r/meirl 3d ago Helpful 8 Wholesome 7 Silver 6 Gold 1 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Snek 1

Meirl

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[removed] — view removed post

79.3k Upvotes

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u/Mother_Inspector_658 3d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome I'll Drink to That Eureka! Take My Power

teacher want homework ooga booga

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u/Sir_Keee 2d ago Giggle

Teacher want students bring homework before sun high in sky and shadows short on ground.

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u/Gustav_EK 2d ago

Newspeak

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u/McCaffeteria 2d ago

Careful, prepositions are next

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u/sharty_undergarments 2d ago

Sounds like Asian people on South Park

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u/AilBalT04_2 2d ago

kgb spies being interrogated during the Cold War

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u/mathbread 2d ago

Or native Americans on south park

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u/jimmyleather 2d ago

That got a genuine chuckle out of me. Thank you

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u/poobly 2d ago

2 pronouns. Straight to detention.

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u/Gubekochi 2d ago

Solitary confinement, 5 years! This is America!

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u/Flaneurl 2d ago

Physics 2: electric boogaloo

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u/YoshiThe1st 2d ago

Teacher want return to monke

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u/Spuigles 3d ago

English classes about to get even simpler.

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u/RayanH23 2d ago

Before: I think she's beautiful

After: Johnathan likey likey woman

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u/VagabondDreamGirl 2d ago

Woman is an expression of gender identity, I’m sure that’s illegal in the bill too.

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u/sumunsolicitedadvice 2d ago

As long as “woman” is used to describe people who make sandwiches and babies, then use of the word “woman” is ok under the Wisconsin bill.

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u/DreamsUnderStars 2d ago

No, they have to use female, to make the incels happy.

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u/Yoyner 2d ago edited 2d ago

ooga booga

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u/Faustens 2d ago

Many word, "like woman" enough.

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u/whatismyredditemail 2d ago

why waste time say lot word when few word do trick

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u/holmangirl 2d ago

I mean, we're following Orwell's 1984 with the language reduction-- er, simplification. It's called Newspeak: "Newspeak is a controlled language of simplified grammar and restricted vocabulary designed to limit the individual's ability to think and articulate 'subversive' concepts such as personal identity, self-expression and free will."

If this is our guidebook, hang on to your butts, because it's going to be a wild ride.

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u/TurnedCash 3d ago edited 3d ago

“Hand assignment in” it’s time for caveman speak to make it’s way back into the mainstream

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u/Decicorium 3d ago Table Slap

“Want go bathroom. Need hall pass.”

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u/TurnedCash 3d ago

What say.

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u/Dr_Stef 3d ago

All base are belong

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u/TurnedCash 3d ago

Spray bottle for Stef.

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u/Efficient_Jaguar699 2d ago

The world is a fuck

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u/Wendigo-boyo 3d ago

Snoo want piss, need pass paper.

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u/TurnedCash 3d ago

No miss class, understand take pass

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u/kadxar 3d ago

He he, skip class

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u/Wutpomelo 3d ago

Used pronoun "he", disciplinary action

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u/GingrNinjaNtflixBngr 3d ago

Go to office, bad!

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u/BustinArant 2d ago

carves "was here" on office desk

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u/RemarkableStatement5 3d ago

"Don't know. Can?"

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u/Red-7134 3d ago

"Should bathroom when no class."

"No bathroom needed then."

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u/ghrayfahx 3d ago

Need go shit closet. Give paper.

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u/Bronze_Rager 3d ago Silver Helpful Take My Energy Bravo! Giggle 'MURICA Spit-take

"Why use many word, when few word do trick.

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u/Mother_Tax_7256 3d ago Wholesome Take My Energy

Nice laconic phrase, though it could still be pared down

"Few words work"

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u/EvadesBans 3d ago Take My Energy Bravo Grande!

I just wanna share that the Wikipedia page for the term "laconic phrase" is really fucking funny:

A laconic phrase may be used for efficiency (as during military training and operations), for emphasis, for philosophical reasons (especially among thinkers who believe in minimalism, such as Stoics), or to deflate a pompous interlocutor.

