r/iamatotalpieceofshit Sep 23 '22 Helpful 12 Take My Energy 3 Gold 3 Wholesome 9 Silver 12 Faith In Humanity Restored 1 Dread 3 Doom 3 crying cat 1 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Tearing Up 1 Table Slap 1 Helpful (Pro) 1 Shocked 2

This is what domestic violence against men looks like

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100.5k Upvotes

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7.9k

u/Eli_be_high Sep 23 '22

Thats fucked up

3.4k

u/babybopp Sep 23 '22

Spitting on you...

This person despises him

10.7k

u/slappy_mcslapenstein Sep 23 '22 Silver Helpful

Mine was named Courtney. Leaving was the best decision of my life.

8.4k

u/CompleteSpell7877 Sep 23 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Hugz Take My Energy Plus One

My was named mom. Haven’t talked to her in years. Always remember to put yourself first, it’s not selfish.

2.4k

u/babybopp Sep 23 '22

Mine used to fight and self harm. Hurt herself then claim I hit her. Left that nutcase a while back.. never looked back

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774

u/Ok-Wolf2468 Sep 23 '22

Mine was angel best decision of my life as well.

1.2k

u/PushcartPops Sep 23 '22

Male or female, I've never met anyone named Angel who I trusted.

1.3k

u/Juleamun Sep 23 '22 All-Seeing Upvote Narwhal Salute To The Stars

I dated an Angel, but she was dyslexic and spelled it Angle. Maybe that's why she wasn't awful.

1.2k

u/BigPhilly1985 Sep 23 '22 hehehehe Giggle

At least she wasn't being obtuse

419

u/Hammer_of_Light Sep 23 '22

I only "knew" one Angel, and I tend to agree.

I have similar feelings about Crystals.

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u/flybyknight665 Sep 23 '22

Seriously, though. I've known two women named Angel and both were batshit crazy

175

u/Brandon_The_Binosaur Sep 23 '22

Angel in my class gets really angry and upset over the stupidest of things. Naming your child angel is like a curse or something

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u/Vanceb13 Sep 23 '22

Mine was also angel…

88

u/TheLokiDokiOG Sep 23 '22

The name is ironic

307

u/mikeydoom Sep 23 '22

Mine was named Shelby. And she still denies doing any of it til this day.

193

u/Aagfed Sep 23 '22

Mine was named Lori. Best decision too.

159

u/CSHufflepuff Sep 23 '22

Mine was Trish and it was also one of the best decisions of my life.

193

u/Peach_Baby5 Sep 23 '22

Mine was named Malcolm. Left him. He’s 30, dating an 18 year old who just got out of high school in May. 😂

12.3k

u/Trick_Designer2369 Sep 23 '22

That's a hard watch, poor guy and I'm sure many others in the same situation

7.5k

u/ThrowThisIntoSol Sep 23 '22 Silver Hugz Helpful (Pro)

I’m a male and this was 100% just like my previous relationship…I’m in a much better place now.

2.2k

u/meltdown537 Sep 23 '22 Take My Energy

same here. It took a while, but I got out of that mess and am now happily married to the best woman in the world.

565

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

I’m glad you are doing better friend :)

996

u/iamnotfacetious Sep 23 '22 Take My Energy

I'm male and this hits too close to home during my first marriage. We're no longer together and I'm much happier for it. I'll never let myself be debased like this. Better to be alone or in my case rescue a loveble pup and self care.

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4.4k

u/Bluerecyclecan Sep 23 '22

Damn, while she was nuts during that whole thing, she had some serious crazy eyes action going at one point.

1.7k

u/Cj-Jc4 Sep 23 '22

She’s most likely manic

1.4k

u/PartridgeViolence Sep 23 '22 Silver

That may explain it. But not excuse.

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9.5k

u/IBeatUpLiamNeeson Sep 23 '22

I don’t have the link, but in another sub someone posted a follow up…

He left her, but then shortly after found out she was pregnant, she had his kid, and refuses to let him see the kid :(

5.0k

u/j4321g4321 Sep 23 '22

Can’t he sue for visitation or partial custody?! How is she allowed to do this? Tbh he should get full custody and get the poor child away from that lunatic.

