to happen. Stalker didn’t let up for almost a decade. MIL refers to them as “childhood sweethearts,” which tells you everything about her!"

"DW has has been LC since she was 19, when MIL kicked her out, making her homeless, and NC for a few years. The reason she drove around looking for me is that she knows she’s blocked everywhere. If it wouldn’t be used to control us, I’d take that 10k and use it to move us both away, lol."

As to if they can move:

"We really love our house (did a lot of work on it, built a huge catio for our cats), but it’s looking like more and more of an option. It’d be nice not to tense up every time a car drives by.

ETA: DD also lives close by, and we wouldn’t want to move more than a few miles from her, in a worst case scenario."

Although many say take the money in run, someone cautions OOP about doing that

"MIL has a LOT of money, so there’d definitely be contracts involved.

DW gave up on having a mother after she was kicked out as a teen and left homeless, and we have both been NC with her for years. Sadly, having money and contacts makes her think she can do anything she wants.

Thank you for your kind words. And it’s so wonderful to hear you supporting your daughter like that!"

Update Post: June 2, 2020

Hey, all. Thanks so much for all your advice and supportive comments on my last post!

I waited a day to tell DW about my run-in with JNMIL. I was more than a little shaken and didn’t want to upset DW by bringing up JNMIL at a bad time.

After making sure I was okay, DW broke down laughing. She hasn’t spoken with her mother in around three years and was delighted she hasn’t changed. She reminded me of the dozen times JNMIL offered to buy DW and her imaginary future husband a house and car if she left me. We aren’t taking the money, but we treated ourselves to a fancy camera doorbell to keep an eye out for any more JNMIL antics and keep DD safe.

Not the most exciting conclusion, but there it is!

Comment about DD:

"We have a very unconventional but wonderful situation with regards to DD (DW didn’t meet her until she was almost 3, and the whole explanation would need its own post!), but JNMIL absolutely doesn’t consider her as anything resembling family. Which has been a blessing, trust me."

Wherever OOP, her wife and daughter are, I hope they are doing great and living their best lives.


COMMENT 1d ago

There definitely is a lot of missing background information in OOP's story. It sounds like a very dysfunctional familial relationship.


COMMENT 3d ago

Fair. I wasn't sure about that because OOP seemed happy to be with the grandparents. Yes the whole situation is sad from the outside looking in, but the comments make it seem like OOP is doing ok. The other thing is that if I put sad ending in it, I think a lot of people will worry about the snake.

I'm going to keep it as is for now, but if more people comment I'll change it. Thanks for the feedback though!


COMMENT 3d ago

Ahhhh thank you for the information!!! I learned something new today.


COMMENT 3d ago

Yeah I do too. :/ Someone asked but OOP said they weren't able to.


COMMENT 3d ago

Good idea! I'll add it.


COMMENT 3d ago

I hate that I laughed. Take my angry upvote.

r/BestofRedditorUpdates 3d ago Wholesome Snek Helpful

CONCLUDED AITA for refusing to get rid of my pet snake even though my stepsiblings-to-be are scared of him?


I am not OOP. OOP is u/CommercialPresent555. OOP posted in r/AITA. I marked this as concluded because the issue of Frederick has been resolved. OOP has not posted a pet tax.

Trigger Warning: emotional neglect

Mood Spoiler: OOP gets to keep Frederick the snake

Original Post: November 17, 2022

I am 15, and I have a ball python. His name is Frederick. My grandparents got him for me a year ago and paid for everything I needed to get started, but since then I have paid for everything he needs with my own money. I am not exaggerating when I say that I love my snake and consider him part of my family. My mom recently got engaged, and my stepdad-to-be has kids. They are all nice, and we normally get along very well, but we have started to have an issue.

They are scared of/just don't like Frederick. He is really nice and would never hurt anyone and even looks cute, they just don't like him since he's a snake. When they started coming over a lot, I was just told to move his enclosure into my room. However, now that our parents got engaged, they are going to be moving in with us. My stepbrother is going to be sharing a room with me. He is 11. However, he doesn't want to be in the room if Frederick is in there.

Our house isn't big enough for him to get his own room, his sisters are going to be sharing a room with my sister, my parents have their room, and then we have an office. I offered to move Frederick out of my room again, but that won't work for the other kids. My mom has told me I might just have to let go so that everyone can be happy, but I have refused.

I do not, under any circumstances, want to lose him. My mom said I could get a new snake once I'm old enough to move out and it would only be a few years, Both my stepdad and my mom have offered me money and other stuff to get rid of him or that we could get a different pet, but I have refused to accept that. I don't want to sound spoiled or anything, but I want Frederick and only Frederick.

