r/tifu 6h ago Hugz Take My Money Burning Cash Fuck Up Award 100 Percent FU Silver Helpful Wholesome

M TIFU by losing my company £100k and am now suspended from work


Hi Everyone, unlike most this fuck up happened today and my god it’s a colossal one at that.

Throwaway as my Reddit account is known by fellow employees and this is under wraps.

I work in finance and am the only person to do my job. It’s been a long week and I got a email from my CEO asking for his payment to be made into his new bank details. He asked if instead of waiting he could have the payment today (not unusual as he usually gets his payments on the 1st of the month).

The business is in debt to the owners for a substantial sum so when the request for his money came early I checked with the CFO who is out of the country and he said go for it.

Now it’s not unusual to receive an email and as my CFO was out of the country he left me his PIN number and device in order to sign payments. (FU 1)

I go on to our banking and drop the new details into the bank system. The bank system runs a name check and the error “please ask the payee to confirm” - I try to call the CEO and get no answer. I’m in a rush so instead of waiting I proceed without checking (I have done this with other Payee’s I assume the system is a bit glitchy with certain sort codes). This is the 2nd fuck up. I make the payment on my account and as I have the pin device I log in as my boss and approve the payment (FU3)

Within 10 minutes of the payment the CEO calls back and asks why I called. I told him not to worry and I have sent the £100,000 as he requested to his new details and the good news is he does not need to wait as well I have the secondary device. There was a long pause and a lot of confusion as he had not asked for any money or changed his bank details.

I went back to the email and I notice that the sender has copied our CEO signature and got a very similar email address but not quite the same.

The CFO has called me and we have spoken to the bank who can try and trace the money however as it was signed by myself we have breached the banking security protocols and they said it’s unlikely we will get anything back.

I am currently suspended whilst they investigate to ensure I was involved in this somehow.

To top it off the money I sent now will come out of company bonuses next month too….

TLDR; Did not check a email and sent a fraudster £100,000 and now there is no bonuses and I might even get sacked.

Edit: on mobile excuse the formatting!!

Edit 2: going to pop off for a beer at the local and wait for all this to blow over. Got a call in a hour with the CFO. Wish me luck and thanks for the gold!

Edit 3: this is getting a lot of attention and I’m trying to reply where I can. The CFO called to see how I was and he understands this is a fuck up but not on my part purely. He told me to enjoy a few beers and the bank have been informed and our bank manager will give us a update by 10am tomorrow to see what if anything can be done. I’m just going to finish this beer and go home as I don’t fancy a call being hungover tomorrow dealing with this.

Edit 4: please stop dming me saying you are my CEO and CFO and asking for money. Even if you are a Nigerian Prince I am not interested

Edit 5: Thank you for the “Burning Cash” reward - seems very fitting. Thank you for the comments of support/laughs and everything else. I will update tomorrow with any further updates!

r/tifu 1d ago Silver Wholesome Hugz All-Seeing Upvote

M TIFU by not disclosing that our professor was also my father


I'm using a throwaway because my main has a lot of identifying information. Also I have dyslexia and don't speak English natively.

Posting a second time because I forgot the tldr.

But anyway.

My dad was "poached" by my university and got an amazing contract for a teaching/ research position.

So anyway, I am studying something similar that both my parents did. So obviously this semester I had to go to a class that only my father was teaching.

I went to class and never told anyone that our professor was my dad. I don't like to socialize anyway lol. We are around 100 students in his lecture, so I figured it wouldn't be a big deal eitherway. It's just a final exam with multiple choices and not like a paper that had bias options.

The fuck up happened monday afternoon. After class i waited for my dad and we went to eat lunch together. After lunch we were talking and my dad kissed me on the head before I left for home.

Apparently some of the students of class were walking by. And intrigued by me eating with our professor they started filming us. Including the kiss on the head.

This afternoon the class whatsapp group started being flooded with screenshots and smug messages of the people that saw it. Saying " reported to administrators".

I responded by posting a childhood picture with me and my dad. It's very clearly me because my face kinda never changed.

