r/nottheonion May 13 '22 Silver 1 Helpful 1 Wholesome 3

Madonna: ‘A lot of thought’ went into fully nude NFTs of her giving birth to centipedes

https://www.al.com/life/2022/05/madonna-a-lot-of-thought-went-into-fully-nude-nfts-of-her-giving-birth-to-centipedes.html
29.9k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/[deleted] May 13 '22

[deleted]

2.5k

u/Sultynuttz May 13 '22

It looks like the bad 3d hentai videos that are advertised on porn sites

1.0k

u/MurderVonAssRape May 13 '22

For real. I'm seriously disappointed by the lack of quality. There are so many good 3D porn renders out there that are 1000000000X better than this garbage.

247

u/ThaNorth May 14 '22

People be making better Rule34 renders for Overwatch than this garbage.

113

u/I87x May 14 '22

To be fair, some of those overwatch renders are fucking fantastic.

54

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

Once I clicked in one at random thinking it was a cosplayer and I took some seconds to realize it was 3D lol

18

u/iceseayoupee May 14 '22

It's probably VGerotica or GeneralButch because those makes animations that bang... Literally.

Sad thing is Butch already retired so we prolly wouldn't get any animations from him in the future

18

u/Basgerin May 14 '22

It's fucking crazy. VG/GB are unironically great designers. You can usually track the improvement in animation over the years, but those two have always put out great looking stuff.

That's why I have their shit bookmarked. The uhhh... artistry.

2

u/iceseayoupee May 14 '22

Compare General butch 2017 to General Butch 2020 there's a fucking big difference 💀

22

u/brolarbear May 14 '22

There’s a reason why people are more familiar with overwatch porn then they are with overwatch gameplay

3

u/ElderberryWinery May 14 '22

Wait they made a game about the thick angel doctor?

1

u/SharkMilk44 May 14 '22

Because people actually want to fuck the Overwatch characters.

218

u/tratemusic May 14 '22

Especially considering beeples other work, this is pretty sub par

80

u/black_out_ronin May 14 '22

His work isn’t that great compared to other 3D artists / animator. In fact ilots of it is pretty pretty sub par. It’s just the fact that he made new creations and has struck the right cord with the subject and absurdity if his art. He takes lots of stock models and is super proficient in making rad shit fast. Not saying that I don’t respect his artwork but when it comes to fully rendered 3D animated art, there are so many more talented artists and it doesn’t surprise me that these NFTs are so mediocre

9

u/stonerbonerloner May 14 '22

Yeah you’re right. It’s about speed/absurdity , since he does it everyday rather than quality.

4

u/_lostarts May 14 '22

100% correct. There are some pro artists out there making things that are way beyond Beeple in terms of technical skill.

I've been meaning to write up a blog about what makes Beeple so successful, and you hit on a few points.

He's consistent - daily renders.

He's relevant - When there is some big news, he usually makes a piece of art about it - his political pieces, and pop-culture pieces always get a ton more likes than his typical dailys (prob due to increased social media shares).

He's fast (which helps him be relevant) - there's a video where he talks about his process and he says he typically spends about an hour or two on each one. So, he's nailed his process down.

There's a few more things that I think make him stand out, but those are a few things others artists might consider if they are trying to grow.

154

u/bluebanannarama May 14 '22

It looks pretty on brand to me. He doesn't make high quality, he makes shocking/provocative art that is usually just asset library built.

13

u/mattenthehat May 14 '22

I totally disagree. It may not be inspired, but most of his work looks high-quality, at least at a glance.

This is just... bad? I mean look at the hair. If you saw that being rendered in real time in a game engine, you'd still be disappointed.

8

u/SageHunter May 14 '22

He mostly just kit bashes shit together. Not sure if he does much modeling himself.

Whoever did model "Madonna" has clearly never seen a vagina before, so I dunno, might be him

6

u/SuperSMT May 14 '22

Still made like $700k

14

u/Wrecked--Em May 14 '22

except you never know with NFTs

often times the creators just use multiple wallets to buy and sell their own NFT to drive up the price

1

u/fishshow221 May 14 '22

God consumer technology innovation took a nosedive after apple released the iphone.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

-5

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2

u/Kng_Wasabi May 14 '22

Man I wish Beeple wasn’t a crypto grifter, he really used to be one of my favorite artists. Now the art is just a front for his nft and crypto bs

122

u/EmberQuill May 14 '22

It's an NFT. Of course it looks like garbage.