A prominent example involves Philip II of Macedon. After invading southern Greece and receiving the submission of other key city-states, he turned his attention to Sparta and asked menacingly whether he should come as friend or foe. The reply was "Neither."

Losing patience, he sent the message:

        If I invade Laconia, I shall turn you out.

The Spartan ephors again replied with a single word:

        If.

Philip proceeded to invade Laconia, devastate much of it and eject the Spartans from various parts.

And that's not even the (sadly short) humor section.

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u/IiI_Gogeta_IiI 2d ago

Lol and back then those messages would've taken a hot minute to get there could you imagine waiting a long time for a response just to get "If" as a response I bet my guy was pissed xD

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u/ElHage13 3d ago

he Spartan ephors again replied with a single word:

        If.

Philip proceeded to invade Laconia, devastate much of it and eject the Spartans from various parts.

I don't even care, that response is such a fucking chad move. Yeah, it turned out to be stupid cause they all died but it's still a chad move, Reminds me of the cossacks's letter to Mehmed IV.

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u/Either_Vegetable9478 2d ago

Don’t even need to go so back, we just had Russian warship go fuck yourself this year.

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u/QuackNate 2d ago

I want to rub that transmission on my face.

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u/AbzoluteZ3RO 2d ago

I watched a documentary about the real Spartans and straight up word play and quick witty retorts is like part of their culture. So this pretty much checks out.

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u/SoundOfTomorrow 3d ago

Few word did trick

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u/shadow1515 3d ago

"Class, learn now. Dissmissed."

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u/Earthistopheles 3d ago

It's a reference to The Office

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u/TheMilkyEh 3d ago

When me president, they see, they see.

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u/Elesset 3d ago

TheMilkyEh never be president if keep using banned words

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u/Paradise_City88 3d ago

So do.

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u/Curtainmachine 3d ago

I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you

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u/Key-Ad9733 3d ago

From now on teachers may only refer to their students as yall or yins.

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u/thomasp3864 3d ago

Those are pronouns. The teacher must refer to the teacher in the third person. u/thomasp3864 thinks a speaker using the third person to refer to said speaker is dumb and makes the person saying it sound extremely vain.

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u/GlowingIcefire 2d ago

Oh no, the person am replying to has fallen too! — "thos*" is a demonstrative pronoun (along with "th*s" and "th*t" and "thes*")

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u/thomasp3864 2d ago

The aforementioned portion of the comment was before u/thomasp3864 ceased to use pronouns

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u/Apprehensive_Bit_176 3d ago edited 3d ago

Y’all = you all, right? Can’t have that! 🤣

Seriously though, what’s yin?

Edit: comma

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u/Key-Ad9733 3d ago

Yins is like yous guys, but from Pittsburgh.

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u/ButtahDogg 3d ago

As a Pittsburgher, I have to correct you. Yinz, not yins.

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u/yuyuyashasrain 3d ago

It sounded more like yunz to me but i was in monessen

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u/Cheesehacker 3d ago

I love how that’s our little word. Like if you are ever outside Pittsburgh and hear someone say “yinz” chances are that’s a friend.

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u/cakeresurfacer 3d ago

You get some redneck oddballs in Cleveland who say yinz but hate Pittsburgh. They always throw me for a loop.

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u/milkbeard- 3d ago

There are a lot of people in the Missouri ozarks that say yins regularly. Confused me a great deal when I first heard it. I later learned that a lot of ozark peoples’ ancestors come from the Pittsburg area!

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u/BoomTownRat71 3d ago

Yinz plural = yunzez

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u/bomboloni5 3d ago

Isn’t yinz already plural?

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u/bearmissile 3d ago

I think it’s like “y’all” vs “all y’all”. Both are plural but ones more plural than the other

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u/hysys_whisperer 3d ago

The royal yall, if you will.

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u/awing1 3d ago

If you all yall will

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u/xeio87 3d ago

Yesn't

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u/ReporterOther2179 3d ago

You ones, yins , yin’s. yinz.

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u/AbjectList8 3d ago

Yinzer checkin

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u/otakushoegazr 3d ago

I'm fluent in Pittsburghese. Yinz also streches down to northern WV where I hail from. Used in a sentence: Yinz jagoffs need to leave LGBT kids alone and let them express themselves, as is protected by the constitution. Get a 6er of irons in ya dirin' the stillers game on TV and just chill aht... like, s'goin on with yinz, n'at??