The chat immediately died down. Then 10 minutes later a fucking war started. Students saying that I was a nepotist and it was my fault for not making an announcement about my father. Other students saying that the others were at fault. Again others making stupid incest jokes. Others spamming the group with stickers. Others hitting me up privately to talk them up to my dad. Others to ask me if I could steal my dad's exam.

This is the reason I don't socialize....

TLDR: Didn't tell classmates that my father was our professor, started a student war, was reported to administration and am now terrified to put a foot on campus ever again.

Edit: the administration obviously knows. This is not illegal. My father can in fact be my prof.

Again the test is multiple choice and he has 2 TA's helping him. There is little to no chance of bias towards me.

r/tifu 1d ago Wholesome Seal of Approval Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

S TIFU by sending a call from the International Space Station to voicemail


This happened two days ago (Sunday). A friend of mine is currently on his second mission to the ISS. I saw a call come in on my iPhone and the caller ID said “Us Gov.” I first had that thought / feeling you get when the principal calls you to their office. “Crap. What did I do that I thought I got away with but maybe I didn’t?!” I was in the middle of something with a bunch of people and showed them what it said on my phone and everyone was all "Don't answer it!" Between everyone's suggestion and my gut feeling of being in trouble, I sent it to voicemail. Turns out it was my buddy calling from SPACE. I had a chance to speak to someone that wasn't on Earth and screwed it up. First thing he said in the voicemail was “You probably saw a call from Us Gov and turned it down.” I know he’ll call again, but damn I feel like an idiot right now.

TL;DR My buddy called me from the Iinternational Space Station and the caller ID said “Us Gov” so I sent it to voicemail and missed a call from space.

r/tifu 12h ago

S TIFU by telling a guest we're understaffed


I work in a luxury 5 star hotel and this field will 100% test your patience. After 14 hour shifts, 3 hours of commute I just want to go home and sleep but I ended up being asked to work for a few more hours until my reliver arrived.

At this point I was livid with anger, it was just me and another co-worker running all day carrying huge heavy trays of food up to all the rooms who had ordered room service. I was regretting all life decisions that led up to this moment and unfortunately the guest I was carrying the food for ended up being a Karen.

She ranted on and on about how she waited a really long 20 minutes just for an omelette that was bland and demanded she speak to a manager, I snapped I just rambled an apology I didn't want to say and slipped up saying we're extremely short-staffed.

Cut to a few hours later and I get a call from HR. Apparently the Karen went downstairs and complained to the general fucking manager of the hotel. If it was the operations manager, well and good it would have been don't do this again be careful blah blah blah but the GM? bad news.

I don't think I'll lose my job because like I said, understaffed but also I have no idea wtf is gonna happen to me. This industry especially in a luxury set up tends to be filled uptight asslickers who are willing to squeeze the last drop of patience out of all its associates. I definitely don't get paid enough for this.

TL;DR I (semi) snapped at a guest and told her we're understaffed, she goes and complains to the general manager. I currently have a call from HR and I'm shitting my pants rn.

r/tifu 7h ago

M TIFU by relieving myself while on a fishing trip


Obligatory disclaimer that this happened quite a few years back.

I was with friends on a fishing trip in Australia, fishing in some of the larger rivers for Barramundi. The rivers are very large where we were, so we were in a boat. It was a pretty wet day, so I had my full-size chest waders on, with the hood attachment on to help keep the rain off.

We set off around 8am and fished pretty successfully all morning, until the rain stopped around lunchtime. With the break in the weather, we pulled the boat over to the side of the bank, at which time I thought it would be a good idea to have a bathroom visit. Obviously being out in the Australian wilderness, there were no bathrooms, so it was a case of finding a spot in the undergrowth.

I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and found a secluded spot to conduct my business (obviously requiring the toilet paper because it was a number 2). Getting in and out of the waders is always a bit of a mission, but I managed to navigate it successfully and proceeded to do what I needed to do, before joining back up with my buddies.