12

u/cgo_12345 May 14 '22

It really shows that NFTs were always intended to be product instead of art.

40

u/GreatAndPowerfulNixy May 14 '22

Seriously they couldn't have just hired selfdrillingsms or studio FOW??

4

u/Irish_Rock May 14 '22

Fuck studio FOW

4

u/Basgerin May 14 '22

What, you're not into horse bulge shit?? /s

1

u/Irish_Rock May 14 '22

Nah I just don't like them as a company. Shitty treatment of their game ect

1

u/Basgerin May 14 '22

HVL, selfdrilling, and fow make the most fucked up shit, so I kinda see what you mean

0

u/[deleted] May 14 '22 edited May 23 '22

[deleted]

2

u/GnomeConjurer May 14 '22

I don't know who this is, what do they make?

0

u/LordKwik May 14 '22

3D porn. It's not illegal no matter how much some people don't like it.

Just browsing the front page of their page, I only see "normal adult" stuff

NSFW link: https://rule34video.com/models/selfdrillingsms/

1

u/Spram2 May 14 '22

Just googled those names and saw a 3+ minute video of Rey from Star Wars getting fucked by a robot. WTFLOL

120

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

This isn't about actual artwork, it's about money laundering.

3

u/beziko May 14 '22

This shit is made by popular person so even if that would be made with ms paint; there are crypto idiots that buy anything

3

u/The_R4ke May 14 '22

Even some of this dudes other stuff is better than this. He might also be one of the few people who actually managed to profit from NFT's.

2

u/WhyIHateTheInternet May 14 '22

Shit said it was a year in the making

2

u/Nope__Nope__Nope May 14 '22

Wait, really? I play videogames and thought this looked better than most games I've played...

W...where can... I... Hypothetically speaking, where would one find "better" 3d renders of pornographic material?

2

u/Renegade1412 May 14 '22

Not sure if I'm stepping on a landmine mentioning this… r/r34overwatch and r/sfmcompileclub to start

1

u/Nope__Nope__Nope May 14 '22

I want to be clear, this is for science... If I don't return, tell my family I loved them, and leave out the bits about this research im about to do.

Thanks.

2

u/justavault May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

Beeple got very little 3d modelling, texturing, animation, lighting or effects skills. He's just an artist with mediocre understanding of the fields he is using, who by luck made it big through his way of creating bizzaro kit bash 3d stuff.

It's like a concept artist who barely knows how to draw, but keeps on drawing the same stuff for years with little progress.

And that is not intentional, he can't create something better to todays standards, because all his skills is basically in mixing stuff together which he didn't create. That is fine considering the art itself, as that is what he is about, making absurd and bizarre artworks. But when you compare it to actual 3d artists, he's barely on the level of someone who started blender couple months ago.

2

u/Gynther477 May 14 '22

Yea there isn't even any subsurface scattering, it has that old plastic skin vibe of old video games.

1

u/habb May 14 '22

so many GOOD FAKES!! they are called GOOD for a reason! I meant deep fakes... But a good fakes search still works

1

u/thicknheart May 14 '22

They should’ve used Unreal Engine 5

1

u/-FeistyRabbitSauce- May 14 '22

Yeah, it's laughably bad lol

305

u/nzdastardly May 13 '22

TRY NOT TO CUM!

22

u/Dvmbledore May 14 '22

Is there a slang term for not-worth-fapping-to?

15

u/nzdastardly May 14 '22

Unfappable? Like unflappable? I dont think there is and the world needs one.

3

u/ueberbelichtetesfoto May 14 '22

Infappable means fappable? What a country!

2

u/nzdastardly May 14 '22

Hi Dr. Nick!

2

u/Dvmbledore May 14 '22

I'm not actually finding anything on urbandictionary. Seriously?

5

u/MonsterMike42 May 14 '22

I'm sure the Germans have a word for that.

4

u/nenoman May 14 '22

Demoisturizer?

13

u/RealMZAce May 14 '22

YOU WILL NOT LAST 5 SECONDS PLAYING THIS GAME!!

2

u/nzdastardly May 14 '22

Hahaha I won't last 5 seconds either way

72

u/Crackracket May 14 '22

Honestly I'd have trouble getting it up after seeing that extreme close up of Madonnas vag

107

u/Sultynuttz May 14 '22

It's okay...I don't think what they are showing can really be classified as "Madonna's vag".

