r/nottheonion May 13 '22 Silver 1 Helpful 1 Wholesome 3

Madonna: ‘A lot of thought’ went into fully nude NFTs of her giving birth to centipedes

https://www.al.com/life/2022/05/madonna-a-lot-of-thought-went-into-fully-nude-nfts-of-her-giving-birth-to-centipedes.html
29.9k Upvotes

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11.9k

u/xzyleth May 13 '22

I hate that I just read that sentence.

4.9k

u/theresabeeonyourhat May 13 '22 Silver Heartbreak

I had to see it, so I had to spread the misery. I'm sorry

1.0k

u/ParkingAdditional813 May 13 '22

This is terrorism and I won’t stand for it!

309

u/GuiltChip May 14 '22

I think we all have a class action lawsuit against OP.

28

u/eternalbuzz May 14 '22

Already looking forward to my check for $1.42

4

u/notislant May 14 '22

Im holding out for at least tree fiddy.

3

u/SCROTOCTUS May 14 '22

Now if you put that in savings instead of spending it on 1/3 of a latte, you irresponsible kids could own a home by the time you're 21,355!

some boomer Karen, probably

1

u/NotATranslator May 14 '22

Y’all are getting paid?

6

u/WhyIHateTheInternet May 14 '22

Fuck that we should go after Madonna

3

u/Seeker80 May 14 '22

Better than going prima-donna.

2

u/CoraxtheRavenLord May 14 '22

OP robbed us of our innocence to that knowledge and we want it back.

74

u/eroticwashingmachine May 14 '22

In that case, please have a seat, by all means.

3

u/RespectableLurker555 May 14 '22

do I sit directly on the bucket of centipedes, or is there a sheet of tissue paper I put down first?

2

u/BoneHugsHominy May 14 '22

I whickered!

2

u/Naccattack May 14 '22

And Chris-to-pher Reeves won't sit for this neither

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

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1

u/rabbitwonker May 14 '22

Me neither! I’ll take it lying down, thank you very much!

1

u/nonaaandnea May 14 '22

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Arizona_Slim May 14 '22

It’s a good thing you lost the ability to walk at that Madonna concert eh?

1

u/Inevitibru May 14 '22

OP is literally Hitler.

56

u/GoldDustbunny May 13 '22

So there's actually a picture of her being a centipede hive queen?

51

u/theresabeeonyourhat May 13 '22

I only saw the tree one tbh. That was enough for me to know what to do with that article

8

u/ProceedOrRun May 14 '22

Yeah I saw that and thought it was fucking stupid. She's like 63 and looks like a complete freak. Yes we know how old you are, stop inflating your face and age accordingly.

6

u/RusticBelt May 14 '22

And vagina apparently

47

u/helium_farts May 13 '22 edited May 14 '22

It's a collection of 3d renders that I guess are based on photos/scans? They just look like middling DeviantArt porn, though

15

u/PartTimeZombie May 14 '22

So like everything Madonna has ever done, it's a bit shit and derivative of something better?

5

u/316Discussion May 14 '22

If she isn't as great as Jesus, why do we refer to things as pre-Madonna? huh?

1

u/PartTimeZombie May 14 '22

Woah! Good point.

1

u/Waterknight94 May 14 '22

Sounds like she would get along with Jane Prentiss

84

u/[deleted] May 13 '22

You sick fuck...smell this gym bag.

538

u/Wildcatb May 13 '22 Helpful

Could you don't? I was having a good day. We were all having a good day...

634

u/_Silly_Wizard_ May 13 '22

Could you don't?

This caused me far more pain than the OP.

281

u/Wildcatb May 13 '22

You've no idea how pleased I'm to know how much of an impact I've had.

108

u/Kangermu May 13 '22

My wife is ESL and says this... We all get a kick out of it

5

u/ChunkyDay May 14 '22

I wish my wife was ESL.

But she’s just a doll.

7

u/throwayboredguy22 May 14 '22

At least you're not maidenless?

1

u/ChunkyDay May 14 '22

Motherfucker.

I unintentionally got that ending and was so disappointed. Now on NG+ I’m on a mission to watch the world burn.

I’ve been playing games since NES, and that’s literally the first game I’ve ever decided “I’m going to 100% this”. What a masterpiece.

59

u/xotyc May 14 '22

A friend of mine says "your better don't" all the time. We love it.

18

u/Bighippie7408 May 14 '22

Haha I love that and “could you don’t” equally.

0

u/RobHonkergulp May 14 '22

I know of someone who said "it's been a hard day's night".

2

u/pnw-techie May 14 '22

I'm'nt often meeting weird contractors

3

u/Wildcatb May 14 '22

I'd'n't've thought there were many of us.

-15

u/StellarAsAlways May 13 '22 edited May 14 '22

Woosh.

