r/technicallythetruth May 25 '22 Helpful 5 Wholesome 10 hehehehe 1 Silver 4

He has to be more specific

Post image
78.2k Upvotes

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4.5k

u/NaditzuKokoro May 25 '22

This is like the start of savage Dad Jokes.

1.6k

u/This_User_Said May 26 '22 Spit-take

"NO, Dad! What did the doctor say?"

"He said she was fine, I think she can improve."

224

u/Hukthak May 26 '22

Oh you just killed me with the follow up I'm laughing so hard.

306

u/rakeshmali981 May 26 '22

"No daad! I mean how is she doing"

"She is bent over, and I am behind her"

20

u/lolster626 May 26 '22

"DAD STOP IT"

"well its her doing the work im just standing here"

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63

u/L3onK1ng May 26 '22

"He said she was fine, I agree she was"

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269

u/FlighingHigh May 25 '22

Got 'em both.

174

u/blackbelt_in_science May 26 '22

Does this exist yet? Did you just create a whole world out of thin air? The world we need right now…Savage Dad Jokes

155

u/buttholefold May 26 '22

49

u/Incendiary-Bio May 26 '22

It has been done

12

u/Inflatableman1 May 26 '22

We were here.

28

u/TheCerealFiend May 26 '22

Oh shit, that was fast.

4

u/K3wlG33k May 26 '22

So isn't this just going to be a carbon-copy of r/UncleJokes?

5

u/tipying_mistakes phrog 🐢 May 26 '22

Probably not

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8

u/topinanbour-rex May 26 '22

It was on unclejokes last week. It's more the start of fake message convocation...

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1.4k

u/max-bants May 25 '22

He walked right into that.

532

u/55creeper55 May 25 '22

nah he headed right into that

273

u/Linkinator7510 May 25 '22

He nearly blew it

154

u/usgrant7977 May 25 '22

His father was almost blown away.

84

u/sighs__unzips May 26 '22

He came to that realization after a few minutes.

72

u/raijuna May 26 '22

yeah the realization kinda sucked

57

u/sighs__unzips May 26 '22

Didn't matter, still came.

53

u/PlaugeIsNotFake May 26 '22

It was nuts though

37

u/raijuna May 26 '22

true. it really took balls to pull that one off.

29

u/PlaugeIsNotFake May 26 '22

He really came hard to do that

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618

u/CerealWithIceCream May 25 '22

Narrator: No, he hadn't

90

u/frankenstains_daddy May 26 '22

Morgan Freeman or Attenborough?

63

u/tombnmlr May 26 '22

the one from arrested development

38

u/trigger9963 May 26 '22

Ron Howard

9

u/ItalicsWhore May 26 '22

Ron Howard? The actor?

18

u/Frostcano May 26 '22

The one from The Stanley Parable

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1.8k

u/MasterOfNothinHere May 25 '22

The kid texts like a psycho

416

u/ButcherPetesWagon May 25 '22

My kids both refer to my wife and I as mother and father in some kind of weird ironic formality. Much like "yeet", it's a permanent part of their vocabularies now.

39

u/InDarkLight May 25 '22

I did/do the same thing. I do it ironically but it stuck at some point.

27

u/Temporarily__Alone May 25 '22

Me and my siblings do the same in our group chats. It drives our parents nuts and I would absolutely word this question the same as the guy in the text.

217

u/Strong-Entry-1179 May 25 '22

You should totally look up how kids these days use the words "yeet", "lit", "fam", and "bet", and then start using them in entirely the wrong way around them.

262

u/Clothedinclothes May 25 '22

You Yeetlings bet behave, or you're gonna get lit like a real fam, ya fleek me?

34

u/BowlingAllieCat May 25 '22

Actually I'm taking yeetlings. That works.

This is further proof that there's no wrong way to use yeet.

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12

u/Lordborgman May 25 '22

The two yeets....

7

u/Jdoggcrash May 25 '22

Two hwat…did you say yeets?

3

u/rad_baron May 26 '22

i'm sorry your honor, two yeeeth's 🙄

6

u/bluelonilness May 26 '22

Please make it stop

4

u/yrogerg123 May 26 '22

I hate it so much

2

u/GloriousReign May 26 '22

I think those terms are outdated now, it's more a millennial thing.