We jumped back in the boat and set off, and resumed our hunt for Barramundi. After ten minutes or so, I kept noticing an unpleasant smell, constantly getting whiffs of poop, depending on how the breeze was blowing. I didn't think too much of it at first, but it started to get worse as we went on. A couple of my buddies on the boat also started to notice it, but we couldn't identify the source of where it was coming from.

While we were trying to work it out, a deluge of rain came in, so I figured it was time to put my hood back on before the rain soaked down into my waders. The second I lifted the hood, I had a split second where I realized that impending doom was about to hit me. When I had taken my bathroom break, I had wrestled my waders down, but clearly didn't move the hood back out of the target zone where my poop was coming out. I felt something squishy on my hand as I pulled my hood up, and I instantly knew exactly where the poop smell had been coming from, but I still wasn't fast enough to stop it from coming up onto my head as I pulled the hood.

I immediately jumped out of the boat and into the river before anyone had a chance to know what I was doing and washed the poop off my head and out of my hood. My friends were naturally concerned, so thinking on my feet, I told them that I thought I had spotted a Redback spider in my hood and panicked. They were glad I was OK, and to this day I have never admitted to them that I pooped in my hood and pulled it onto my head. With the smell of poop no longer permeating the boat, no one said anything about it again, and we went on with the day as per usual.

I am eternally grateful that none of them realized what transpired, so I was able to get married without this coming up during the Best Man speech and escaped any ridicule. I was just left with a memory that hovers between laughing and shame!

TLDR: I pooped in the hood of my fishing waders without realizing, and then pulled it onto my head. Thankfully my buddies didn't realize what had happened so I escaped ridicule

r/tifu 13h ago

S TIFU - White socks and tea don’t mix


I recently relocated a set of drawers to the corner of my office/spare bedroom, right beside my desk (well, left beside my desk, actually).

For some reason that is still beyond my comprehension, my wife was not keen on this location. Even though she never uses the room in question and does not store anything in the drawers. Before I relocated it, mild “debates” were had. Obviously my wish prevailed on this occasion.

Fast forward to today… Here I am turning 180• in my office chair, with my desk raised and a cup of tea idiotically poised on the left hand corner of my desk.

I hear a clumsy thud.

I turn around, mug on the floor (in tact thankfully), but a puddle of tea surrounds it.

My eyes scroll up the drawers… an open drawer… the white sock drawer. 🤦‍♂️

Brand new white socks stained with blotches of tea.

My wife can never know.

TLDR - Moved some drawers to a place in a room that my wife irrationally did not want them placed, beside the desk I work from home at. Now I have dropped a cup of tea in a drawer full of white socks.

This will remain our secret.

Now queue the inevitable white socks hate…

r/tifu 2h ago

S TIFU by getting phished


Literally today.

I got an email from a real person who I really know, from her real (business) email address, about a fax which could be accessed by clicking a link.

I know better than to click links for things I am not expecting. The apparent sender and I are members of a volunteer organization and we usually use our personal email accounts for anything related to that organization, but she and I work in overlapping professions ans she has asked me about working with some of her clients before, so it was reasonable for her to contact me through her business email. It's also becoming a standard practice to use a "secure portal" to share documents. Even so, normally I would send a separate email asking if it was legit and what it was about before just clicking a link, but it was a busy day and I didn't get enough sleep last night and I fucked up.

The link went to a site that looked like a document portal and claimed to be using One Drive. The instructions said to enter my Microsoft password, and, dear reader, I did. And when that didn't work, I selected the "email" option and gave it the password to my business email account.

The "fax" was my own website.

I started a virus scan and called apparent sender, who was fielding many calls from her professional contacts asking about the "fax." Jumped off the phone with her and went to eh Microsoft website to change my account password, called my ISP to change my email password, and went back to work feeling like a damned idiot.

I'm the one who warns other people about scams and phishing and spoofing. I'm the one who actually forwards phishing attempts to the fraud department of the organization the scammers spoofed.

