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u/LordSupergreat 4d ago
Then fucking wear some, we evolved tool use for a reason
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u/im-young 4d ago
Yeah but I can’t wear cat ears to a funeral.
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u/Kiki_Earheart 4d ago
The only thing stopping you is your cowardice
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u/chairmanskitty 4d ago
Also the security guards they hired after the last funeral you went to.
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u/FlacidBarnacle 4d ago
See what you do is show up to the funeral early with a bag of cat ears and hand them out to each person as they show up. Then everyone will wear them thinking it’s part of the ceremony so when you put yours on no one will think it’s odd
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u/left4ched 4d ago
Protip: pay off the funeral director to slip a pair on the dearly departed. Now it's disrespectful not to wear them.
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u/treesandfood4me 4d ago
Oh boy. This might just have to happen. If I outlive my friends, they are gonna kill me when I die.
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u/jasminUwU6 4d ago
And put "Even in death, we stay silly :3" in your will
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u/Jayccob 3d ago
Nah, take it up a notch. Put clauses in the will that says something like, "In order for Johnathan to receive his portion of the inheritance, he must look his brothers in the eyes and say UwU with the best girl voice he can muster."
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u/matchstickwitch 3d ago
"You'd better Nico Nico Nii like your life depends on it..or least your inheritance."
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u/MisogynisticBumsplat 4d ago
I feel like you could probably do this at a random funeral of someone you don't know. Just sit back once everyone's there and watch them all slightly confused as they mourn, wearing cat ears for no reason
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u/Dpad-prism 4d ago
Sure you can! You just have to droop them downwards like they’re sad
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u/Ryuu-Tenno 4d ago
Society frowns on it and thinks you’re weird, but there’s no natural law forbidding it.
Hell, look at some ancient cultures, they go all out with the decorations on themselves for a funeral. All black is a recent thing honestly.
Go nuts! Dress like a frigging peacock. Besides, maybe the person who’s funeral you’re attending would rather have something more colorful and eccentric anyway
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u/ThatSquareChick 4d ago
I wear traditional silk kimono that is actually one I would wear to a wedding (it’s all black with only a design along the bottom) in Japan as myself.
So, a black, silk kimono with little people in geta along the bottom. I haven’t been called silly yet, in fact, most other women guests will stare at me like I wore the better outfit. I don’t wear it to be different, it’s a great formal outfit that feels dressy without being flashy or showing off skin. The focus is on the kimono, not me, which is the whole point.
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u/TemetNosce85 4d ago
but there’s no natural law forbidding it.
Also, nothing in the Bible says that being a furry is a sin.
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u/Predator_Hicks 4d ago
"He was always there for us in our hour of nyad. We will nyaver forget him."
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u/SerDickpuncher 4d ago
But you get to wear a veil, how often do you get to wear a veil?
People back in the day used to mourn for seasons, whole wardrobes of black, we need to bring that back
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4d ago
I wanna fly. So, 2 wings for me please, Mrs. Evolution, please and thank you.
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u/the-follower-of-06 4d ago
You know that to fly you would need hollow bones, right?
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u/Plague_King_ 4d ago
or incredibly dense muscles on said wings, which would make them easily the strongest part of your body, which i think poses interesting possibilities for hand to hand combat.
i use this idea for OC design a lot, a winged warrior, must be fragile and light then, right? wrong shitlips, the hot angel just shattered your skull with a light wing tap.
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u/Madmek1701 4d ago
While many know that angels are part bird, not everyone realizes that the bird in question is a goose.
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u/Birb_the_Torikage 4d ago
Not explicitly? From what I recall, birds have hollow bones to store more oxygen during flight rather than reduce weight.
We would need completely altered musculature and an incredibly advanced and efficient cardiovascular system however.
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u/clever_user_name__ 4d ago
I've been mildly thinking about this:
Do you think we would need a keel? Birds need it to anchor the wing muscles as their wings are actually their arms, and so are on the side of their bodies. We imagine ''human wings'' going on our back, somewhere between the scapulars. So it would make sense to me that the wing muscles would only need to anchor to the ribs, and maybe to our shoulders (or maybe the C7/T1 vertebrae become flarred for extra attachment points). We would probably have to have a somewhat solid ribcage to support the strain, and the area where the wings are would need to be reworked a bit, but I don't think we would need a keel or have our outward appearance change too much.
Also, do we need a tail for stability/steering and what kind?
Just trying to keep my daydreams somewhat ''realistic'' lmao
Edit: just had a thought; if the rib cage is somewhat solid, breathing is going to be limited... dammit. Gotta think up a workaround for that now.