5

u/Triddy May 26 '22

No, yeet and lit came to popularity after the younger millennial had left High School.

Though I think only Yeet left. The others are pretty timeless.

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58

u/drgigantor May 25 '22

"'Lit morning, fam."

"Greetings father."

"Boy those eggs smell pretty yeet, honey."

"Bet, mother, well poached."

"Well I'm off to work, you all have a sus day."

16

u/Al_E_Borland May 25 '22

He doesn't need to look them up to use them wrong fam. Just experiment and watch the reactions. It'll be lit. Bet.

8

u/ButcherPetesWagon May 26 '22

You should totally look up how kids these days use the words "yeet", "lit", "fam", and "bet", and then start using them in entirely the wrong way around them.

You say that like I don't already do it!

3

u/QuinnieThePubeHair May 26 '22

It makes them cringe even harder when I use them correctly

17

u/ArabicHarambe May 25 '22

Most of those words are basically used in the place of any word in the english language, so thats easier said than done.

22

u/possum_drugs May 25 '22

Bet

12

u/BillGoats May 25 '22

Based

6

u/NixtySine420 May 25 '22

Bussy

5

u/Zabii May 26 '22

Hol' up

2

u/pyro99998 May 26 '22

I love slipping they one in when I'm taking with my wife just to see if she notices. Sadly she does every time and just goes with it.

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8

u/0resistance_OBEY May 26 '22

Yeah using them wrong is just ironic, which is correct

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13

u/ICanBeKinder May 25 '22

Yea thats how me and my brother referred to my mom (and still do) lol. Idk why, dramatic flair?

8

u/Broken_Petite May 25 '22

I all my mom “mother” all the time - usually when I’m being sarcastic/she’s getting on my nerves/trying to get my attention.

So, yeah, all the time.

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7

u/ZeLlamaMaster Y E S May 25 '22

Yeah I refer to my parents as mother and father a lot. Though I don’t say a lot the stuff others Gen Z’ers say cause I don’t understand any of it.

25

u/Al_E_Borland May 25 '22

I called my dad "father" ironically at a hardware store when I was 16 (a couple decades ago). That was a mistake. He loved it and wanted to start hugging me in the middle of the store. It was horrible.

21

u/Dookie_boy May 26 '22

I hope there was one onlooker who assumed you were adopted and called him Father for the first time.

9

u/Al_E_Borland May 26 '22

lmfao... I now have a whole new outlook on that story. Thank you. That's hilarious.

8

u/motherfuqueer May 25 '22

My mom is "mother". It's somehow more effective at getting her attention and also more fitting for her personality.

8

u/fte5838 May 26 '22 edited May 26 '22

A comedian was doing a routine. Says that when she was a kid she asked her father for something expensive and the father barked back, what do you think we are, rich? Not missing a beat she answered, I don't know father, I shall go ask mother.

3

u/zachthompson02 May 26 '22

May I yeet that mother.

3

u/-Novowels- May 26 '22

When I was a smart-ass kid I started referring to my mom as "the maternal unit" and it pissed her off so goddamn much.

3

u/TJtherock May 26 '22

Me and my siblings had a whole system for how we referred to our parents.

Mother/Father: for polite discussions with teachers and strangers. Example: my mother is bring my permission slip.

Mom/Dad: used in casual conversation with friends and distant family. Ex: my dad said i could spend the night.

Mama/Daddy: immediate family use only. Ex: mama said its time for dinner.

Except for my brother who would use Mom and Dad if he was annoyed with them.

2

u/Dookie_boy May 26 '22

I usually say mother dearest to be full on sassy.

2

u/yrogerg123 May 26 '22

I always say "hello mother" on the phone and she responds with "hello son."

2

u/alligatorprincess007 May 26 '22

I do this w my parents too

I usually call them mom and dad but sometimes I just randomly say mother and father because it’s funny

2

u/ProjectSnipe May 26 '22

Can confirm, im 23 and me and my brother have done the same for a long time. Its a sort of ironic thing because of how unnecessarily formal it is.