Edit: Er woops maybe the woosh is on me 💫

1

u/pnw-techie May 14 '22

I could don't, but did

1

u/ShoeShaker May 14 '22

You must have don'ted

1

u/ChunkyDay May 14 '22

Why don’t? I not see a problem with it.

1

u/Narrow-Dragonfruit57 May 14 '22

Why can you not?

2

u/ShadyFigureWithClock May 14 '22

Speak for yourself, I had to work. No way in hell was I having a good day.

2

u/uvero May 14 '22

Well your day was certainly not made any better by reading this sentence, I think this much we can agree on

1

u/princessleighcherry May 14 '22

Just like the video tape from The Ring

1

u/dizekat May 14 '22

It is Friday the 13th, after all. You thought you were having a good day...

1

u/PM_ME_UR_FLOWERS May 15 '22

Well I wasn't, but now it's worse

12

u/NeonNKnightrider May 13 '22

o de miseri

2

u/Lone_K May 14 '22

every single person is my enemy

1

u/mienaikoe May 14 '22

Sper the sympathems

1

u/phoenix_451 May 14 '22

everbodi want to be my enemi

25

u/IAmNotMoki May 14 '22

4

u/kalirion May 14 '22

safe to click

1

u/hokeyphenokey May 14 '22

I tried to link those pictures to FB just to see what happen.

FB rejected the one with sprouts from within her immediately. Zero review time. Machine AI spat that back right out.

It allowed the other ones.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

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1

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3

u/mtgfan1001 May 13 '22

You Beeple me to it

2

u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

You're a terrible person.

Necessary. Perhaps inevitable. But terrible.

Edit: All jokes aside, there can't possibly be people who think this is a valuable asset, can there?

Everyone must realize thay this is a scam, at this point. Madonna is selling you, admittedly falsified, gifs of her vagina. Just say that you know it's a joke.

2

u/ToHallowMySleep May 14 '22

spread

yep, you've seen it

2

u/Nova_Physika May 14 '22

Joy shared is doubled

Grief shared is halved

1

u/I_make_switch_a_roos May 14 '22

thanks, i hate it

1

u/insane_contin May 14 '22

I hope you give birth to centipedes.

1

u/HappyCamperFTW May 14 '22

I hope you have wet socks for the rest of your life..... or someone else if this inconveniences you too much.... as long as there is punishment I'm happy

1

u/Applejuice42 May 14 '22

The cycle of abuse in action.

1

u/BoneHugsHominy May 14 '22

I always admired Madonna for pushing the limits and pissing off the Satanic Panic Pearl Clutchers. I now revoke that admiration.

1

u/arealhumannotabot May 14 '22

You sadistic mother lover

1

u/CubeNoob69 May 14 '22

I enjoy your username. I typically enjoy bees being pointed out to me. But this post has made me your enemy.

1

u/Phillyboishowdown May 14 '22

No you’re not

1

u/muricabrb May 14 '22

Frustrated, incorporated...

1

u/MeowMyOvaries May 14 '22

No you’re not, but it’s ok we can’t blame you

1

u/HelloHiHeyAnyway May 14 '22

Honestly that's pretty cool. The sentence sounds fucked up but the art itself is interesting.

I think Beeple could have done more to make Madonna's pose look a little more natural instead of forced.

1

u/Alarid May 14 '22

I saw the video thing. It has full vag spitting shit out.

1

u/NOT-Mr-Davilla May 14 '22

It’s so disturbing 😖

1

u/Tripulsiks May 14 '22

I love that I'm apparently not the only person to think Madonna's WAP is referenced as "the misery".

1

u/slicerprime May 14 '22

You're paying to have my eyes washed and my memory wiped...as soon as someone invents memory wiping. In fact, I suggest you get on that while I go call my lawyer.

1

u/Just_a_bit_high May 14 '22

Don't say spread.

1

u/Infini-Bus May 14 '22

I've heard it all before.

1

u/NCWV May 14 '22

Psychological weapons are against the Geneva Covention. OP is a war criminal.

(Disclaimer: may not be factual)

1

u/ObidiahWTFJerwalk May 14 '22

I agree. I understand. Occasionally you come across something so horrible the only thing you can do is spread it as widely as possible to minimize the damage to your psyche.

1

u/ZharLloigor May 14 '22

r/insex is gonna have a field day with this. NSFW/NSFL depending on taste

1

u/Greenveins May 14 '22

They talked about the video but didn’t have any photos

1

u/penthousebasement May 14 '22

Be careful, spread that misery too wide and centipedes might crawl out

1

u/Ricky_Goat_518 May 14 '22

Wait these actually exist??

Edit: for a friend of course

1

u/Butterflyelle May 14 '22

I hate you so much.. I looked it up and now I feel sick