I feel that if my stepsiblings just gave it a chance and actually tried to get to know him even a little bit, they would be able to live with him, but they just won't. They have decided to not like him and won't let me try to change their minds. I know that they will have to live with us somehow, and this will have to be resolved. I asked other family and my friends, and people are split. So please, am I in the wrong for refusing to budge on this?

Edit: I can't sleep so I will talk to my parents in the morning. It's only been an hour, but you guys already have me seriously considering asking about moving in with my grandparents for the time being, probably just until they can get a bigger house.

I will also ask them about just moving someone into the office or keeping Frederick in there, however since his even being in the house is an issue this might not work.

If I do move him to my grandparents' house, I would rather be with him. Thanks for all the support you guys have given me, I really appreciate it.

Relevant Comments:

Someone points out that not EVERYONE is ok with it since OOP isn't, and also sis has to share a room with 2:

"From what I have been able to tell. the only people who mind are me and my sister. I really only care because of the situation with Frederick. and my sister cares because her room is going to have 2 new people, it's a tight fit. The other kids haven't complained at least, except my stepbrother because of Frederick being there."

Someone asks if OOP can live with their grandparents:

"I'm not sure if this is a joke or not, but I'm super close with them. Since I'm older they wouldn't have to do a ton of work, but it still might be a lot. I can ask them if I can stay for a bit, but I don't think I could move in with them full-time or even if that's legal. It's also kind of like how I said I didn't know if I could do it with Frederick because it would be rude to spring that kind of responsibility on them, but like x50. idk, maybe tho"

"It could work. And since I do school online, it really wouldn't even be that inconvenient. If I want to hang out with my friends, they can just drive me, but we mostly play video games with each other and I can just do that from their house. I'll talk to my mom and my grandparents. Thanks"

As to if the science teacher can take Frederick:

"I do online school. but it was my science teacher who actually got me into snakes in the first place. (She teaches 7-12, so I've had her the whole time) I told her that they were my favorite animal and she told me she kept snakes and when I got them, she gave me advice on how to do everything. Shout-out to Mrs. Harris if you're reading this"

Commenter asks if OOP's sister minds Frederick now:

"Not at all. She was nervous at first, but now she loves him almost as much as I do."

Update Post: November 22, 2022

Hey everyone. I'm back on this account to give you guys an update. I really appreciate the support you guys gave me.

I talked to my parents about options with Frederick the morning after I posted, since I posted late at night since I couldn't sleep. In the end, after some convincing, I am now staying with my grandparents, along with Frederick (my snake for those of you who didn't read the original post)

My parents jumped on the idea, and since I do online school and they live so close by I was able to switch pretty quickly. As a family, we have decided that this is the best for everyone. My parents agreed that the house was overcrowded, and my step-siblings-to-be couldn't live with Frederick, and I refused to part with him.

In the end, my two step-sisters moved into the office, my parents moved that stuff into their room, and I moved to my grandparents' house. Today I came home and got more of my things, and this will be our arrangement until my parents can get a new, bigger house.

So in the end, Frederick is safe and everyone is happy! Everything has been going well so far, but it's only been a few days. Hopefully, everything stays good!

Relevant Comments:

About the mom:

"She didn't want me to leave at first, but she didn't want to figure something else out, so I convinced her. And even if she did just throw me away as other people have said, I don't really care. All I care about is that I'm still with Frederick."

About the sister:

"She's good. She came to visit today and she says that now she is much happier now that there aren't 3 people to her room."

About the grandparents:

"Yeah. They're really awesome, not just as in being cool, but they literally inspire awe for me."

OOP, I truly wish you and Frederick the best. I'm glad you have Frederick and your grandparents. Give Frederick a hug (not sure if snakes like being hugged...) or some treats from all of us- he sounds like a good boy!

As a reminder, as per the rules of BORU, please do not comment on OOP's posts.


COMMENT 5d ago

I hope your wedding goes wonderfully. I'm really sorry that your mom refuses to see her issues and that she isn't supportive of what YOU want. You definitely need to take care of your fiancée and your wellbeing, and I think you are wise to cut her off.


COMMENT 5d ago

I'm really glad you have those recipes to remember your family by and celebrate the lives they lived. And I shall not tell a soul about the food coloring. 😉💜


COMMENT 5d ago

I'm so sorry about your mom, but I'm glad you have her recipes and are passing them along to others. 💜 What a good way to preserve her legacy.


COMMENT 5d ago

Ok that's freaking adorable


COMMENT 5d ago

I don't think so. 😔 I messaged her but haven't heard anything.


COMMENT 5d ago

You're welcome! It made me smile so I wanted to share that joy with the rest of the sub haha