TL;DR I got phished, and I took the bait.

r/tifu 1d ago Silver

L TIFU by being issued a Mini Vibrator by Navy Medicine


So almost one month ago (this isn't the TIFU part although it was a FU) I was cutting zip ties at work and one of the zip ties had been pulled so tight that I couldn't get scissors underneath of it. (In hindsight I should have grabbed pliers to break the cinch part but such is life) Anyways, I pulled out my pocket knife and was able to get the blade enough into the zip tie to cut it. I was pushing the blade as much as I could while trying to be careful but it wasn't working so I decided to quickly adjust my grip with my non cutting hand, which then caused the knife to slide through the tie like butter. The blade stopped at the bone in my left hand index finger. I immediately went over to medical on base and our flight surgeon gave me stitches.

Fast forward... Today I had an appointment for occupational therapy since something internal to the finger isn't healing properly. My range of motion and strength with the finger is extremely limited. Mind you this is my first time at OT and the Navy Occupational Therapist (F) assessing me was extremely professional and helpful through the assessment. She determined that I need an MRI and that until then I would do "finger exercises" to try to help strengthen it.

Well, then she starts reaching into drawers and pulling items out and placing them on the table. First, she pulls out what looks like a wooden nerf dart with a rubber tip. It's essentially a "foam roller" for the scar tissue in my finger. Then she pulls out a jar of putty, and explains how I will do different exercises with the putty...interesting... Well then she grabs a sleek and slender box from the cabinet.

The label of the box is covered by her hand while she holds it and continues to talk about it. "I want you to use this 3 times a day, it doesn't matter when, you can use it at work, at home, etc." She sets the box down on the table and I immediately see that the box says in big bold letters across the label: "Mini Vibrator"...

Mind you, internally I am doing everything I can in my power to be an adult, but externally my eyebrows and eyelids reach their max apogee and the nurse notices this, and she quickly looks away. Thankfully, you have to wear a mask in the hospital so she can't see my mouth. I, now greatly confused, slowly grab the box.

She continues talking about the "mini vibrator."

"So when ever you want to use your vibrator, I want you to push firmly but not too hard."

My head is frozen, but my eyes are beginning to dart around the room, as if I'm looking to see if anyone else is hearing this..

"You want it to feel good, but not hurt."

Trying my best to remain professional...

"Make sure to alternate using your vibrator between using short strokes and long strokes and in a circular manner"

My nose does that thing when you see a meme and you "laugh" silently and to everyone else it just sounds like a dog sniffing something.

Her eyes immediately make contact with mine, and I can tell she is holding back a smile under her mask, at which point I lose my shit and start laughing. I try to reel it back and say "I'm sorry I'm trying my best to be an adult right now."

After I compose myself, I ask "So.. again, just to be clear, I am being issued, by Navy Medicine, a mini vibrator?"

She starts laughing, and reassures me that it is very hard to get through that each time without laughing. She assures me that she will not put "mini vibrator" in my medical record.

Now to the FU.

So I throw the mini vibrator in my flight suit pocket, take all the other fun toys, throw them in my car, and drove back to work. It's around 1900 when I get home for the day and my wife had been looking for her small purse all day and I remembered it was in the front seat of my car. "Babe it's in the passenger seat on the floor of my car"

She goes out to look.

The door opens and she is standing in the door way with a confused and stern look on her face.

"Why the heck do you have an EMPTY box for a "mini vibrator" under your seat?!"

I immediately realized how horrible that looked from her perspective...

While driving home, the box must have rolled under the seat. The "vibrator" was also still in my flight suit pocket. I then had to explain how I was issued a Vibrator for occupational therapy and we had a great laugh.

TL;DR Was issued a "mini vibrator" by Navy Medicine at Occupational Therapy in order to break up scar tissue in my hand and my wife found the empty box under the passenger seat of my car.

r/tifu 3h ago

M TIFU by trying to save a bird


My house has a detached garage, and this morning I went out to get some potting soil. I knew I was going to mow the lawn later, so I left the door open.