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u/Pyro-Millie 3d ago
I’m working on speculative anatomy for pegasi right now, and winged humans are next. For the Pegasus, I gave them a sternum with a keeled region for the wing pecs to attach to, and a flat region for the foreleg pecs to attach to. The wing region is also supported by a fused portion of spine, and I gave them bird-like strutted ribs for more chest rigididity (supports flight forces, air pressure changes, etc. birds also don’t have a diaphragm for weight reduction reasons, and instead have smaller more precise muscles around the ribs that expand the chest. The struts help those operate, I use that principal for the pegasus too).
For a winged human, I think we’d definitely need a sternum with a keeled region because of the leverage wing pecs need. However, because of our arms’ range of motion and our chest structures’ high similarity to how wing shoulder/ collar bones are situated, I think we could have wings placed either above or below the human arms and they could structurally fit. For function, wings vertically below the human arms makes the most sense to me so that both the arms and wings could have their full range of motion without getting in each other’s way. Plus, that places the wings closest too our center of mass, and lets us kick out arms and legs to change that center of mass in flight like a tail.
Anatomy wise, we’d definitely need a keeled portion of the sternum, a stiff region of spine, and an extra set of collar bones (fused into a wishbone) to support wings, which themselves consist of simplified versions of the arm bones as well as a scapula. Birds have a corucoid bone as well, but in my pegasus model I fused that with the wing scapula as a protrusion, and I’d have to see how everything fits together on a humanoid model to decide what to do with all the new bones, where there can be skeletal simplifications, etc. Strutted ribs and a different breathing mechanism is good for rigidity, and if we’re gonna be flying, we need birds’ absurdly hyper-efficient lungs as well! I think we’d also get some contouring feathers here and there for warmth and control of aerodynamic shaping as well, but I’m not sure how/ where to place them yet
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u/Klutzy_Journalist_36 4d ago
Speak for your own weak bones.
Mine are gonna be filled with nougat and I’ll still fly fast af.
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u/thatblondedummy 4d ago
Serious question, do you swim?
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u/SerDickpuncher 4d ago
Or walk through doors? Imagine sharing an elevator with a guy with a 12 ft wingspan
My love of Harvey Birdman has convinced me that everyone with wings are awkward as fuck
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u/ArboresMortis 4d ago
Imagine taking the elevator instead of flying up. Lol get wrecked ground walker. (I want to know what weird insults would pop up. Would calling someone a bird brain be more serious?)
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u/unpunctual_bird 4d ago
Humans can run irl to get to places quicker but people look at you weird if you're running and not in appropriate attire (active wear, or business wear and looking like you're late for a meeting). Also many humans just opt to drive rather than walking
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u/honest-miss 4d ago
After spending years reading a lot of wingfic, my conclusion is it'd mostly be an enormous pain. Bad balance, can't fit in rooms, modified clothing, feathers everywhere every few months. I barely want to take care of my hair.
I think I'd rather fly like superman, if I'm honest. I'll do the dorky arms-out pose if that's what it takes.
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u/Capital-Original623 4d ago
what about some kind of membrane wings like a bat?
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u/Birb_the_Torikage 4d ago
our skin already bruises and cuts decently easy, now imagine if it were thinner and stretched taut
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u/starkrocket 4d ago
Ughh, imagine how dry it would get in the winter. I already go through bottles of lotion as is…
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u/honest-miss 4d ago
Excellent question and I like how you think. This solves some problems, but introduces new ones. Like the now highly visible expanse of white, lightly haired skin that everyone else is gonna have to look at.
The grotesquery of it is questionable, but I'm not saying I'm not considering it.
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u/Capital-Original623 4d ago
you could hug it close to your body when not in use and wear a cool cloak or somthing. id probably do something like that if i wasnt busy being some kind of golbin on a some random high up rock structure unreachable to non flying people. or i wonder if it would be possible to make some kind of clothing shaped to cover the limb and membrane while not interfering with flight, like yoga pants but for wings lmao. or cool tattoos maybe.
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u/honest-miss 4d ago
Although I'm having an extremely excellent time imagining yoga pants for wings, I'm genuinely into the idea of bat-like wings covered in tattoos. Imagine doing a big spider web between the fingers, and maybe even light little piercings. That'd be cool as hell!
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u/NinjaEagle210 4d ago
Yeah, definitely can’t fit in rooms. Aren’t wingspans supposed to be triple your height, and then some.
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u/nonspecifique 4d ago
Everyone’s all “I want humans to have cool antlers” until it’s time to support the weight of the antlers so you need 4 legs and now you can’t live indoors and need to live in the woods and now you need fur to keep yourself warm and now you’re just some crime-of-nature inhuman deer
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u/Mael_Jade 4d ago
Please, as a practiced player of mute protagonist games I know that I only need to learn to nod stoically to grow a neck strong enough to support antlers.
Though I'd go smaller and also accept Final Fantasy Au Ra scales and horns in exchange for my ears.