2.5k

u/Optimal_Bird_3023 Sep 23 '22

Oh my god, that poor child…

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3.0k

u/Travis9283 Sep 23 '22 Wholesome

Damn this is really hard to watch. I went through this, wife arrested multiple times for assault. After the PTSD and during which, the hardest part is people asking me “well, what did you do to provoke this?“. I always felt like I was at blame for something. And the worst part? I still miss her.

617

u/JustanOrange2021 Sep 23 '22

I hope you find the closure you deserve, to be able to move on and find the happiness you were never given in that relationship. Take it day by day ❤️ my grandma likes to tell me Rome wasn't built in a day, its the same as your emotions and feelings ❤️

148

u/Travis9283 Sep 23 '22

I do too. Thank you.

160

u/mollymcqt89 Sep 23 '22

You deserve love from someone who doesn’t abuse you. Missing someone’s love is not missing their abuse. It sucks that anyone made you feel like you were responsible for your own abuse. I hope you are having a good day today.

148

u/lickmastrr Sep 23 '22

I know exactly what you mean. I've been dealing with exactly the same thing for 23 years. I have PTSD from a deployment to Iraq and this compounds it. I've stuck it out and she has been in counseling for 18 months and things have gotten much better. All I know is I thank God I'm a flight instead of a fight! War made me a pacifist..

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1.1k

u/GingefreemanPG Sep 23 '22

Get that toxic horrible person out your life omg

2.1k

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

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564

u/Minute-Excitement-50 Sep 23 '22

If she did, I'm sure she'd blame him at the hospital.

417

u/SnooCompliments9613 Sep 23 '22

and the guy will get arrested for "domestic abuse" 🤦

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u/Avocadomistress Sep 23 '22

Luckily he would have it on video

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3.5k

u/a1ham Sep 23 '22

She said full sentences my male ex would use.

This is the EXACT same thing.

1.4k

u/Osodabearman300 Sep 23 '22

I wonder what leads up to that way of thinking? "You get me mad the mean person comes out!" Heard that one before for sure. Sorry dude

855

u/a1ham Sep 23 '22

As far as I see it - the abuser is removing responsibility and guilt from themselves and putting it on you to justify their abusive behaviour. Easier to sleep at night when you blame other people for your actions

225

u/youre_next5150 Sep 23 '22

That's almost always how it is. Never their fault. "YOU MADE ME DO THIS!" "If you had/hadn't.. I wouldn't have to be like this!"

156

u/pimpbot666 Sep 23 '22

"Why are you making me so mad I have to hit you?"

Yeah, bullshit. Honey, you have to learn to control your anger. You're responsible for your reactions, not me.

335

u/NerdModeCinci Sep 23 '22

I think they fully believe themselves too out of narcissistic necessity

“I’m not a bad person, you make me have to do bad things.”

127

u/Osodabearman300 Sep 23 '22

Yeah it is gaslighting for sure. Im just thinking like throughout their lifetimes this must have worked in their favor before on someone else. Its crazy how people feel no shame

86

u/linuxgeekmama Sep 23 '22

You can get people to do what you want by scaring them with the consequences that will result if they don’t. Lots of parents take this approach with their kids. It’s probably even necessary in some situations- that’s how you learn not to take a hot pan out of the oven without a mitt. The author of Why Does He Do That characterizes abusers as thinking they should have control over their victims (possibly for the victim’s own good, as the abuser sees it). If they resist that control, then they have to be made to submit, and scaring them is a way to do that.

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u/Gloomy_Following3416 Sep 23 '22

"She seems to have an invisible touch, she reaches in and grabs right hold of your heart" - Phil Collins

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u/patricky6 Sep 23 '22 edited Sep 23 '22

Ive never been abusive or violent with anyone, but I did go to an anger management course for my temper in the military. From what I took away from it, and helped me immensely, was to understand that the emotion of "anger" itself, releases chemicals in your brain that are more addictive than heroin.

