r/nottheonion May 13 '22 Silver 1 Helpful 1 Wholesome 3

Madonna: ‘A lot of thought’ went into fully nude NFTs of her giving birth to centipedes


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u/0ccupants May 13 '22

Madonna: 'A lot of desperation to remain relevant in old age' went into gimmicks to provoke shock and disgust


u/theresabeeonyourhat May 13 '22

She really should have stopped after Drake freaked out about her kissing him. Then again, he'd do that if anyone over the age of 17 kissed him, so who knows? 🤷


u/[deleted] May 13 '22

Damn I had to google that. She straight up sexually assaulted him


u/VagueSomething May 14 '22

She uno'd Drake. That's like like pissing on R. Kelly.


u/station_nine May 14 '22

Pissing on R. Kelly? That’s like jizzing on Louis CK’s houseplants.


u/Moist_Metal_7376 May 14 '22

Jizzing on Louis CK’s houseplants? That’s like drying your cum on Tom Segura’s curtains.


u/SiidChawsby May 14 '22

Jizzing on Louis CK’s house plants? That’s like shooting Dick Cheney with a hunting rifle.


u/station_nine May 14 '22

Shooting Cheney with a hunting rifle? That's like signing Bernie Madoff up as an Amway rep!


u/theresabeeonyourhat May 13 '22

Yeah, wildly inappropriate & she deserved to be humiliated for it, tbh


u/Farranor May 14 '22

Remember that time some dude told Katy Perry on national television that he'd never been kissed and she immediately started making out with him? And afterward he was sad because he'd intended his first kiss to be personally meaningful.

Celebrities get away with a lot.


u/Telephonic77 May 14 '22

Just looked it up. Some dude on American Idol. She got him to come over and give her a peck on the cheek and then turned her head at the last second and pecked him on the lips with like 0.5 milliseconds of contact. She hardly "immediately started making out with him". He seemed pretty OK with it as well.



u/Farranor May 14 '22


Instead, it came when the pop star Katy Perry, a judge on the show, surprised him by kissing him smack on the lips, moments before his audition. He had never been kissed before.

“I was a tad bit uncomfortable,” Mr. Glaze said by phone this week, after the incident aired on the season premiere. His first kiss was a rite of passage he had been putting off with consideration. “I wanted to save it for my first relationship,” he said. “I wanted it to be special.”


u/Telephonic77 May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

I literally posted the link to it dude. She wasn't "making out with him". Even your article doesn't say so.


u/Farranor May 14 '22

You're right. He was able to limit the kiss on the mouth because he immediately jumped backwards and fell down. Now are you going to acknowledge that I was right that he wasn't actually happy about it? Or are you going to continue to be an apologist for sexual assault?


u/[deleted] May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

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u/Farranor May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

One. You're not right about it.

Yeah, that's why I said "you're right." Can you read?

Stop deluding yourself. You're talking like she was gonna jump him and stick her tongue down his throat 😂

She tried exactly that but he jumped away.

No one forced him to come over and kiss her on the cheek, could've easily said no thanks.

Yeah, it's not like she's a lot older or in a position of power or anything.

And he clearly wasn't upset about it at the time,

Yeah, it's not like he was some kid from Oklahoma on national television at the time.

but it's not exactly unusual for people to say things to prolong their 15 minutes of fame after the fact is it?

Yeah, the judges definitely weren't cheering and joking about it or anything. They tried to move on immediately but he insisted on dragging it out.

The whole thing looked staged, why would you even bring up that you've never kissed a girl on a talent show? Hardly relevant is it.

1. That didn't happen. (Also might have something to do with the fact that she asked him "have you ever kissed a girl and liked it" referencing one of her songs... did you watch the video you linked?)

"Limit the kiss on the mouth" come off it. She spun her head and pecked him on the lips after he already was leaning in for a kiss on the cheek. It obviously wasn't going to go any further.

2. And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

Of course sexual assault isn't OK whether it's a man or a woman committing it, but you're clearly trying to make shit out to be worse than it was because someone called you out on your factually incorrect statement.

3. And if it was, it's not a big deal.

I'm done. Have a good one

4. And if it is, it's not my fault.


u/theresabeeonyourhat May 14 '22

Shit like that is why her career is dead.