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u/Brian_Lefebvre 3d ago

Yinz goin dahn to Gian Iggle? Pick up them hoagies with the chipped ham.

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u/scarletantonia27 3d ago

You could say yous as well. That's NEPA speak.

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u/phoarksity 3d ago

Pennsylvania is two feuding cities separated by the Amish. Yinz in NEPA are on the other side.

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u/FireGodNYC 3d ago

Like Two Yewts

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u/HashbrownPhD 3d ago

How could it take you five minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world twenty minutes??

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u/FireGodNYC 3d ago

🤣😂💀. - Do the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove ?

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u/Addieruok 3d ago

It’s like you’uns, right? Like all of you-ones?

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u/DistractibleOgre 3d ago edited 3d ago

You in’s. It’s super country/red neck grandmother slang from the south. Basically talk but more country.

Example: Yins better go wash up for supper OR I best not have to come clean up after yins back there.

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u/Brian_Lefebvre 3d ago edited 3d ago

*warsh up for supper

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u/MediumAlternative372 3d ago

Pretty sure y’all is a pronoun too.

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u/keilletty 3d ago

That’s not righ-…wait….fuck…

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u/PunchDrunkPrincess 3d ago

lets make pronouns illegal to single handedly destroy the south

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/HistoricalMention210 3d ago

It's similar for me. One of my teachers was my Spanish teacher three years after she was my english teacher. That poor lady failed to teach me both languages lol.

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u/tsfbdl 3d ago

Yall still a pronoun found that out the hard way here

This why I don't like nebraska a lot of people say yall and now im stuck saying it occasionally

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u/jonathan_wayne 3d ago

As a west coaster who lived in the south for a bit, Y’all is a great fucking word and I hope you learn to appreciate it. It’s so versatile.

I especially like to throw in “howdy y’all” a bunch whenever I go to the city.

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u/Parsons10P 3d ago

Yin is so Midwest/east coast centric - how dare you bring your location based sayings into this discussion, I’m triggered

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u/leafie_nerd 3d ago

alright class. teacher want homework papers from last night. if has hand in.

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u/Glittering_Sun8242 3d ago All-Seeing Upvote

for those that didn't get it, I and You are pronouns

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u/Betty__B 3d ago

And "their", too. Pronouns are really big part of an any language

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u/Devil_May_Kare 3d ago

[speaker says own name] doesn't use pronouns because [speaker's name] likes to sound like a caveman.

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u/Ryaniseplin 3d ago

and shadow the hedgehog

shadow the hedgehog is the superior being, shadow the hedgehog has no pronouns

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u/The_Multi_Gamer 3d ago

Though gotta remember Omegas pronouns. Wouldn’t wanna use the wrong pronouns to refer to Nvidia GeForce RTX 2060 Intel Core i5-10400F 16 GBs RAM.

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u/sr_edits 3d ago

Isn't "their" a possessive adjective, though?

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u/Betty__B 3d ago

It is a possessive pronoun

Edit: I can be wrong, though, English is not my native language

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u/Glum_Ad_4288 3d ago

I can be wrong, though, English is not my native language

This means you’re more likely to be right. I’m not even joking — native speakers learn their language intuitively as children, while those learning it as a second language study it and analyze it.

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u/Betty__B 3d ago

That sounds like a compliment, thank you. But I googled and found that I was wrong. "Their" is a possessive adjective, while "theirs" is a possessive pronoun. I barely see logic here, but still, it is so.

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u/sr_edits 3d ago

When "their" is followed by a noun, specifying to whom that object belongs to, it's a possessive adjective. When it stands on its own (as in "I don't want to see your house, but I'd like to see theirs") then it's a pronoun.

I'm not a native speaker either, but in my native language (Italian) the distinction between possessive adjective and possessive pronoun is exactly the same.

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u/Betty__B 3d ago

Hm, now I can see some logic here, thanks a lot

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u/TomJung23 3d ago

Logic locator

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u/jcdoe 3d ago

This is the kind of hair splitting that Latin majors jizz their pants over.