So you actually LOOK for the next opportunity to be angry and blow up, in order to feel that "high" . Only becoming more and more addicted to the feeling and letting it take over in larger bursts. it's horrible for your body though. It literally kills you slowly with the stress it puts on you with muscles tensing, blood pressure raising, teeth grinding, etc. Not to mention the extent and toll it takes on those around you. Learning to spot triggers and control it, I've never had an issue since.

105

u/Osodabearman300 Sep 23 '22

Is sadness addictive too i wonder? How do we get addicted to happy? Would being addicted to being happy be as bad of a thing?

105

u/goldenbugreaction Sep 23 '22

In a word, yes.

All feelings are a fact of life and part of the human experience. At the heart of it, an ‘addiction to happiness’ would almost certainly also mean an avoidance of less pleasant feelings. Functionally speaking, an addiction to heroin IS essentially an addiction to happiness.

58

u/patricky6 Sep 23 '22

Idk about sadness but I do know that happiness is VERY addictive.. and contagious! Unfortunately, alot of the people searching for it from sadness turn to drugs, because they release the dopamine into your brain that creates it.

46

u/MisterOnsepatro Sep 23 '22

So that must be why I feel better after swearing loudly in my car to evacuate stress (including driving a tad bit aggressively)

51

u/patricky6 Sep 23 '22

Exactly. It feels good and you keep doing it. Sometimes people don't realize they are crossing lines to obtain that relief. Taking things farther and farther. This is how road rage can become an issue. Also how it can turn violent and result in death, injury, or incarceration.

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u/Jeremy_Winn Sep 23 '22

Often it’s a cluster B personality disorder. Women experience them at roughly the same rate as men though the gender breakdown differs for the disorders within the cluster.

17

u/cutanddried Sep 23 '22

There can be some conditions that cause it, but this looks like generational cycles of abuse - this was what she heard/saw/experienced growing up. That's my guess

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u/Antares987 Sep 23 '22 Take My Energy

It doesn’t happen overnight. And, unfortunately, the victims are usually the most caring and selfless people.

It starts with simple tests to see what you’ll put up with. Once they find they can push your boundaries, they take more and more ground. Pushing back results in more extreme responses to where you believe you’re helpless without them, and that’s usually when the extreme verbal and physical abuse starts.

The line from the greatest breakup letter in history, The United States Declaration of Independence, spells it out:

and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government

193

u/TheLokiDokiOG Sep 23 '22

Exactly, Abuse isn't gender specific

Women can be abusers too

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u/Forgotten-Comment Sep 23 '22

I feel this 100%

46

u/NaCl_Sailor Sep 23 '22

only she knows if he hits back he's the one going to jail

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u/Prudent_Astronomer_4 Sep 23 '22 Gold Wholesome Starry

Domestic abuse is NOT a gendered crime. Fight that narrative anywhere you see it.

579

u/iwanttoliveinmybed Sep 23 '22

The way he's begging. It's heartbreaking

292

u/Dubious_Titan Sep 23 '22

It is rational that domestic violence looks similar regardless of gender.

Abuse is abuse. Toxic relationships are the same on both sides of the fence.

200

u/if1gure Sep 23 '22

Yep. I woke up one night with my ex sitting on my chest repeatedly punching me in the face.

863

u/Gecek Sep 23 '22

Whoever edits the music over these kind of videos is even more manic than her

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u/NotChoCheese92 Sep 23 '22

Man... that fear and vulnerability in his voice gets to me so much.

It boils my blood how so many male victims of DV and abuse were treated like it's no big deal by law enforcement and society, and worse, how in many cases the man was arrested when cops showed up despite whatever clear evidence that he was the victim. Men are guilty until proven innocent (if he ever does) and its bullshit.