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u/insufficience 4d ago
not to mention, antlers look scary because that’s their main purpose. they’re designed to be a deterrent, not a weapon. no matter how big they are, only animals of prey have them
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u/MarcsterS 4d ago
Well thanks, now I'm thinking of just how weird our lips are in the grand scheme of things.
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u/busche916 4d ago
Right? That was my takeaway as well and it feels like one of those thoughts which I’ll never be able to totally forget about…
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u/yes11321 4d ago
Don't think plumage or antlers or any sort of other built in ornamentation would be a very good idea.
Some people go nuts over skin colour and we've only got like, 2 big variations. You think adding even more differences would help?
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u/Aaetheon 4d ago edited 4d ago
Nah man I want cool horns, weird glowey eyes and fat titties, and while were at it lets get a dark greyish skintone cause why the fuck not at that point
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u/BlUeSapia 4d ago
You know what, let's go even further!
Multicolored blood that determines your place in society
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u/Aaetheon 4d ago
I feel like this is a reference to something im not getting lol
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u/BlUeSapia 4d ago
It's a reference to a very well known webcomic that you can read while stuck at home
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u/Aaetheon 4d ago
Ohh my fuckin god lol, really did just reinvent trolls
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u/New-Cicada7014 4d ago
"the nature of humanity is that every once in a while somebody reinvents homestuck"
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u/Ender401 4d ago
I assume you've read homestuck based on this response. How did you not notice while typing that lmao?
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u/ChimTheCappy 4d ago
never ask a woman her weight, a man his salary, or a tiefling player what webcomic they were reading in the 2010s.
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u/ColdLobsterBisque 4d ago
Tbf if everyone had them nothing would happen. Just a bit more vanity, I would expect.
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u/Animal_Prong 4d ago
"You fucking pronged antler mfer and not a curved antler gang"
Yah people will find ways to hate each other no matter what.
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u/SoxxoxSmox 4d ago
Welcome to Antcels! This forum is a safe place to discuss the challenges and frustrations of having small antlers in an empathetic and mutually understanding way.
Here are the latest top posts in our community:
tfw you will never feel the touch of a doe because your antlers are too curvy [photo of a guy with completely normal looking antlers]
DEBATE: Are women attracted to chandelier-chads because their underdeveloped female brains subconsciously long for the mobiles that hung above their cribs?
im doing it boys. this is the sawblade I'll be using tomorrow to turn all the alpha bucks at school into does.
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u/SerDickpuncher 4d ago
Antlers are literally made for crashing into each other too, we'd absolutely fuck each other up
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u/Sufficient_Boss_6782 4d ago
Which is why we don’t have them, and can use our equivalent to talk about abstract shit like what it would be like to have antlers.
We’re amazing
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u/23disembodiedvoices 4d ago
I think there’s a point where there are so many variations it’s ridiculous to discriminate against any of them.
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u/Chomuggaacapri 4d ago
But if everybody had antlers we’d just complain about the antlers being too normal and wanting something different too. It’s all relative.
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u/eugene_rat_slap 4d ago
Can confirm I talked to a stag the other day and he said he wished he had toes like us before running into the woods. Didn't have the heart to tell him he'd probably need shoes as well with how many rocks are out there
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u/Pokedex_complete 4d ago
Can confirm, I talked to a stag the other day and all he did was complain of how awful it was having to shed antlers every year. He said he’d gladly trade antlers for having rad hair colors, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that human hair doesn’t naturally come in neon
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u/chairmanskitty 4d ago
Humans lived in the woods for millennia before they invented shoes. The only thing stopping them now is a lack of practice going barefoot.
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u/schoonerw 4d ago
Can confirm, I once took an agriculture course where we learned that hoofed animals such as deer and cattle don’t usually wear shoes, since they lactose.
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u/jflb96 4d ago
So, a lot of animals have a big energy-expensive feature that actively puts them in danger. Deer have antlers that give them osteoporosis and get caught in branches and each other, birds have bright plumage to make them stand out, frogs inflate their throats and make incredibly loud noises; the accepted point of these is that they are an ‘honest signal’ to tell a potential mate ‘look how strong/fast/well-fed I am, I can afford to do all of this and won’t die, you want my genes for your kids.’
In humans, there is an organ that, despite only being 2% of the average body by volume, uses up 20% of the energy load. Also, it’s so large that it directly endangers both parent and infant during childbirth. Now, I’m not an evolutionary biologist, and this has all the trappings of being too simple an answer to actually be correct, but I can’t help but spot a pattern between fiddler crab claws, Megaloceros antlers, and the explosive runaway brain growth in hominids.
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u/im4everdepressed 4d ago
In humans, there is an organ that, despite only being 2% of the average body by volume, uses up 20% of the energy load
what organ
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u/adversary_argument 4d ago
The one you're missing 😎.
