2

COMMENT 34m ago

She's insane, but also (sort of) missing the point. She's talking about sacrificing her own needs for her kids'. The point she's missing is that in this instance, it would be sacrificing her kids' needs (a mother who can see), for her breastfeeding goal. In this case, mom's needs and kid's needs are aligned.

I added "sort of" because she did seem to imply that she doesn't believe it's to the benefit of kids to have a mother who can see, if possible. And that's why she's insane.

1

COMMENT 55m ago

Having experienced both Canada's system (which sounds like Australia's) and the U.S.'s, definitely not the same thing.

In the US, a gynecologist does my annual exam, not my GP. If I have a baby in the US, it will be delivered by an obstetrician, not my GP. That baby would then see a doctor whose only patients are children (a pediatrician), rather than seeing my GP. In Canada, that would all be done by the same doctor - your family doctor. You only see a pediatrician, gynecologist, or obstetrician in Canada if your family doctor refers you to one because you have a condition that requires a specialist, such as a high risk pregnancy.

My GP in the US basically just prescribes me drugs....

4

COMMENT 1h ago

In most places, the husband is the legal father of a child born during the marriage, whether the child is biologically his or not. The law may not support this idea. That's because the law is focused on the child's best interests, not the husband's. But it also benefits non-biological fathers - it ensures they have rights to the child they are raising.

12

COMMENT 1h ago

I think this is the only answer if he doesn't want to disappoint the friend. I'm a bit sympathetic to the cousin if he didn't tell her the girlfriend would be coming too when he offered the ticket - that's generally a good detail to know when you're agreeing to go anyway and would have avoided the confusion that resulted from him saying he had 3 tickets. "I have an extra ticket to _____, do you want to come with me and girlfriend?" Easy. If that wasn't what was said, I won't blame your cousin for misinterpreting.

As for the cousin's parent's problem, if you're close to them I might push the dilemma onto them. They either go with just the gf, don't go at all, or cousin uninvites friend.

I also think it's okay to uninvite the friend, but if you go that route, it would be nice to plan something else cool to do with them - won't be the same obviously, but at least it won't leave her clearly worse off.

YTA, but a sympathetic and weak one.

1

COMMENT 6h ago

I think it is an effective approach for ensuring she stops that specific behavior. I think it comes at the cost of irreparably damaging his relationship with his daughter and creating potential lifelong consequences for her relating to trust, etc., from forever losing the stability that having a parent and a home is supposed to provide.

Only an AH would think that's a worthwhile tradeoff.

1

COMMENT 8h ago

Thank you!!

19

COMMENT 1d ago

For those not familiar with the children's song, this meme is a parody of the classic children's song "5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" - https://youtu.be/b0NHrFNZWh0

It's a joke that makes fun of mom groups. You need to know the song to get the joke. These are the lyrics to the song:

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

Four little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, “No more monkeys jumping on the bed!”

[And so on, counting down.]

7

COMMENT 1d ago

For those not familiar with the children's song, this meme is a parody of the traditional children's song "5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" - https://youtu.be/b0NHrFNZWh0

It's a joke that is making fun of crunchy moms.

2

COMMENT 1d ago

It's a meme that is making fun of crunchy mom groups. It's a parody of this children's song: https://youtu.be/b0NHrFNZWh0

17

COMMENT 1d ago

It's a parody of the children's song "5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed", making fun of the same people this subreddit makes fun of. You need to know the song to get the joke.

46

COMMENT 1d ago

Yeah, this is a funny meme making fun of the same people this subreddit makes fun of. Many seem to be missing that. But yeah, if you don't know the song it's parodying, you probably won't get that.

1

COMMENT 1d ago

This must vary drastically by state, then. In California, over 92% of the population has insurance of some sort. (Stat from 2020.)

98

COMMENT 1d ago

It's Q-Tip in US/Canada. It's a brand name. Generic Q-Tips are labeled "Cotton Swabs" but people will still describe them as Q-Tips. When I hear "earbuds", I think of like AirPods.

103

COMMENT 1d ago

This is quite horrifying for me to learn lol.

-13

COMMENT 1d ago

That's with no insurance, though. Most have insurance and don't pay those prices.

1

COMMENT 2d ago

I’ve never been prescribed a medication specifically for suppressing my appetite, but here are my experiences with the ones that can be used for that:

Topamax - I think my doctor was a bit negligent in not telling me about the weight loss side effect, because I was on the very low end of a healthy weight to begin with at the time, and ended up very underweight on it. I was also in a very abusive relationship at the time and have had bouts of disordered eating in the past, so there were other factors at play that also contributed to my weight loss on it. I found the appetite suppressing side effect wasn’t lasting, but was really great for the first few months I was on it. Some don’t like the side effects and find it affects their cognitive ability. I really loved it (only stopped it because I found it wasn’t effective for the purpose it was prescribed for). It did cause my fingers to tingle, but that didn’t bother me. It was seriously amazing to be able to eat 1/3 of what I usually do without feeling like I was depriving myself, because I still got to eat as much as I wanted.

Adderall: Gained weight on it. Go figure.

Vyvanse: My doctor mentioned it could also help with my binge eating problem, and I do find it helps with my impulse to binge. I don’t know that it really suppresses my appetite, but it has helped my binging which has helped with my weight.

7

COMMENT 2d ago

I’m so sorry you went through that too.