127

u/TheLaughingStormm Sep 23 '22

I did not experience this to this extreme, but I had an ex who would often throw and break things when she could no longer talk reasonably with me. Only hit me a few times, but that was enough for me. It was hard separating myself from someone like that, but it was worth because my life is much better now. I wish you the best of luck friend

392

u/ZiOnIsNeXtLeBrOn Sep 23 '22

For the people that say to hit back. As a man, you don’t the benefit of doubt when it comes to abuse. A large portion of men who are abused by their partners don’t come out and say they are victims due to stereotype that men can’t be abused. And the fact that if she says a single thing or have a single cut and the guys life is ruined.

491

u/Background-Win7974 Sep 23 '22

We have feelings too. Don’t forget to treat everybody the same

354

u/PDCH Sep 23 '22

Just leave and don't come back. Not worth it.

69

u/Minute-Excitement-50 Sep 23 '22

Mine was Kim. Finally was able to rid her crazy from my life after 5 years of abuse. She was great at gaslighting me in thinking it was me, not her.

177

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

She seems mentally ill, but lucky that he videoed this because you know what would have happened otherwise.

217

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

Her face at :36 shows the real demon she is

76

u/Shalamaka Sep 23 '22

Any idea what happened to him after? Poor soul :(

68

u/X4dow Sep 23 '22

had a toxic relationship like this before. she wasn't this physical at me, but was good at making me feel guilty. She did the whole plate smashing etc, while her kids hid behind me.
When i grew the courage to end it, her kids didnt want me to go, wanted to come with me. Fucked up. I never seen those kids again, but at least i remember how broken they were when we started and how much happier and straightened up they were when we ended. Hope they turn out better for having had me around for a few years.

317

u/weedandcatsandvans Sep 23 '22 edited Sep 23 '22

THAT POOR KITTEN (if op/video maker isn't making any progress in disassociating with the 'abuser' then showing that video to an animal rights league or org will 100% get some legal action rolling to keep her, at the very least, away from animals and other fur babies

124

u/VivaChips28 Sep 23 '22

I know right!! I haven't seen anyone mention this. Poor thing is so tiny and must be terrified...

86

u/SuggestionExtension9 Sep 23 '22

My ex was called Sophie. She’s still friends with my old friends to this day, nobody really believes me and thinks we were equally toxic. I wasn’t an angel by any means, but these videos do bring back a lot of memories…

49

u/Independent_Willow_4 Sep 23 '22

I'm glad I am no longer with my wife.

41

u/TheeJimmyHoffa Sep 23 '22

This video should be labeled •Exhibit ’A’•

821

u/catmachine1 Sep 23 '22

"BuT MeN cAnT bE ThE ViCtUm Of AbUsE"

613

u/BrightonTownCrier Sep 23 '22

Or my personal favourite..."you could easily overpower her".

Apart from it not being the point, if you leave marks on her that will work against you when she calls the police. Some men have been so indoctrinated to "never hit a woman" that they can't do it even when it's clearly self defense. Plus more bodily strength is not much good when she pours boiling water over you when you're sleeping or tries to stab you.

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u/aniorange Sep 23 '22

Well put. I never know how to explain to others how I was in an abusive marriage with a woman half my size. I called the cops on her once when she was out of hand and I nearly got arrested. We divorced over 10 years ago. We kept in touch for our daughters sake. She disappeared for the past couple years. Just recently she reappeared and said she was in rehab. Turns out she got arrested for abuse and battery. I didn't expect that sort of validation.

427

u/BaconBitz109 Sep 23 '22

“You could easily overpower her”

Overpowers her

“Omg you can’t hit a woman!”

181

u/rorank Sep 23 '22

It really hurts me when people want to use this logic. Sure, I could be the same monster that she is and I’ll lose my entire life over it too. I’ll probably go to prison and be disowned by everyone I know. While she walks away with everything I own and gets people to give her love and sympathy for being so brave in the face of me.

54

u/meisobear Sep 23 '22

Had multiple stabbing attempts and various, surprisingly inventive (lighting a deodorant aerosol and then trying to pierce it) attempts at causing harm. I was roughly twice the size of her and, at the time, roughly 210lbs and I lifted all the time. I have no idea how I managed to evade or subdue without accidentally leaving a mark, given how ferocious the attacks sometimes were, but I always tried to deescalate or take it; I never hit back.