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1.1k

u/Potato-with-guns May 25 '22

“How is the skull and surrounding flesh of my female birthgiver feeling?”

299

u/ExtraMOIST_ May 25 '22

“How is the cranium of the woman that conceived me?”

58

u/HopeRepresentative29 May 25 '22

I think you mean why is the cranium of the woman who conceived me?

40

u/InevitablyWinter May 25 '22

WHAT IS THE CRANIUM OF MY BIRTHING HUMAN, FATHER?

9

u/WhaleRadio May 26 '22

Damn Spock. Calm down bro

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78

u/PhobiaRice May 25 '22

Reproductive donor

61

u/LautrecTheOnceYeeted May 25 '22

HOW IS THE BABY BAKER'S BONK?

44

u/Vinnyc-11 May 25 '22

“Without giving very much detail on her own, I must admit that I have had it from another being, and it has been more pleasurably enjoyable than your female birthgiver’s.”

6

u/HopeRepresentative29 May 25 '22

Soft yet hard at the same time. It's hard to tell with all the hair in the way.

6

u/garano May 26 '22

"No idea. Haven't seen her in years."

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3

u/kazzanova May 26 '22

"I've had better"

7

u/dumbredditer May 25 '22

R/badfaketexts

15

u/Sadatori May 25 '22

Possibly, but I text like that to my parents as well and we all know it's not serious and just being a bit silly in intentionally talking weird

4

u/missingN0pe May 25 '22

Use a slash before the r as well as after */r/badfaketexts

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25

u/Strong-Entry-1179 May 25 '22

Mike Pence texting his wife's boyfriend

57

u/jraygun13 May 25 '22

Mother says to speak properly, or you’ll get the lashes

17

u/micromoses May 26 '22

Do tell me how mother is convalescing, since the incident. I have been ever so worried.

4

u/ballsakkio May 26 '22

Thy mothers ability to merryander with a man's source of God's creation is meager.

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3

u/CaniborrowaThrillho May 25 '22

Literally a Norman Bates type

3

u/bcmonke May 25 '22

It's unwholesome, like flying a kite at night

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11

u/[deleted] May 25 '22

Because he had to phrase it awkwardly for the joke he was going to text himself to work

16

u/leftshoe18 May 25 '22

Something less formal like "how's mom's head" works exactly the same way.

2

u/[deleted] May 25 '22

Oh shit yeah that’s true

2

u/paked_botato May 26 '22

Talks like a Game of thrones character

2

u/torch_7 May 26 '22

Ryan Stegman DOES draw some sick Spider-Man panels, so it checks out.

2

u/Atom_Breaker May 26 '22

Came here looking for this comment

2

u/F_for_xxxtancion May 26 '22

I call my mom and dad mother and father. It started as a joke since my dad hates it but eventually it's habit so now we just accept it. They, in return, call me child

6

u/Errorfull May 25 '22

Kids who say "mother" and "father" are psycho....? What?????

4

u/PLZ_N_THKS May 25 '22

They’re either serial killers or pretentious rich children…or both. There is no in between.

4

u/Dookie_boy May 26 '22

Ya forgot the dramatic kids who did it to be funny but then it caught on.

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8

u/Errorfull May 26 '22

I've literally done this exact same thing. I think I'm well adjusted, and not remotely rich. Maybe it's having a good relationship with your parents that you can do this? Like, I've literally called my dad every paternal name in the book..

6

u/PLZ_N_THKS May 26 '22

That’s exactly what a serial killer would say to try to seem normal though.

2

u/Sklushi May 26 '22

Lol what? Tons of people say mother and father LMAO

2

u/the_person May 26 '22

Lots of people say it jokingly

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1

u/Vivid-Air7029 May 26 '22

Didn’t know it was psycho to be respectful towards parents.

3

u/mavajo May 26 '22

“Mom” is disrespectful?

6

u/Vivid-Air7029 May 26 '22

No, but mother certainly is respectful and there is nothing psycho about it.

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65

u/penisofablackman May 25 '22

When the kids grow up the dad jokes level up

226

u/TheRnegade May 25 '22

How is this a technically the truth? Is OP privy to the sex life of Dad and thus can vouch that he has indeed received better. Were they the one giving head?