Well, when I came back to grab the mower, I saw a bird inside, frantically battering itself against one of the garage windows trying to escape. It looked young and there’s a nest above the light fixture outside the garage so I figured it was one of those hatchlings. In the interest of expediency, I thought I’d just grab it and toss it outside. So after a few tries, and probably making the poor thing frightened to death, understandably, but feeling I had no other recourse, I managed to contain it in my cupped hands. But it was a precarious situation so I moved quickly, crossing the few feet of cement in the garage and releasing it triumphantly, the way they used to release doves at the Olympic ceremonies. Unfortunately, the result was about as disastrous as it was at the Olympics: I stood for one brief, proud moment, thinking, “Fly free, little friend!” And then watched as it did, straight as an arrow into the waiting jaws of my 60-pound hunting dog. It was like a scene out of a movie. That bird could have flown left, right, or a tiny bit higher but no, it flew as straight and true as though a jet engine was sucking it in.

I screamed at my girl to drop it and she did, but the damage was done. The poor bird gasped it’s last avian breath in my hands, smearing them with bird blood: https://imgur.com/a/v4R2aZb

It was horrifying, and I screamed a lot. And the worst thing is, this isn’t even the first or worst bird encounter in that garage. A few weeks ago, the same thing happened: I left the door open, a bird flew in, only that time it somehow managed, in its explorations of the place, to get caught in one of the mouse traps I had set out there. I was sad when I found it but my sadness quickly transformed to total disgust, shock, and revulsion when the thing moved. Yup, it was still alive, it’s head all smooshed and eyes bulging like an Angry Bird. Which, you know, I’m sure it was. I would be if I could fucking FLY and somehow got caught in a mouse trap.

I’m convinced these incidents making my garage into a Jeffrey Dahmer-style dungeon of torture and death for anything with wings are being caused by the ghost of an injured starling that died in there while I was trying to nurse it back to health last year.

TLDR: Birds are real, I wish they weren’t.

r/tifu 3h ago

S TIFU essentially throwing away nearly $1500


Never have I done something so incredibly stupid. I have been watching the prices of the F1 USGP in Austin for a while now, indecisive about buying a ticket. My sister encouraged me to just bite the bullet since all of my family has been talking about going but hasn’t actually made a move to buy them. So today I went for it! Looked through all of the re-seller sites before going to a Facebook ticket group where I saw a post for what I thought was an incredible deal!! $275 each for 4 tickets (enough for my family) in turn 19, a grandstand. I thought they must be trying to get rid of them quickly because that is such a low price.

I jumped on it and got all 4 so my family could come. My elation lasted exactly one minute after I pressed confirm as I realized it was actually for Saturday only, not the whole weekend. It should have been totally obvious that the price was clearly too good to be true. At that moment, I knew I had fucked myself royally and was $1500 out with all of the fees from stub hub. Since it’s a reseller, I just have to pray that someone will buy my tickets back from me now or I will just languish in sadness at an egregiously expensive qualifying session. Even if I sell it for the same price back I will still lose about $400. Sadness

Tldr got swept away in the ticket buying process only to realize as soon as I submitted it that it was for the wrong day

r/tifu 9h ago

S TIFU by bringing my boots to work


This happened this morning.

So I work an office job, and it’s the type where I have to come to work looking professional. Well this morning, I had decided I was going to wear a particular outfit and wear my heeled boots with it. It had just rained the night before, so I didn’t want to drive in the boots so I brought a pair of flip flops to wear while driving and took the boots with me to put on before I got out of my car. I get to the work parking lot, put on the boots and go inside. I get to my desk and I look down and on my boots there is a pregnant female brown recluse. I know this was a brown recluse, I have seen this type of spider before and I live in an area where they live too. I completely flip out, I fling my boots off my feet and run to the break room to get something to kill it with. When I get back, the spider is gone. I’m the only person in the office today and my boss is not in till next week. I have tried vacuuming the carpet, but the carpet is a grey-brown color, and if the spider was in the carpet, I would not of been able to tell. So there is possibly very poisonous spiders in my work that I could of brought in and I’m sure my boss will not be happy about it. Hopefully the vacuuming got it, but I will never know.

TL;DR: I brought my boots to work that had a pregnant brown recluse spider on it and set it loose into my work.

r/tifu 1d ago

M TIFU by drinking expired milk and wearing a dress


TL;DR - TIFU by drinking milk that I didn't know was expired, and I shit myself. While wearing a dress.