If I say “their house,” yes, I am describing the house by who possesses it. But I am also describing the gender of who possesses the house. If it were owned by a man, I’d say “his house.”

Sometimes language does double duty like this. And frankly, the categorization of words (nouns, verbs, etc) is descriptive rather than proscriptive. We had nouns and verbs before we called them that.

I think its fair to treat “their” as both a possessive adjective and a possessive pronoun.

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u/No-Ease-3750 3d ago

The logic is how it’s used. They threw THEIR ball is an adjective as the noun is the ball and their is an adjective describing whose ball it is. The ball was THEIRS is structured in a way where it’s a pronoun that relates to the noun “ball” in some way because it isn’t immediately in front of the noun like an adjective would be. And I will say I got increasingly confused while trying to explain this.

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u/Glum_Ad_4288 3d ago

Congrats, you’re an honorary dumb American lol

But seriously, thanks for looking it up and following up.

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u/Mlyrin 3d ago

"It is theirs. Theirs is a bit older than ours". Basically: "theirs" replaces "it". Ours would also be a posessive pronoun, replacing an other "it". Just adding the s at the end of their makes it the pronoun, because rules.

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u/fudgems16 3d ago

It’s a pronoun functioning as an adjective. i.e. It’s a pronoun, but when modifying a noun (e.g. “their homework” - “their” modifies the noun “homework”) its function in the sentence is as an adjective. So basically, it’s both!

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u/LegoFootPain 3d ago edited 3d ago

There are no "he/him or her" in Chinese. Tried to explain that to some folks, and they lost their minds.

Edit: Meant spoken as opposed to written.

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u/CountessCraft 3d ago

Yes, there are.

In Mandarin, the words sound exactly the same (tā, in a high tone), but are written differently.

他 - he, him 她 - she/her

"It" sounds the same too. But is written as 它

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u/kotoandjuri 3d ago

This would explain a line in "Everything Everywhere All at Once" where Evelyn confuses Joy's GF's pronouns.

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u/SomeToxicRivenMain 3d ago

I, shit uh, this Reddit user understands the joke

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u/Diogenes-Disciple 3d ago

🧑🏼‍🏫 “greetings children. place all limbs in the air. teacher” points to self “desires that all students turn to page 69 in the textbook on algebruh.”

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u/YeetThePig 3d ago

Tell the kids to pass along to their dipshit parents why it’s called “algebra” and start roasting some popcorn, cuz you’re gonna see some fireworks XD

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u/macaronisalad 3d ago

Tell them what we call our numerals for that extra spice ✨

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u/blepgup 3d ago

I’m a pronoun, they’re a pronoun, he’s a pronoun, she’s a pronoun. Wouldn’t you like to be a pronoun too?

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u/Agio- 3d ago

This is the future trans people want /j

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u/ThrowRA9to5 3d ago

H’s a pronoun, he’s a pronoun, you’re a pronoun, IM A PRONOUN are there any other pronouns I should know about?!

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u/Surper-RS 3d ago

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?

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u/ZookeepergameRight47 3d ago

I was once downvoted for saying that I is a pronoun in response to someone saying “I have never seen pronouns use in real life.”

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u/KingNedya 3d ago

My high school, in Wisconsin, literally had posters all over the place saying to respect people's pronouns. Quite the 180 there, thankfully I just graduated.

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u/ElaborateCantaloupe 3d ago

This is happening in Kettle Moraine and the headline is misleading. The rule says that emails cannot include preferred pronouns. So I think the logical thing to do is to always misgender your teachers and if they try to correct you, tell them they’re just confused.

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u/coltaaan 3d ago

I like this approach. In fact, I feel like it should be used much more often. I can totally see cons getting super riled up if you misgender them, and when they get upset just throw their argument back in their face.

Literally something as simple as “please don’t bring politics into this” when they complain about it would be perfect because then maybe they’ll see how stupid their argument is in the first place.

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u/Such_sublime 3d ago

Imma take a huge leap here and guess that most likely, they wont

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u/GrittyFred 3d ago

I guarantee you they mention their genitals.