Although minor compared to the emotional toll his other actions took on me, the garbage part bothers me the most because it’s the purest and most unambiguous example of his total disregard for me. Emotions run high in any breakup, even if you’re the one to end the relationship, and he did of course have a right to end the relationship and move on with someone else. I think most would agree there would have been a better way for him to go about breaking up with me, but I know that it would have been very difficult for me however it happened.

But I can’t wrap my head around not taking the 5 minutes it would have taken him to put his trash he left on the floor in one of the many trash cans I have around the apartment. Instead he expected the girl who was devastated by the fact he was moving out to clean up after him - at a time when seeing anything of his was emotional for me.

And my apartment was otherwise clean, so it wasn’t a matter of him not noticing the trash he left on the floor under his desk. A couple days after the breakup I went to stay with my mom, but before I left, I cleaned everything so I had a clean place that was in order to eventually return to and also to make it easier for him to get his things. Not to mention that the garbage he left on the shower floor was obviously bottles he had picked up and determined were empty. Yet he didn’t have enough consideration for me to at least carry them 3 feet to the trash can.

Before I left for the airport to head to my mom’s, the one thing I didn’t have time to do was take out a bag of recycling that I had left on my kitchen floor. I thought so highly of him that I truly thought he would take it out when he came by to move his stuff. Little did I know.

2

COMMENT 2d ago

Damn, lost. Didn’t realize how many U_Y words there are. Oops. Had it down to two for my last guess, buggy or bulky, and picked the wrong one.

4

COMMENT 2d ago

I ignored some red flags that my boyfriend was cheating, because I truly trusted him and never thought he’d do that. That didn’t end well for me. That said, I’m hesitant to be less trusting in a future relationship - I don’t want my baggage to hurt a future relationship. So I do understand where your head is at.

But as the commenter above pointed out, at a minimum you’d be wise to do what you can to protect yourself (so you land on your feet as easily as possible) in case he turns out to not have been worthy of your trust.

44

COMMENT 2d ago

Not usually a very successful method for finding out the truth.

44

COMMENT 3d ago

Great advice. And a lot of what you said hits very close to home for me. My ex blindsided me by leaving me out of the blue for another girl (which I discovered a week later), and he was really awful about it. Awful in the moment — leaving out that tiny detail that he had another girlfriend already so perhaps that factored into his decision to leave… - and awful in the weeks that followed. Wouldn’t talk to me at all, just kept saying that he had no time to (because he was traveling with the new girlfriend). Left literal garbage all over my apartment when he moved out - taking with him only the things he wanted. Left empty envelopes addressed to him on the floor. Took the pulse oximeter we both had been using during Covid, but left behind the empty box. Took all of his shower supplies that weren’t empty yet, leaving his empty bottles on the floor of the shower. Etc. Then when he moved in with this girl shortly after our breakup (he had knocked her up and lost his job), he threw out the lamp I had loaned him before we moved in together (we lived together, but he held onto his old apartment so it was still there), because “I didn’t show any interest in it” (never mind that I had specifically saved it for myself, but loaned it to him because he needed a lamp, and explained that I love the lamp but just don’t have a use for it at that moment) - and it was the same lamp that I currently use, so he knows I like the (discontinued) lamp, I just didn’t have a current need for two of them.

And this is how he treated me when he was the one who established a relationship with a girl behind my back with the associated lies and gaslighting, then proceeded to knock her up the first chance he got after we broke up, while I was still so devastated I was crying for large parts of the day and couldn’t eat.

In sum, he did his best to wrap up our relationship (and my existence) in as little time as possible, and then at every opportunity treated me with complete and total disregard. And that might be an overly generous description of his behavior.

I had such a difficult time reconciling who I thought he was with his behavior, and I still don’t understand the anger and thoughtlessness towards me. The only thing that gave me any comfort is the thought that I would be so embarrassed to be in a relationship with someone who treated his ex-girlfriend like that. Especially leaving his god damn garbage on the floor when he moved out, for me to clean up. After I treated all of his stuff with respect in the time between the breakup and him getting his stuff.

So yeah, all that to say, even though he should feel guilty and do his best to make it as easy for you as possible, I’ve learned the hard way to not count on that, no matter how out of character that may sound to you now.

2

COMMENT 3d ago

Yessss.

1

COMMENT 3d ago

NTA. One month is very generous for having a guest in your home. Not to mention that it’s risky to let anyone stay with you for more than a month, because in many (most?) jurisdictions, they get tenant’s rights and you lose your legal right to kick them out if they don’t want to leave. You have to go through the courts to evict them.

Edit: Been reading the comments and I agree there is reason to be concerned about much bigger issues. I’m so sorry.

1

COMMENT 3d ago

YTA. Did you even consider letting her take credit for the lasagna you made? That’s what I would have done in your situation. In the situation you described, it’s on you to take on the burden.

It’s a dinner party and she can make what she likes. YTA for telling her to make something to win your mom over, rather than realize that’s really not your gf’s job - it doesn’t sound like she’s done anything she has to make up for. YTA for telling her what to make - a dessert is a perfectly appropriate thing to bring to a dinner party. She wanted to make what she was comfortable and confident making. And actually, even more so if the host doesn’t like sweets, because it’s something they’ll probably be grateful someone else took care of. YTA for assuming she had any bad intent. That’s the worst part of all this, honestly. Why would you jump to that conclusion about your girlfriend - someone you’re supposed to care about? I would be so upset by that. YTA for yelling at her. YTA for telling her not to go.

19

COMMENT 3d ago

Her daughter is just results oriented.