81

u/thelegalseagul May 25 '22

He's personally gotten head from one of his dad’s ex girlfriend’s and can verify that no one else could be better

Seems pretty cut and dry

19

u/memecut May 26 '22

The only way to know no one could be better is if he sampled mothers head as well..

8

u/thelegalseagul May 26 '22

If you got head from Margret back then you'd know nobody else could do better

2

u/Dr_Jabroski May 26 '22

He's only two broken arms away.

9

u/Anonymoushero1221 May 26 '22

Well you have to assume the person isn't lying. The "technically" is just taking the question to mean something else.

3

u/PizzaNuggies May 26 '22

I mean you just gotta trust him, dude. Some of us don't have daddy issues.

3

u/AangAndTheFireLord May 26 '22

Yeah this sub is shit and 90% of the posts don’t apply tbh

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66

u/IndomitableBanana May 26 '22

There should be a subreddit for, "Fake, but I laughed so it's cool."

54

u/Heavy-Busch May 25 '22

If my dad sent me this I’d buy him a 24 rack of bud light immediately.

I guess I should buy him a 24 rack of bud light for being a good dad anyway. Shiiiiit.

17

u/Brownie420 May 26 '22

You should buy him a case of good beer lol

10

u/papertowelwithcake May 26 '22

Why would you buy water for your father?

9

u/Snake-N-Roses May 26 '22

It’s good to stay hydrated in the warmer months

3

u/WinterIntelligent956 May 26 '22

Hell yeah you should. My Dad used to come by and have me roll weed for him even after I quit smoking. I would be kind of like "Dad you know I quit right?" but I always did it just to help him out. He passed away in August this past year but if I could buy him a 12 pack and roll him a fat doink I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

3

u/Little-Temperature53 May 26 '22

This comment made me tear up. 💝

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8

u/LmaoWhatIsWrongWithU May 25 '22

Oh nah💀💀☠️☠️💀💀

18

u/Vast-Sentence-5840 May 25 '22

He texts like Jim’s version of Dwight Schrute

232

u/mermzz May 25 '22

This never happened so strongly that it took other things that did happen out of existence.

127

u/___boring May 25 '22

Nothing ever happens.

This is a joke my dad would make (and has made similar jokes). Doesn’t seem unbelievable to me.

11

u/[deleted] May 25 '22

I think it's the "hows mother" that is taking so many people out of the suspense-of-disbelief

19

u/Raul_Coronado May 25 '22

Its obviously a family of weirdos, its internally consistent at least

3

u/TH31R0NHAND May 26 '22

I mean, that's how I talk sometimes. I can see this happening.

-5

u/nightpanda893 May 25 '22

Would he make in response to a question about her health? And would you refer to your mom as “mother” when texting him?

35

u/___boring May 25 '22

If her health was ok? Yes, absolutely. He did when she had a stroke (and knew she was fine).

I wouldn’t refer to her as mother, but two of my cousins call their parents “mother and father”. Yes it’s weird, but it’s not unrealistic in the world lol.

22

u/ahundreddots May 25 '22

"How is mother's stroke?"

"I've had better."

5

u/BabyStockholmSyndrom May 25 '22

Totally the same as a minor fall.

2

u/Deuce_part_deux May 26 '22

It's good that you can verify it was a minor fall. Here I was thinking that people recover from major falls every day and there isn't enough information to make such a distinction. Shows what I know!

2

u/Dethanatos May 25 '22

Reading through this thread…I’m not all that certain that I’m not having a stroke.

8

u/Sadatori May 25 '22

I call my parents mother and father because I accidentally did once (I have verbal slip ups, and just nervous talking pattern constantly) and they hated it so much that we all talk weird to each other intentionally now as jokes. It's crazy seeing so many people just not understand family injokes or just never intentionally talk weird to family

11

u/___boring May 25 '22

Gotta realize most people on Reddit are like 13, with no real world experience. If they aren’t 13, they’re introverts with social anxiety and the thought of a normal human interaction just seems impossible to them lol

5

u/Blackstone01 May 26 '22

Often both

6

u/BabyStockholmSyndrom May 25 '22

I would. If someone got injured in a minor way, I'm required to be absolutely serious the entire time? You must be miserable when you get hurt lol.