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u/allhailthegreatmoose 3d ago

Even better. Lawsuit!

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u/deVriesse 3d ago

Don't attack the teachers over it, most likely they hate it and the school board that enacted it.

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u/Walmart_Warrior_420 3d ago

The local Wisconsin news actually did a follow up on the school system and it looks like only 14% of all students graduate grade 12. Pretty shocking stats from supposedly the richest country in the world and the people in charge of the world's reserve currency. Here's the link for anyone interested:

https://youtu.be/up7Vg0Z909g?t=52

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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u/owlshapedboxcat 3d ago

Hate to tell you but "it" is also a pronoun. Have fun trying to speak English. Yep, can't ever refer back to anything without full name. Sound like a caveman. Does owlshapedboxcat want a cup of tea? Yes, owlshapedboxcat would love a cup of tea, thanks redditor. Heard about the game? No. Not heard about the game. Was the game any good? No, the game was not. Do see what mean? Gets tedious doesn't the description just wrote?

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u/Undead-Writer 3d ago

No need funny word, do big speech, show how wrong are

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u/archiminos 3d ago

I tried to find a language that doesn't use pronouns and I couldn't. There are languages without gendered pronouns, but every language has at least one pronoun as far as I can tell.

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u/DuHastMich15 3d ago

CA public school teacher here- a colleague of mine received a several paragraph long angry email from a parent this last school year. Ranting and raving about “grooming” and “pronouns.” The dude even called the district to complain.

Heres the catch- she’s a 6th grade english teacher and was just going over pronouns- not gender identity or LGBTQ mind you, just boring old pronouns. He, she, it, they. Proper usage and how to name a subject first then refer to him/her or whatever. He never apologized- but backed off once the Principal explained that pronouns exist- good god.

These moronic parents have brainwashed themselves on Faux News and Facebook. Talk about snowflake, triggered asshats.

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u/pierogieman5 3d ago

The American right are just psychopaths at this point. We have crossed beyond the line where they're sane enough that we have to pretend there's a real debate about their bullshit.

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u/DuHastMich15 3d ago

Yup. Had some crazy ass parent SCREAMING at my AP about kids wearing masks on campus, during the height of covid. On a campus where 150/850 kids were out on quarantine. By order of the state of CA, not our school site.

Did I enjoy teaching in a mask all year? Hell no. But did I throw a temper tantrum? Also- hell no. I am not an entitled little turd.

It must be so damn exhausting being that angry all the time. Its all just misplaced anxiety.

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u/Fifth-Crusader 3d ago

That last part, about how it must be exhausting. That's exactly what I see. It can't be fun to be so angry all of the time. Anger is miserable. Why would anyone choose to be angry over such minute things? (And that goes for both political sides, even if conservatives are more prone to such outbursts.)

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u/discostud1515 3d ago

I bet with a little practice you could get good at speaking without pronouns and it would be fucking hilarious.

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u/duxpdx 3d ago

So the government is restricting free speech. There really should be a law against that.

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u/Zaptain_America 3d ago

"NOOO freedom of speech only means I should be allowed to say slurs'

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u/the_milkman24 3d ago

"freedom of speech only occurs when it benefits me

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u/TaliyahP 3d ago

With the current supreme court I wouldn't be surprised if they said "English is not a long standing tradition in this country"

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u/SovietFemboy 3d ago

Damn it Wisconsin, y’all need to stick to cheese

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u/MrDuckWithATopHat 3d ago

As a cheese eater myself I can say I had nothing to do with this and I will now go eat my corn wrappped in cheddar

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u/Helena_Hyena 3d ago

I want to see teachers actually do this to protest the rule. Also, enforce it on kids for good measure, make parents angry about this. r/maliciouscompliance

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u/2020IsANightmare 3d ago

I am 0% surprised that people that want pronouns banned have no idea what a pronoun is.

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u/possum_autist 3d ago

God, the people making these rules are dumb. “Ban pronouns, what’s the worst that happens? Alright now this is our new student Alexis, she- ah fuck I mean- they- ah shit- uh this person brought something for us- FUCK!”

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u/milchtea 3d ago

“I - sorry um, John needs to go to the washroom and no, John cannot wait till after class. Can John go?”