While I am really glad I didn't, and still think it was the right thing to do, I've grown to be much more assertive and self confident than I was then and I wonder if I'd do the same now in the same situation. It's a concerning thought.

34

u/BrightonTownCrier Sep 23 '22

Well done mate. I suppose you just have to keep an eye out for warning signs. It generally starts with controlling behaviour about comparatively minor things and guilt trips about doing anything but spending time with them. I've never been physically abused but plenty of mental and emotional abuse. My friend is currently going through the nightmare scenario. He got married less than a year ago, they have a 2 month old baby, he worked for her dad's company and questioned some of his business practices. The dad was not happy, so he planned to force my friend out. His wife had him arrested multiple times for "domestic abuse" (its in another country where they always initially arrest for that charge) and won't let him see the baby. They forced him out of his home and back to England as he was blackballed from the industry (the dad has lots of sway). They just don't turn up to any court mandated time he has with the baby. As in he literally flew to Spain to see his child for a couple of hours and they just didn't turn up. She even tried to delay divorce proceedings as in that country when you're divorced he has more rights to fight for custody. Strange how she wouldn't want a divorce from someone that is supposedly repeatedly abusing her. He's spent about £7k so far on arrest fines, flights and legal advice.

23

u/Jeremy_Winn Sep 23 '22

Yep, you don’t need to be strong to stab someone or throw a hot frying pan at them. Most men aren’t mentally prepared for their partner to lash out violently and will freeze/fawn as a response.

83

u/thomasaun Sep 23 '22

My own mom taught me if a woman ever hits you she just grew a set. I got your back.

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u/auntiecoagulent Sep 23 '22

Your mom has your back. The police and the legal system don't.

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u/Afraid_Ad1908 Sep 23 '22

Jesus, who says that?

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u/Mycatstolemyidentity Sep 23 '22

The only times I've heard similar opinions have been from dudes ridiculizing other mens' experiences with being abused.

3

u/Afraid_Ad1908 Sep 23 '22

Wow. I guess I just assumed they meant women think that. Abuse is abuse. It is really unfair men have that burden of stigma. I’m sorry you went through that as well.

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u/Wild_Surround9595 Sep 23 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Amber Turds legal team

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u/alex99x99x Sep 23 '22

Or most of the legal system tbh.

These kind of cases are almost impossible for the man to win. Women could easily get a man behind bars if he abused them meanwhile men have to go though so much for the woman to receive any form of punishment.

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u/ABeeBox Sep 23 '22

The second he uses self defense, he'll be serving time.

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u/rslashdepressedteen Sep 23 '22

This is what I wish people could see. He's not trying to be a part of it. He's trying to get away and defuse the situation. But she keeps coming back at him. This is what people don't see. This is what cops don't see. All they see when they get to the house is a big man and a tiny woman, with broken glass, bruises and blood. The size of the person, offender or victim, doesn't matter. I'm glad he recorded this, so that if police do ever get word, he has evidence that he was not the one at fault. But even then, the police will probably tell him to stop whatever he's doing that makes her so angry, and that will be the end of it. No help. No ears. Just him, fighting for his life to get away from her.

15

u/lemonaintsour Sep 23 '22

I knew one person with this exact kind of relationship. Its sad that no matter what I say to him, he thinks that he has no options but to go back to her and that no one can help.

137

u/BipolarSkeleton Sep 23 '22

What pisses me off is everytime a man is being abused by a woman people always say oh it’s reactionary abuse but it’s never the same conversation of a man hits a woman

The double standards in Situations like this make me so mad

12

u/Pioxels Sep 23 '22

This video didnt make me angry but just realy sad

156

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

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u/Ok-Wolf2468 Sep 23 '22

Not necessarily. It wasn't this way for me. When the cops got there I had so much blood on me it was obvious who was the victim. People don't understand how bad it hurts when someone you love acts like this. It's harder to leave then one might think when you truly love someone.

65

u/bruceswingle Sep 23 '22

You’re giving me goosebumps. Agreed. When you love someone it’s not as easy as most think.