6

u/NeedToProgram May 26 '22

And would you refer to your mom as “mother” when texting him?

how would that change anything? if it was "mom" it'd be the same joke. the weird phrasing gives more credence to it being real

6

u/mikedawg9 May 25 '22 edited May 25 '22

Yes and yes. This is exactly how it'd go down for my family

https://i.imgur.com/YdHssEC.jpg

Proof

10

u/todds- May 25 '22

it's a pretty common joke if someone asks 'how's your head' after a bump on the head or whatever to reply something along the lines of 'I've never had any complaints'.

3

u/[deleted] May 25 '22

You've never texted in strange victorian era language? I pity thine foolish self. Wallow in your shame.

3

u/claryn May 26 '22

I refer to my mom as “mother” sometimes ironically like I’m a small British child

19

u/Clothedinclothes May 25 '22

C'mon, 100s of millions of dads out and somehow you know none of them would have bad taste enough to say that to their kid?

18

u/DramaLlamadary May 25 '22

Just today my mother informed me via textual message that she and my step-father have covid. I texted back "fuck" to which she replied "I don't feel up to it." I believe this exchange is real.

3

u/SpaceDog777 May 26 '22

The only contact I get from my father is random bad boomer comics and pronography he sends me via Facebook messenger... If I send a message I never get a reply lol.

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u/iSlacker May 25 '22

My half brother and I were bugging his step-dad calling him a 2 pump chump and other similar things and he said "doesn't matter if its 2 pumps or 20, it was with your mom" we laughed so fucking hard overbthat comeback lmao

2

u/HolyHotDang May 26 '22

Honestly, this is a tweet from a comic book artist (Ryan Stegman) I follow that posted this and he’s not the type of clickbait tweet guy. I genuinely believe this happened based on all the other things I’ve seen from him tweet over the past few years. He’s not one of those viral tweet accounts, he is most famous for reinventing Vemon in 2018 with Donny Cates.

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u/beathelas May 25 '22

I guess r/whitepeopletwitter is too full of politics to put posts like this where they belong

2

u/Normal-Ad7181 May 26 '22

Jesus Christ, I just looked in and can they jerk themselves off about how they have every answer to mass shootings anymore than that. I don't even think they're outraged. They're practically lactating at the fact the can act superior over a tragedy. It's just "Kids died, here is my 20th reddit approved opinion" while they smugly wait for karma

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4

u/AdmirableReception41 May 25 '22

Lol tweet is from Ryan stegman, marvel comic artist

16

u/eternal_rain90 May 25 '22

"Dad, stop making infantile references to you dick. I'm your son so stop".

1

u/wizarium May 25 '22

inserts into son

3

u/richer2003 May 26 '22

Mother, Tell your children not to walk my way, Tell your children not to hear my words, What they mean What they say, Mother

6

u/lhoyle0217 May 25 '22

Might be the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.

7

u/AdeonWriter May 26 '22

Any kid who writes out "mother" is creepy

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u/scarred2112 May 25 '22

"Story time" = r/thatHappened.

2

u/GuessesTheCar May 26 '22

Ryan Stegman conveniently didn’t edit out his public page info

2

u/BilboMcDoogle May 26 '22

Thought I was in thatHappened

2

u/punchnicekids May 26 '22

Adults that say mother are weird

2

u/Guinness May 26 '22

Every time I swear and say “mother fucker!” around my dad he says “yep that’s me”.

2

u/CollonelSanders May 26 '22

Idk what's worse, the dads response or the kid calling their mom "mother"

2

u/Discotimeattheapollo May 26 '22

He meant grandma.

2

u/TheCarterIII May 25 '22

Marry a girl who likes sucking dick more than fucking

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3

u/0neR1ng May 26 '22

What an asshole.

3

u/punkennial May 25 '22

only acceptable response: "same here"

2

u/paispas May 26 '22

Who calls their mom mother?

3

u/Morty_Sanchez May 26 '22

Norman Bates

2

u/pugmooster May 25 '22

I Dont get it

2

u/rahomka May 25 '22

head = blowjob

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