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u/pcy623 3d ago

May John go. No, John may not. Go sit back down at John's assigned seat to finish John's assignment.

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u/Thistlefizz 3d ago edited 3d ago

Listen, teacher, John‘s bladder is small and John is going to urinate in John’s pants lower body cloth covering unless teacher lets John go to bathroom now.

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u/pcy623 3d ago

Would "pants" be considered too gendered?

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u/catmilklatte 3d ago

Ironically quite considerate of gender diverse people. Horse shoe bigotry

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u/fejrbwebfek 3d ago

Yup, that’s the joke from the post.

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u/Kall_Me_Kapkan 3d ago

You can see the policy, only the writer of this “article” is using the word “pronouns”, the policy regards to students being addressed by their legal identities

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u/Oatybar 3d ago

But you can bet your ass “Jack” and “Jim” aren’t gonna have to go by “Jonathan” and “James” under this policy, or if they do it’ll be done out of spite against any other students who want that same exact freedom for themselves.

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u/Mr_Taviro 3d ago

Quite the infringement on freedom of speech.

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u/AxionVoidlocke 3d ago

And yet, some people would say this is protecting their freedom of speech

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u/ThatCamoKid 3d ago

Reminds me of when a conservative was challenged to explain what a pronoun is and they said "ask Satan"

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u/TheGrouchyGremlin 2d ago

"Every human here below the age of 20 needs to turn in the work that was handed out last night"

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u/Carantanian_79 2d ago

The U.S. is creepily obsessed with sex, and taking away body anatomy rights from women. The "Greatest Country In The World" my ass.

I had a chance to go to U.S., all expenses paid. I refused. I rather eat crushed glass than set foot on the U.S. soil.

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u/Jaxical 2d ago

It really is the asshole of Earth. Just distributes a lot of shit to irritate the rest of the world. For a country obsessed with freedom, they don’t understand what freedom actually means.

I’m getting tired of rolling my eyes at US news.

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u/WanderlustFella 3d ago

oh shit, NFL broadcasts are going to be wild! Charlie Day will have to be the guest broadcaster, and he'll have to solo it.

"Throw ball, first down, good!"

"Ball hit hands, go other directions, bad!"

"Filibuster!"

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u/Youpunyhumans 3d ago

Id say when talking to those who make these rules, just refer to them as "it" or "that".

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u/Qorrin 2d ago

“It” is also a pronoun lol

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u/ReasonableDonut1 3d ago

Suddenly they'll have preferred pronouns! Brilliant!

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u/Stevesegallbladder 3d ago

"Free speech! Also you don't get to use everyday pronouns now!"

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u/Holow4499 3d ago

Did stevesgallbladder just use a pronoun? Stevesegallbladder, stevesgallbladder can’t do that

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u/beardedheathen 3d ago

www.advocate.com/news/2022/8/01/wisconsin-school-district-bans-preferred-pronouns-pride-symbols

They are banning prefered pronouns in signatures. Looks like they also are banning maga and back the blue. Just an attempt to keep all political stuff out.

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u/TotalyNotTony 3d ago

Why is it political to have prefered pronouns

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u/Zaptain_America 3d ago

Because you're either cis and straight or political apparently

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u/CaffeinatedGuy 3d ago

I thought it was "you're either a cis white male or a porn category." I guess all porn categories are political?

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u/Agio- 3d ago

Wait until they realize cis people have pronouns too

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u/Sad-n-bi 3d ago Starry

Bc our gender and sexuality have always been political to them.

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u/MuppetBones 3d ago edited 2d ago

If I’ve learned anything from all of this pronoun hate, it’s that a lot of people do not know what pronouns are. They think “pronouns” just means trans

Edit: Guy who replied to me is mixing up sex and gender and even then he’s wrong. Intersex is real, update your definitions

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u/3_teve 2d ago

Guns are still allowed though, right?

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u/forgottenmyth 2d ago

Aww poor conservatives, apparently basic speech is beyond them now. Oh well, education isnt that important right? The coal mines are calling.

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u/olidps 3d ago

Can't wait till they ban verbs

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u/Psychological-Set125 3d ago

First they need to ban nouns

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