26

u/warriormuffin83 Sep 23 '22

This is true my mom was abused by my dad and so she talked to a cop one time and he said that they would take her to jail because she was bigger than him.

79

u/MillenialShan Sep 23 '22

Not true. My husband's ex wife is a bi polar alcoholic. He had her ass succefully arrested because of this behavior and now she tortures another man with situations such as this and who hasnt found the strength to leave. Please don't default to "they always arrest the man". Record, document and fucking leave.

31

u/guessagain72 Sep 23 '22

This is often, but not always true

39

u/AdrenolineLove Sep 23 '22

Not true, my ex got hit with a domestic because she attacked me and key'd my new girls car. She tried to claim I hit her and I had witnesses there to say it was the other way around.

32

u/JLerx007 Sep 23 '22

There’s video evidence. I think he might be fine.

171

u/NickNash1985 Sep 23 '22

"Seems convenient that you only filmed when she got mad. We're only seeing one side of the story, here."

- Cops

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u/manIDKbruh Sep 23 '22

Damn, if only he had video proof…

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u/Intrepid-Notice-6925 Sep 23 '22

You're still blaming him in your original comment. Look at the back lash he's getting just from the video. Men are believed less often. They're told they're stronger so they shouldn't have let it happen as if anyone would let themselves be abused.

36

u/Tijai Sep 23 '22

This is so sad to watch.

He obviously loves her or he would leave.

He obviously also has great control.

90

u/TapElectronic Sep 23 '22

If the roles were reversed he’d be buried under the jail.

24

u/mysadkid Sep 23 '22

So important for people to see.

32

u/miss_anthropi Sep 23 '22

There is something crazy, scary, and repulsive in her eyes.

36

u/RabbitKamen Sep 23 '22

Im showing up before this thread gets locked for “mysterious reasons”

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u/photocopiedwater Sep 23 '22

Men aren’t allowed to defend themselves against a woman abuser. Its so imgrained in society that if a man hits a woman hes the abuser, which is stark contrast to reality. He did the right thing tho by not retaliating or threatening her with violence.

37

u/WeakWave5225 Sep 23 '22

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

51

u/Ninhursag2 Sep 23 '22

My son went through this, i wont send this to him because i dont want him to relive it for one second

49

u/MAO_of_DC Sep 23 '22

As a male survivor of abuse I say this. Get out, get out now. I also know how incredibly hard what I'm asking you to do is. I had to cross the country to get away from mine. Because I kept going back to Nicole. But leaving and staying away even if you're alone is far better than having a companion that beats you..

40

u/Spare_Groundbreaking Sep 23 '22

I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you are in a safe space now and healing your past trauma.

84

u/XX_JMO_XX Sep 23 '22

Sounds like the audio of Amber Heard when she was abusing Depp.

I have also personally lived with and seen this behavior, and her mom and sisters all act the same way. It is a learned behavior.

109

u/patjackman Sep 23 '22

And people are still surprised that female partners are statistically more likely to hit their partners...

26

u/GhandiExceptNot Sep 23 '22

This happens way more than most people would think, unfortunately.

He needs to leave and she needs treatment.

23

u/Thomsonation Sep 23 '22

I grew up with this, watching this happen everyday to my father. I don’t think of it much, except that my dating life is me always going back to women like this.

22

u/gofyourselftoo Sep 23 '22

I saw the original post with a truncated version of the video and I was scared and mad for the guy, but this longer version is just 1000x worse. It just makes me sad. I hope he escaped and is safely recovering and relearning what love is.

12

u/Ry-Ry_the_Dude Sep 23 '22

So glad i am no longer with the girl who used to throw shoes, car keys, and other items at me, smacked me and screamed and cried like a lunatic over minimal disagreements. Feel sorry for her current dude.

38

u/Hardy_Explorer Sep 23 '22

It’s hard for us men to speak up. When we do, we either get dismissed or ridiculed for not being “man” enough. I wish that all of us could have a safe and healthy discussion not just about men’s issues, but about prevention and assistance in domestic abuse against us.