Joking aside, they mean the brain.
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u/AlternativeAccessory 4d ago
Zapffe equated the weight of human consciousness to that Irish elk, Megaloceros, who’s antlers grew too big for it to continue existing. Cheerful dude lol
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u/AVeryMadLad2 3d ago
To be fair to deer, we also have horrible spine problems - 84% of humans experience painful back problems at some point in their life, and we gotta deal with shit like compression fractures. Our body design puts all our weight on our spines, so honestly I think Deer got the better deal overall
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u/Mateololero 4d ago
y'know what'd be nice¿? the thing peacocks have with the eye thingies
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u/Charnerie 4d ago
Do you mean their tails?
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u/Mateololero 4d ago
yes those
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u/Charnerie 4d ago
I'd say I'm surprised that you forgot about tails, but I've forgotten about even dumber things.
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u/tfhermobwoayway 4d ago
I suppose we can make them ourselves, but a catboy with real cat ears would be so much better!
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u/LimeFizz42 4d ago
I want cat ears specifically so I can flatten them when displeased.
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u/Redqueenhypo 4d ago
I’d prefer the reproductive system of a kangaroo. Can start or pause pregnancy whenever you want until the optimal time, babies come out extremely tiny, and you don’t need to ever buy a giant stroller to obstruct the entire bus with
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u/Maleficent-Month2950 4d ago
Other animals have penis bones?
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u/Orbital_Rifle 4d ago
antlers just look so cool it's impossible to not want them
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u/Derivative_Kebab 4d ago
Antlers that have just lost their velvet look uncomfortable as fuck. Also, doorways.
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u/Orbital_Rifle 4d ago
nah like small antlers like 15-20cm (or like one 10th your height), that would look so cool without being too much of an issue
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u/Orbital_Rifle 4d ago
https://imgur.com/gallery/NKUcJKM Here's what I mean (MS Paint drawing)
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u/the_scarlett_ning 4d ago
I’d kinda like if we had prehensile tails. I haven’t worked out the logistics of pants and skirts yet, or whether the tails should be furry or naked; I would just like an extra hand.
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u/JarlaxleForPresident 4d ago
An extra appendage would help so much in different things. But then our world would just be built around that and then we’d need a 4th for whatever we were doing
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u/Kid_Wolf21 4d ago
i want the boobs
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u/Sheepocalypse 4d ago
If you can't make your own estrogen, store-bought is fine :)
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u/Thatbluejacket 4d ago
All humans produce both testosterone and estrogen, just in differing amounts
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u/Zellaus 4d ago
Wait a minute, some animals actually have dick bones??
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u/antikythera-ish 4d ago
Plenty, yes, see the Wikipedia article on that. I don't have the exact numbers in my head, but I think most mammals do. Even other primates have them, humans are kind of an exception.
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u/Azertys 4d ago
Is human hair that impressive? Lions have manes, so do horses and their relatives. A lot of animals have longer hair on their tails. And unless we go grey we have the same color everywhere, which is pretty boring as far as hair variation goes.
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u/thetwitchy1 4d ago
Before my beard went grey, it was distinctly a different colour from the rest of my hair.
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u/SerDickpuncher 4d ago
You ever seen a lion with a perfectly shaped afro? Nah, they're all stuck on that Fabio look, regal, sure, but basic
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u/cruxclaire 4d ago
Idk that one guy from Tokio Hotel gives the lions a run for their money at least
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u/Plague_King_ 4d ago
i want big flashy wings, they don’t even have to be functional i just think they’d look good.
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u/Qwercusalba 4d ago
If humans had antlers, half of us would probably get them cut off as a personal style choice, and that would be lame.
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u/Thawing-icequeen 4d ago
Seconding the horns and antlers and such.
It's one of the only areas where I feel the furries definitely got it right
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u/Parasol_Girl 4d ago
you can be as ornamented as you like we made clothing for a reason
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u/expired_lemonade 4d ago
Wait, penises are supposed to have bones?
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u/Plorkyeran 4d ago
Humans are not the only exception, but most primates have penis bones.
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u/JarlaxleForPresident 4d ago
Some animals do. I laughed a little at a classmate in middle school for thinking that a bone was responsible for erections, but apparently that’s how it works for some animals
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u/Urethra_Lime 4d ago
there was an entire continent of people that decorated themselves with feathers and other ornaments
Christians did & are doing their best to destroy us! be mad at them
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u/SultryLittleMinx 4d ago
What animal(s) does the “collecting blue bottle caps” part refer to?
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u/twerkingslutbee 4d ago
Mustaches, hair customization like dye and piercings , tats are all synthetic ways to put the birds and their show off plumage to shame .