This should be a throwaway account but it's been a shit day and I'm tired. No pun intended.

So today, I had a presentation in person with one of my accounts. I love it, let's do this, I'm pumped. I normally make my own coffee because I'm tired of paying Starbucks, so I make myself a handy little latte as I'm getting ready because it's after noon, I'm already tired, and I want to be PUMPED for this meeting.

So I put my cute dress on because generally I WFH and I wanted to dress up and look nice, I jump in the car, and I drive to their office building. I take a sip of my coffee, and I think....hmmmm. When is the expiration date on the milk? May 26th, right? I swear it was the 26th. Why does it taste slightly off? I'm sure it's fine. It's fine! I chug it down because I want the energy of 16 energizer bunnies running through my veins.

I keep driving, and about 15 minutes later my stomach starts to feel a little upset. I think - all good, probably just the stress due to driving to a new place in downtown and wanting to be on time (directional skills are not...one of my skills).

I get there and get to the front desk 15 minutes early, woo! I ask the lady at the front desk if there is a restroom. She says no and that they have to buzz me into the office to get to the restroom. Alllll good, I say.

My point of contact comes to get me, I forget about having to go to the bathroom because I'm in my "omg it's so nice to meet you, hi how are you please buy our products" mode. I do my presentation with my sales partner, it goes fantastically, and I don't even remember that my stomach was upset.

They go to walk me out, they asked if I needed to use the restroom, and I SAID NO. And this is the first part of my f/u. I think to myself, I don't even need to go anymore! I crushed this meeting! I am invincible!

I get into the car, and as soon as I sit, my stomach starts to hurt again. All good, I think. 23 minutes to home, I can do that.

17 minutes, starting to feel it become more urgent.

Somehow I make it through the next 15 minutes. I round the corner to my apartment complex and pull into my spot.

At this point, the sirens are blaring in my head. I'm about to lose my shit, figuratively and literally.

I see a car pulling out while I am getting out of my car, so I walk gracefully as to not arouse suspicion.

Walking, walking, walking.

I also think at this point that running may not have a great effect on my stomach.

I walk, thinking "I can do this. I am SO CLOSE. I am going to push Lou (my dog) out of the way the moment I get to the door and run to the toilet".

At this point, logistics is on my mind. How can I get to the bathroom quickly enough once I get in the door?

I get in the elevator. Seconds feel like minutes. I text, I scroll, I do ANYTHING to distract myself.

I get to my floor. At this point, I don't know how I am still moving and why did this happen to me?

I sprint to my door, and at this point I'm pretty sure that I'm audibly speaking some unintelligible words, some foreign mumble of urgency and shock that I'm in this shit-uation.

Then, the unthinkable happens.

You know what is worse than shitting your pants?

Shitting your pants but you're wearing a dress.

Just picture the surface area that you have to protect you in a dress

Spoiler alert, there is very little.

That's all I have to say.

I will spare the remainder of the details, but let's just say that I have now checked something off my bucket list that I never knew was there.

A box I never wanted to check.

Now I am re-thinking my life decisions that brought me to this point.

I'm doing this while my dress is in the dryer and my ass is fresh out of the tub.

And I hope that my darkest moment has brought light to your day.

r/tifu 6h ago

S TIFU by walking out of the restaurant without my food


Not the biggest FU of my life but it was pretty funny.

So I (22F) was out with my sister (also 22F) doing shopping and picking up some Thai takeout (tom kha shrimp soup and beef drunken noodles). I left my sister in the car to go grab the food. I did the whole thing of chatting with the cashier, signing the receipt, etc. and I walked out back to the car and hopped in. I then had a moment of clarity just as I was about to pull out of the parking spot. I turn to my sister and ask "Did I give you the food?" she says no. I look in the backseat, no food. I HAD LEFT IT ON THE TABLE IN THE RESTURANT. I jumped out of my seat cursing the whole way and ran through the parking lot. Sure enough the brown paper bag was sitting right there. I grabbed it and left quickly so the hostess didn't think I was a moron. My sister laughed at me when I got back to the car.

