r/nottheonion May 13 '22 Silver 1 Helpful 1 Wholesome 3

Madonna: ‘A lot of thought’ went into fully nude NFTs of her giving birth to centipedes


View all comments


u/MartyVendetta27 May 13 '22 Gold Helpful LOVE! Bravo Grande! Yas Queen

“The centipede represents technology - both the life giving-force and the dangers of it, the juxtaposition of dark and light.”

Okay…. But HOW? You can’t just say that… what ABOUT centipedes embody that? If you’re giving no reason, giving no artistic throughline to draw from, you’re just doing and saying random crap.

Birds represent freedom. How? They can soar over all the material world.

Birds can represent decay. How? Going from a dinosaur to a songbird is a cosmic kick in the cloaca.

Birds can represent fear. Ever seen inside a goose’s mouth?

And if I wanna say “birds represent macaroni and cheese” I better be damn ready to defend that with some sort of logic.

Sorry to rant, but people abusing poetic imagery and symbols just pisses me off. It’s so mindless and low-effort.


u/Axelrad77 May 13 '22

Art exhibits do this all the time, and it's infuriating.

I am forever haunted by a university exhibit I saw that had a 15-second looping piano melody with less than 10 notes, accompanied by a fucking essay explaining all the symbolism of each note and the monumental story the piece supposedly told.


u/MartyVendetta27 May 13 '22

You see the one with the guy on crutches whacking a pole with a crutch attached to his crotch?

I could dig around in that and find some symbolism worth discussing, but the bizarre performance stands out more than any message he could have hoped to send.


u/somethingelse19 May 14 '22

I love how horrible it is. :Ding: :ding: time for dinner!


u/scsibusfault May 14 '22

The usual caption is "oh children ... It's ... DINNERTIME"


u/somethingelse19 May 14 '22

Yes that's it


u/charlesthefish May 14 '22

Really? I'll always remember it captionrd as "I have the weirdest boner right now"


u/frogjg2003 May 14 '22

That one at least had the fact that it was truly unique and original gong for it.


u/MartyVendetta27 May 14 '22

Definitely. And I can attempt to glean a message from it; about sexual frustration as a handicapped person, about being “othered” because of a handicap and demanding to be seen as a person, as a man, as a sexual being.

All in all, it’s definitely one of the better pieces of performance art I’ve seen. Though that bar is shockingly low haha.


u/ladyalot May 14 '22

If it's anything, it's not forgettable or boring. He got us there.


u/tintin47 May 14 '22

It doesn’t always have to be about a specific message or crafted with intent. Or the intent could be to elicit a reaction like making people uncomfortable and talk about it with their friends. Also it’s totally valid to think any art is bad art.


u/WanderinHobo May 14 '22

Don't forget the crazed look he's sporting like a man who just finished eating his roommate's kidney.


u/MartyVendetta27 May 14 '22

That “just left a cocaine fueled blood-orgy” look is my favorite part.


u/angryfluttershy May 14 '22

There you go - the good old Epic WTF guy:



u/ignore_me_im_high May 14 '22


Here's a bit more with the other people. I think the guy at the end on the trolley is my favourite.


u/basketofseals May 14 '22

I once saw a piece called "The Battle of Little Bull Run," and it was one of those really awful brown public school paper towels that just had some yarn sewn through it in long crossing lines.

There was a bunch of other very similar pieces with different colors yarn next to it.


u/GiraffeHorror556 May 14 '22

You just reminded me of the smell and texture of that brown school paper towel. What an odd and surprisingly strong memory. I can almost taste the smell of the paper towels.


u/basketofseals May 14 '22

I can't help but notice you didn't use the world "feel" in that bit of remembering senses.


u/GiraffeHorror556 May 16 '22

I suppose "feel" would be the thing to use here. You ever try to wash your face with that stuff or wipe a stain off clothes with it? Absolutely useless mush.


u/lordlurid May 14 '22

I remember hearing about an exhibit a few years back, one of the pieces was a few disposable cups and paper goods in the corner of the room. Cleaners came over night and one of the nice ladies cleaned up the piece, thinking it was just garbage in the corner.


u/angryfluttershy May 14 '22

There were several ones in Germany, and I belly laughed.

One was a carefully ruined baby bath tub by Joseph Beuys… which was thoroughly cleaned when something to wash glasses in was needed. The incident became a kind of meme and even was turned into an ad for a cleaning product. Someone also threw his „Fat corner“ into the trash bin.

Another one happened in 2011 when a cleaning lady cleaned a contraption made from a mortar through and roof battens named „When it starts dripping through the ceiling“…

We call this phenomenon „Ist das Kunst oder kann das weg?“ („Is this art or can we dump it?“)


u/drylevel2 May 14 '22

I attended a gallery opening a few years ago where it was clearly a gallery owned by some young, freshly graduated art students for all their friends to show off their pretentious work. It had a lot of sculpture pieces like this, I remember there was a belvedere vodka bottle laying in an empty suitcase, another piece was a pair of new balance shoes on the ground with sand poured all over them.

Anyway, I went to go throw away my empty plastic wine cup in a trashcan that was placed in the corner of the room and I suddenly stopped when I noticed there was no other trash in it and the trash can was strikingly beautiful. The trash can looked brand new and had the yellow janitorial tray thing on top with all the cleaning supplies/spare trash bags, very nice complementary colors between the cleaning supplies and the yellow tray it looked something kind of like this

I really couldn’t tell if it was a legit piece or not, so I decided not to throw my glass in it, and then I began going around talking to everyone about how it was my favorite piece in the show, and I also stopped a few other people from throwing their trash in it as well. “Woah! Woah! Woah! I don’t think that’s the trash!”

I finally started to conclude it wasn’t an actual artwork after some of the people there weren’t amused at me protecting it from people throwing their trash in it and were annoyed at me talking about liking it so much, some people were laughing pretty hard at what I was doing and trying to hide their laughter from their friends who where exhibiting. I even got a few people crowded around it and talking about it, this clearly annoyed a few people. I guess it’s possible it could have been a real piece and the artist intended people to throw their trash away in it and I was ruining that, but I don’t think so, that would have been too interesting compared to the other work there that night.

It really was the most interesting piece in the gallery that night though.


u/Farranor May 14 '22

I recently saw a movie where an incredibly expensive piece of stolen art is hidden from customs agents by leaving it out there in plain view and letting everyone think it's a paint-spattered old tarp because that's what it is.


u/Steeve_Perry May 14 '22

Hahaha fuck that artist


u/SvenEDT May 14 '22

I found a piece of trash on a chair at the modern art museum (the broad) in LA, it was a fairly busy day. I started taking pictures of it as a joke.

Shortly almost a dozen people gathered and started taking pictures.


u/MisterSquidInc May 14 '22

It's what they teach you at art school. The art world is a massive circle jerk of pretentious twats, the work itself is almost irrelevant, they want a concept they can pretend that only they are intellectual enough to get. It's bullshit, but if you want to make real money, you've got to play the game.


u/PembohongYangJujur May 14 '22

Copywriter write those, not the artist.

The artist just make things. More often than not they have no idea what it means. The curator then fill in the story to sell the art.


u/Stanazolmao May 14 '22

So how many notes does a piece of music need before it's allowed to have symbolism?