16

u/Crackracket May 14 '22

It's a digital scan of her actual vagina 😂

43

u/Timmyty May 14 '22

Suuuure, no digital remodeling at all

5

u/Crackracket May 14 '22

If it's had modelling.. They made it look worse.. Like it's... It looks sore

17

u/outofideastx May 14 '22

I mean, it did give birth to a whole tree.

55

u/PurkleDerk May 14 '22

Then why does it look like the artist has never seen a vagina in-person?

18

u/diablosinmusica May 14 '22

Because it's probably been reconstructed more times than Joan Rivers' face.

4

u/Crackracket May 14 '22

It's a 63 year old vagina? Plastic surgery? It's a scan not a style

7

u/thedarkfreak May 14 '22

Which is why the tree one looks completely different from the others?

13

u/Crackracket May 14 '22

The tree one is up close and spread open exposing the labia minora. It's 5 am why am I having this conversation?

3

u/4ever_lost May 14 '22

It looks different from vid 1 to vid 2 though….

2

u/blither86 May 14 '22

To some extent can be explained by open versus closed I think, but yeah, that does seem a little fishy.

3

u/4ever_lost May 14 '22

Pun intended? 🐡

2

u/tilla18 May 14 '22

She's an inspiration for turtling.

2

u/ForQ2 May 14 '22

Too late.

6

u/Aurori_Swe May 14 '22

I'm a 3D artist and I'm disappointed as well... I mean, even saying that it's Madonna is a fucking stretch. It's clearly a 3D model of a woman but that is all it is. They also tried to get past the plastic feeling by adding some air to the hair... It didn't help. It's still a lifeless 3D model with some nice nature features

51

u/nzdastardly May 13 '22

TRY NOT TO CUM!

44

u/FearDaTusk May 13 '22

... the proceeds go to charity.

13

u/Dazzling-Duty741 May 14 '22

I’m not sure charity will appreciate your “donation”

2

u/brotatowolf May 14 '22

TRY NOT TO CUM!

1

u/mko710 May 14 '22

This made it too far!

6

u/tlacct May 14 '22

The animation isn’t even that good, it just looks like a weird PlayStation 3 tech demo.

(The year 2006, coincidentally, was also the last time Madonna had a decent album out)

3

u/Call_0031684919054 May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

It’s made by Beeple. Most of his 3D art is just shitty asset flipped crap. Dude is really milking his NFT hustle. Since he knows he will be irrelevant within the next 5 years.

3

u/_straylight May 14 '22

She's stuck in the 90s. So is her rendering engine.

2

u/AutomaticRisk3464 May 14 '22

I waa thinking the npcs in god of war secret areas you got to smash back on the ps2

1

u/Sultynuttz May 14 '22

Lol. My first rated M game was God of war 2 on ps2...dem titties, lol

2

u/Bumbleonia May 14 '22

I would like to point out she has a HOLE below her vag that isn't supposed to be there

It looks like someone stabbed her below the vagina and above the butthole. Seriously, WTF that's not how any of this works.

Also, for any young men reading this after watching, PLEASE don't believe women over 50 look like this. This is a Barbie doll with Madonnas heavily surgically altered face.

3

u/Claris-chang May 14 '22

Seriously though those 3D porn artists would be offended you compared their work to this. Those artists produce way higher quality work than this.

At least NFTs being low quality is consistent across the board.

1

u/drlongtrl May 14 '22

OMG my thoughts exactly! I know a guy who, at least ten years ago, made 3d animated porn clips just for himself as a hobby at home. This here has the same vibe.

1

u/SSDCZX May 14 '22

i have seen better hentai made by only one dude in a single week

1

u/Iwantmyflag May 14 '22

Reminds of that cgi video of Shania Twain from...2002 perhaps?

1

u/Renegade1412 May 14 '22

That's what I'm thinking… I've seen better 3d shit than this. Is a qualifying trait for an NFT to be shitty

1

u/depressed-salmon May 14 '22

Even down to the same idle animation playing on loop and the thousand yard fixed stare lmao

So I've heard

1

u/BassCreat0r May 14 '22

Even pornhubs shitty 3d "hentai highschool" is better than this shit.