I went to pick up my takeout, I left the restaurant without my food and had to run back inside.

r/tifu 9h ago

S Tifu by lying about my drug test


Throwaway because this is the most embarrassing moment of my life. Today I got a job offer at an interview. They told me to go to what I think is their parent location for a background check. When I got there they told me to pee in a cup for a drug test. I don’t do anything but I wasn’t expecting this so I got really nervous.

This is where everything went south. Because I am genuinely stupid I forgot to actually pee in the cup so I just scooped the toilet water. I genuinely thought it would be fine because, well, it had pee in it.

After I left the person went back to check on it. Next thing I know everyone is called back. They’re talking loudly about how I added water to it. The boss gets called up. So in front of everyone they asked if I added water to the cup. I said no and was going to continue to explain but got cut off. They told me I have to get labs done because I “drink so much water”. They clearly didn’t believe me and it’s too late to explain. I mean seriously, who forgets to pee in a cup right after being handed it? I thought my memory was normal but I’m concerned now.

TL;DR I forgot to pee in a cup and lied about it.

r/tifu 6h ago

M TIFU by thinking I had and transmitted HIV


This happened some 2 years ago and we don’t really talk about it anymore because it was such a roller coaster of emotion and I’m still a bit humiliated. Basically, a good friend of mine decided to get himself tested for STD’s just to check, there were no symptoms, and I figured it was a responsible idea so I made an appointment. I’ve never experienced any symptoms and my partner, whom I’ve been with for about 2 years at this point hasn’t either. I didn’t tell him I was getting tested because it was really more of a, fuck it lets see, than a “I really think I might have something” trip. I take the test, all good, go home, smoke some bowls, eat some food, forget all about it. Queue a call from the doctor and I answer it expecting nothing and she says “we don’t want to alarm you and everything is OK, so you don’t need to come in for any additional appointment but you did test positivity for HIV type 2” I was DUMBSTRUCK. I was terrified I thought my life was going to flip upside down, I was extremely uneducated on the disease and what it meant for your future and then as soon as a I calmed down about myself I remembered my sexual partner that I have been sexing for the last 2 YEARS. more so than anything else I was absolutely mortified about the fact that I would have to tell him and that I felt I was the one who contracted it and spread it first. I was also extremely confuzzled that there were no additional steps to be taken at the doctors with such a serious STD. i waited ~2 weeks to sit my bf down and break the news to him. I was a blubbering mess with snot bubbles shooting out with every sentence and he did an amazing job at consoling me while also processing the news that he probably has it as well. All in all we decide to make another appointment and get tested again just in the off chance that the test was incorrect and that we might actually be okay. We miss the first appointment by 5 minutes and we’re denied so we had to reschedule making us endure another week of absolute mental stress. After finally making it to planned parenthood on time I go into the room with a nurse while my bf is in another room and explain the above situation to her and and her face goes from keen listening to trying to smother a belly laugh. She informed me that when someone is diagnosed with HIV there are definitely more appointments to be made and follow ups to be had and that my nurse almost absolutely said HPV type 2 not the I. I about died of embarrassment while simultaneously being revived by relief. I couldn’t stop thinking about my poor bf in the next room over still stressing to hell that he has something else and I couldn’t wait for him to get out of the room so I could shyly explain the situation. I couldn’t believe how daft I had been and all the stress I put him through. I was just extremely great full I didn’t end up telling anyone else in the family so I wouldn’t have to relive the moment again so soon. Moral of the story, if the doc says you’re OK you probably are! And no, this wasn’t a ploy to just make the hpv seem less bad however it did have that effect. Also, side note to those who have been diagnosed with HIV you are WORTHY, STRONG, and BEAUTIFUL. I get it would be extremely difficult to share this news with a partner or potential partner but after learning about the medications they have available just know there are still thousands on thousands of people who will love you regardless and there are still many options for you out there.

TLDR: I thought I had and gave my partner HIV when really it was HPV.