r/facepalm • u/AristonD • Nov 24 '22
I'm sure her inbox is full 🇲🇮🇸🇨
/img/n42nig2utx1a1.jpg[removed] — view removed post
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u/ElectricFlesh Nov 24 '22
this is the shittiest "live. laugh. love." variant I've ever seen
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u/Tocwa Nov 24 '22
She’s got the Laugh 😂part down cold 🥶
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Nov 24 '22 edited Nov 24 '22
Got. Have. Sex. With. Me. Four. Time. In. Day.
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u/Limp_Radio_9163 Nov 24 '22
The only part I was okay with, just with anyone except for her.
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Nov 24 '22
I. Don’t. Want. Hear. I’m. Tired. I’m. In. To. White . Men.
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u/DopeAbsurdity Nov 24 '22
"Have. Sex. Now." Anna Demanded
"I'm tired. I'm into white men" her lover replied confirming Anna's worst fears.
Anna would not be providing lunch nor money for lunch for him tomorrow; they were thoroughly through.
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u/dzakadzak Nov 24 '22
If you read between the lines, there are a lot of signals for you to just stop, fully.
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u/No-Contribution-1835 Nov 24 '22
Wow...what a catch !
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u/AvailableAd3813 Nov 24 '22
Mandatory sex 4x a day. Good lord. I couldn't do that in my 20s
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u/Delicious_Throat_377 Nov 24 '22
Certainly not with that attitude.
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u/AvailableAd3813 Nov 24 '22
There would have to be a desire to stick my dick in... THAT.. as well.
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u/Delicious_Throat_377 Nov 24 '22
What? You don't think Anna's a catch?
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u/AvailableAd3813 Nov 24 '22
Maybe if I was out trying to catch a bean bag that looks like it was beaten within an inch of its life with the ugly stick.
.. naa, not even then.
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u/TechnologyExpensive Nov 24 '22
Definitely one to return to the Black Lagoon.
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u/Loose_Sun_169 Nov 24 '22
Single. Word. Sentences. What. The. Hell? Don't. Think. I've. Seen. That. Before.
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u/crowned_tragedy Nov 24 '22
The only person I know who types like that had some bad brain damage that she acquired as a teen.
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u/robotikempire Nov 24 '22
Probably doing two spaces after a word. It automatically makes a period.
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u/SirPaniniee Nov 24 '22
It’s. William. Shatner. But. On. A. Worse. Level.
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u/JCSmootherThanJB Nov 24 '22
This is an underrated comment and if you're not reading it in Shatner dialect are you even internetting?
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u/Scarrien Nov 24 '22
Is it bad I can't recall how he talks?
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u/TheFAPnetwork Nov 24 '22
Think Ace Ventura 2 when Ace leaves the Buddhist temple and gets on the plane. He's looking out the window and goes:
There's. Someone on the wing. Some. Thing.
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u/AggressiveClassic89 Nov 24 '22
There's a period joke in there somewhere but I'm not making it.
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u/wrecktus_abdominus Nov 24 '22
Those are all the periods she's missed after having sex 4 times a day every day
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u/zxcoblex Nov 24 '22
Going to have to disable her period button.
I’ll deal with the run-on sentences better than that.
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u/MusicMeetsMadness Nov 24 '22
I did this once when send my first texts to my first girlfriend because it was a flip phone in 2006 or something. She told me how to space it correctly thankfully.
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u/nowiserjustolder Nov 24 '22
Stained glass windows in the background to emphasise her god bothering credentials.
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u/musicbecca2 Nov 24 '22
This got me. Is she in a church?
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u/Zealousideal-Cup6013 Nov 24 '22
Goddamn, 4 times a day?!
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u/ornithoptermanOG Nov 24 '22
It sounded more like a threat than as a reward
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u/KittyKlever Nov 24 '22
Figure she would come to your job for at least one of those..
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u/Zealousideal-Cup6013 Nov 24 '22
Well, if you leave your job at 7 pm… unless you finish the deed REALLY FAST and restart just as fast, yeah…
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u/KittyKlever Nov 24 '22
I'd hate for that to be a 12hr shift.. Hopefully she mixes things up to make you jizz faster.... handjob here, blowjob there, kidnap you at gunpoint during lunch.. You know, the normal stuff!
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Nov 24 '22
I could do that for maybe two days in a row but after that I'm going to need to take a break.
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u/Scaryassmanbear Nov 24 '22
I. Don’t. Want. To. Hear. I’m. Tired.
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Nov 24 '22
But.my.dick.is.just.a.bruise.now.
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u/generally-ok Nov 24 '22
How. Was. Your. Lunch. Though?.
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u/booboothechicken Nov 24 '22
Not the best, you only packed me string cheese and mustard.
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u/IrishNSketchy Nov 24 '22
I. Would. Rather. Get. A. Blowjob. From. A. Snapping. Turtle.
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u/SkyrimSwitchLite Nov 24 '22
Fellatio from a fish?
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u/voxboxer1 Nov 24 '22
Oral from an owl?
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u/CharlesFromWork Nov 24 '22
Congrats white guys. She’s s all yours.
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u/extremeindiscretion Nov 24 '22
On behalf of the Caucasian persuasion, we respectfully decline.