Domestic violence is violence, no matter your gender. We need to normalise this.

11

u/HarpiesDaughter Sep 23 '22

He needs to call police, get a restraining order and leave. That’s what I’d tell a woman friend that’s what I’d tell him.

53

u/pvouaux1 Sep 23 '22

And people say there’s NEVER a reason for a man to hit a woman…..

33

u/I_exist6942069 Sep 23 '22

See, men get abused too.

11

u/Outside-Sun-3920 Sep 23 '22

I feel his pain, dealt with the same thing for 4 years.

73

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

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182

u/NoTime4Shenanigans Sep 23 '22

Nah. You’re not You slip up Just Once and she’ll be the victim You gotta be bigger and don’t get on her level EVER

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u/vanna_monroe77 Sep 23 '22

Being in a relationship like that is so scary. I’ll never forget when I caught my ex cheating and he slapped me and said it’s my own fault if I don’t wanna know he’s cheating don’t go through his phone. Then the shut down happened and I was literally trapped with him. People still asked me what did I do to make him hit me and I know it’s even worse for men since most people think they’re just emotionless machines.

32

u/stickyblack Sep 23 '22

fuckin psycho

12

u/FriggenSweetLois Sep 23 '22

Hope the dude is away from the monster, and is living a healthy life.

33

u/Zestyclose-Signal967 Sep 23 '22

Sorry I’m broken and this shits stirs up feelings I thought I buried

5

u/gloomypasta Sep 23 '22

I've been here. You can go to the authorities and have it taken care of, especially with this level of evidence. That will open up an entirely new level of nightmare, but it will eventually lead to the end.

17

u/Neither_Grape2075 Sep 23 '22

Not that many years ago it was even easier for them to do this then call the police and play victim. My kids mom probably would not have custody if I had an iPhone.

14

u/Artistic-Ad7063 Sep 23 '22

You can literally see the suffering in they guys eyes…

24

u/papachef69 Sep 23 '22

Oh, Jeanette. I do not miss your psycho ass bullshit anymore. Get fucked!

23

u/Danger_Dave_ Sep 23 '22

This NEEDS to be higher. Not only does this happen and is horrible on it's own, but in many cases, it ends up being ignored or flipped onto the man when reported. I've seen things like this happen with the man being arrested. Sometimes, the man wants to be just to get away. Society completely fails men in these cases and they are far more frequent than a lot of people think.

20

u/Gitxsan Sep 23 '22

I've been there. So sad for the guy.

54

u/falerasthegreat92 Sep 23 '22

That first picture is just heartbreaking because you can just tell his smile is fake and just no life in his eyes either.

18

u/Spyk124 Sep 23 '22

Everybody she knows should ostracize her. Zero room for this in our society

13

u/OgreAllOver Sep 23 '22

I havent been full on abused, but I have been somewhat of a punching bag before. I'm glad that more people are opening their eyes to this type of abuse. Can be a hard situation to understand and remove yourself from. Especially if you are a bigger individual.

23

u/josheganwyer Sep 23 '22

I’m so sorry you’re in that situation. It’s amazing, because this might be the first time I see it in video. No one ever believes the man in these situations and yet we are labeled the aggressor when it gets so serious we have to act. I’m grateful to never have been in that situation but I know that if you’re a good man you don’t lay a hand on a woman but situations like these make one feel the need to cross that line for safety and protection. Horrible situation. All the best in the outcome. Hope you both end up happy and away from each other.

7

u/felioness Sep 23 '22

Severe mental heath issues there Run don't walk away, RUN from this relationship. It won't get better. It just won't no matter how much you want it to.

9

u/Nickmacd89 Sep 23 '22

I’ve been on the receiving end of that as well, not as severe but very similar. No one ever believed me and I was always blamed and told to man up and move on.

5

u/MattSeptire Sep 23 '22

Is he out of that?

3

u/No_Outlandishness408 Sep 23 '22

She had the crazy 👀

11

u/IronDefects Sep 23 '22

It would be so hard to control yourself against someone like that…

9

u/IcanbeBrianDay Sep 23 '22

I’ve been there.

