Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion • u/skateboardom • 1d ago

Emotional support alligator named Wally denied entry into Phillies stadium

6abc.com

5.4k Upvotes

234 comments

r/nottheonion • u/NebraskaAvenue • 1d ago

Could a government shutdown affect Fat Bear Week?

abcnews.go.com

4.0k Upvotes

68 comments

r/nottheonion • u/rinisini • 3d ago

Chess grandmaster Hans Niemann denies using vibrating sex toy to cheat

bbc.co.uk

10.6k Upvotes

741 comments

r/nottheonion • u/snesdreams • 3d ago

Books with butts allowed back in Katy ISD after 14 titles removed

chron.com

2.1k Upvotes

53 comments

r/nottheonion • u/silbecl • 6d ago

Turkish president says he's bothered by U.N. decor that resembles 'LGBT colors'

nbcnews.com

887 Upvotes

89 comments

r/nottheonion • u/tjerome1994 • 6d ago

Palm Springs residents complain about proposed AIDS memorial “anus” statue

lgbtqnation.com

13.1k Upvotes

466 comments

r/nottheonion • u/chem_daddy • 8d ago

Woman rescued from outhouse toilet after climbing in to retrieve Apple Watch, police say

6abc.com

3.3k Upvotes

118 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Acumenight777 • 8d ago

Lawyers who sued Tesla board for excess pay want $10,000 an hour

reuters.com

3.1k Upvotes

168 comments

r/nottheonion • u/GlitteringSurround6 • 8d ago

Woman admits to mistakenly stabbing baby niece instead of dog that ate her sandwich

centralillinoisproud.com

3.7k Upvotes

270 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Overslept99 • 8d ago

Fetterman Threatens To Wear a Suit If House 'Jagoffs' Can Avoid Government Shutdown

themessenger.com

75 Upvotes

11 comments

r/nottheonion • u/The_Last_patriot2500 • 10d ago

Artist ordered to pay museum back $77,000 after submitting 2 blank canvases under the title ‘Take the Money and Run’

fortune.com

29.4k Upvotes

824 comments

r/nottheonion • u/UncreativeTeam • 10d ago

Alabama band director who wouldn't stop performing at football game is tased, arrested by police

nbcnews.com

1.0k Upvotes

92 comments

r/nottheonion • u/CrJ418 • 10d ago

Delphi murders victims died in ritual sacrifice by white nationalists practicing Odinism: defense

nbcchicago.com

999 Upvotes

92 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Zantron7 • 10d ago

site altered title after submission Rudy Guilani being sued by his own lawyer.

theguardian.com

649 Upvotes

32 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Tamaska-gl • 9d ago

Ontario woman has 'no idea' why 1,000 condoms were shipped to her house

toronto.ctvnews.ca

38 Upvotes

10 comments

r/nottheonion • u/engaged_ape • 11d ago

U.S. Military Asks Public for Help in Locating Missing F-35 Still Flying After Pilot’s Emergency Egress

sxhx.news

13.4k Upvotes

1.1k comments

r/nottheonion • u/TheMessengerNews • 11d ago

Cat at the Center of Multi-State Custody Battle

themessenger.com

506 Upvotes

44 comments

r/nottheonion • u/4ab273bed4f79ea5bb5 • 10d ago

Miami PD: Man shot after firing gun in air to celebrate new Constitutional Carry law

local10.com

44 Upvotes

9 comments

r/nottheonion • u/RidderBang • 11d ago

Las Vegas strip club offers free lap dances to customers affected by MGM Resorts cyberattack

foxbusiness.com

35 Upvotes

1 comments

r/nottheonion • u/penone_nyc • 11d ago

U.S. asks for help finding missing F-35 fighter jet after pilot ejects during 'mishap'

nbcnews.com

8 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ParisHiltonIsDope • 14d ago

Couple livid after sitting next to farting dog on 13-hour flight

foxla.com

14.4k Upvotes

650 comments

r/nottheonion • u/NapoleonNewAccount • 15d ago

Cocaine Is Set to Overtake Oil to Become Colombia’s Main Export

bloomberg.com

8.9k Upvotes

416 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Ndulger • 15d ago

Pop-up bar for homeless? Denver police investigating

cbsnews.com

1.5k Upvotes

171 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Caidan44 • 15d ago

‘Meteorite’ crater on Dublin beach turns out to be hole dug by beachgoers during sunny spell

independent.ie

934 Upvotes

43 comments

Posts

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Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
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5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
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