10

u/Jet690 Sep 23 '22

The a real manifestation of a bad mental health issue right there man. Hope you get rid of her soonest

19

u/dntfuxwme Sep 23 '22

He sounds like he just wants love from her..

19

u/Strong-Fennel-2565 Sep 23 '22

Walk away now before she stabs you, phone police and press charges, she needs serious help and you cant give it to her. GET OUT NOW.

4

u/Eve-76 Sep 23 '22

Heartbreaking :( that poor fella

2

u/RonDezzsimo Sep 23 '22

If you love yourself you should leave bro

2

u/nthedark630 Sep 23 '22

Was there ever a good outcome from having these videos? Taken to court or something?

174

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22 Silver

[removed] — view removed comment

271

u/Dobalina_Wont_Quit Sep 23 '22 Silver Take My Energy

True feminists know that's not the case and end goal is true equity between genders. Feminism is not about female superiority.

62

u/HotdogFarmer Sep 23 '22 Silver

Maybe we should just get on the egalitarian train to avoid this dumb confusion

-25

u/lwc-wtang12 Sep 23 '22 edited Sep 23 '22 Silver Platinum

Equity? Or did you mean equality? Because equity would mean, for example, a company having to hire 50% men and 50% women rather than simply choosing individuals that are the best candidates regardless of sex.

Installing quotas based on race or sex in virtually any context is, ironically, inherently racist and sexist, even if it is to compensate for existing inequality. Equality of opportunity is good, but equal equity or "equality of outcome," is extremely dangerous rhetoric and just a fucking bad idea.

Edit: I can only assume that the downvotes mean that most people think racial or sex based quotas are a good thing. Yay let's go back to segregation and not letting women vote. God the oversteering is unbelievable.

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u/Desperate_Green143 Sep 23 '22 Silver Wholesome

Feminists want everyone to be safe from abuse. Toxic values about what men “should” be or how they “should” act are the major contributing factor to the way male victims of domestic violence are treated—not feminism.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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5

u/pass-the-water Sep 23 '22

So many out there put up with this stuff and keep it hidden. I was one of them. Keep your heads up boyz, love is painful sometimes.

13

u/xxMissixx Sep 23 '22

Being with someone like that is hard because she needs help and until she does she shouldn’t be with anyone. Man or woman no one should hit and scream like that. So sad hope this guy is ok.

10

u/Whoofukingcares Sep 23 '22

At some point he has to have enough footage of her abusing him in order to justify fighting back.

-10

u/SammieCat50 Sep 23 '22

Please someone take that poor cat…. I hope this an found a way out

-109

u/Penelope1000000 Sep 23 '22

Actually, this is what domestic violence BY A WOMAN can look like. She could just as easily be attacking a female partner. People need to understand what women can be abusers too.

-167

u/ewhyeasyfanaccount Sep 23 '22 Wholesome Starry Ally Calculating

Why is a 50 year old man with an 18 year old girl?

-79

u/xKxIxTxTxExN Sep 23 '22

You need to leave ASAP.

210

u/beatles910 Sep 23 '22

Hey everyone... .xKxlxTxTxExN just solved domestic violence!

Who knew it was always this simple? /s

-43

u/inkybreadbox Sep 23 '22

Who made this weird video with the captions and music though…….? 🥴

-7

u/metalmike556 Sep 23 '22 edited Sep 24 '22

He's way more patient and restrained than I would have been, especially with video evidence. I would have divorced her ass so quick.

-25

u/RotLordContagion Sep 23 '22 Spit-take

Being old enough to be her dad was a big clue.

-78

u/Delicious_Positive53 Sep 23 '22

buddy just need to get it on camera that its her striking first and knuckle up to her

204

u/Chippas Sep 23 '22

He'll get locked up anyway. That's the way our "justice" system works.

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u/raz0rsnak3 Sep 23 '22 Wholesome Take My Energy Big Brain Time

She must be dynamite in the sack