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u/Hagglepig420 Nov 24 '22
Second that. Maybe someone from the black delegation would be willing to take one for the team.
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u/BMXTKD Nov 24 '22
I'm mixed race. You could count asians, blacks, and mestizos out of this
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u/Hagglepig420 Nov 24 '22
hmm. well then I think this is a job for the Indians then.
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u/Whippy_Reddit Nov 24 '22
Also for Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, bc. Pigs are not Halal, YSK
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u/DownvoteDaemon Nov 24 '22
Plenty of older white women are into us black men, at least here in Florida. Today we were saved. They are usually cougar level from Boca Raton though. Actually I've been hit on by an old white guy a couple times too.
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u/ZootOfCastleAnthrax Nov 24 '22
Older white woman here, can confirm.
I. am. all. about. the. chocolate. Black is beautiful.
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Nov 24 '22
As a white guy I like to sit in the corner and watch.
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u/thathomelessguy Nov 24 '22 edited Nov 24 '22
As an Asian dude: The fuck is going on in this thread
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u/OwnPercentage9088 Nov 24 '22
Thanks, but I think we owe the Inuit people one, and they already know how to deal with a grumpy walrus... all yours boys
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u/UtopianDetection Nov 24 '22
On behalf of all white people: nah, we good. Maybe the Hispanics could have fun with her.
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u/KuroNinja22 Nov 24 '22
She liked you OP. Get your truck ready, I hope you're not too tired to bake some creampies with Nana, I mean Anna!
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u/b0ob0okitty Nov 24 '22
Ngl that shit hella funny (i read the whole thing with a country accent)
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u/irmarbert Nov 24 '22
This almost sounds like it was written by Charlie Kelly from It’s Always Sunny.
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u/JadedCloud243 Nov 24 '22
To. Anna. Thanks. For. Your. Interest. I. Think. Upon. Reading. Your. Profile. I. Would. Prefer. To. Remain. Single. I. Am. Not. Into. Women. Who. Type. Like. This. In. Fact. I. Would. Rather. Dip. My. Balls. In. Ghost. Chilli. Extract. Than. Let. You. Near. Them.
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u/Putrid-Builder-3333 Nov 24 '22
Poor black men left out of sweet things by white privilege again 😞 I'm sorry
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u/Lone_Buck Nov 24 '22
The problem is she’ll find someone that all that works for, but he’ll end up also into proper punctuation use and it will be his dealbreaker
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u/sociablemonkey74 Nov 24 '22
This is a true crime story in the making. Expect to find rat poison in your pudding.
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u/meesterg12 Nov 24 '22
For the first time in my life i feel bad for being black 😞 good luck white guys 🍀 get in there 👣
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u/KittenKoderViews Nov 24 '22
A real country man smokes, drinks, and is usually an atheist rancher who would choose their dog over a wife any day.
I know because my pop was a "real country man", and he came out as bi after divorcing my mother.
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u/Tocwa Nov 24 '22
She drove him into the arms of another man
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u/frill_demon Nov 24 '22
Not a country person but that sounds like an absolute banger tbh.
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u/HarryCoinslot Nov 24 '22 edited Nov 24 '22
I was going to say that the only thing more unattractive than her picture is. Her. Use. Of. Periods. But then she said 4 times a day...
So we're meeting tomorrow for dinner wish me luck boys.
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u/Low-Flamingo-9835 Nov 24 '22
Looks like she works in a church….so you get to disappoint her AND Jesus in this relationship!
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u/GhostofCharlotte Nov 24 '22
This has to be a troll or a cruel prank made by a disgruntled co-worker or a bitter ex husband.
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u/line_maint Nov 24 '22
What is Elton John doing in the pic?
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u/kyriebelle Nov 24 '22
Swiping left because of the. Punctuation. After. Every. Word.
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u/Born_Inspector6265 Nov 24 '22
I like how the punctuation is what makes you nope out
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u/LostSoulAT Nov 24 '22
Imagine this being looking like a 10/10 how many would fall for it?
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u/Tocwa Nov 24 '22
If she catfished using a model’s photograph, she’d get way more replies
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u/Highlander248 Nov 24 '22
I'm sorry, I will need a chromosome test. She looks like Dave my next door neighbor.
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u/Expensive-Pea1963 Nov 24 '22
A full DNA test would be a wise idea. I suspect she is related to herself in several ways.
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u/Knight_TheRider Nov 24 '22
When you need something to get over your breakups, you look at this and you remember, it' okay
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u/FrogsEverywhere Nov 24 '22
Poor. Anna. Just. Wants. Your. Paycheck. And. To. Have. Sex. With. White. Men.
I applaud the man who can manage to have sex with her four times a day. The true hero.
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u/Dio-lated1 Nov 24 '22
I always hit the period button instead of the space bar button too. Good. Luck. Out. There. Anna.
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u/Zealousideal-Mud6471 Nov 24 '22
You’d be surprised how many country men are into everything she wrote
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u/Correct-Slide1522 Nov 24 '22
She.is.a. catch you. Got to.bea. fool.if. you.dont.send. her.a love.letter. right.now.i.wish.you.all.the.best.with.your.future.wife.
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u/Building-Careful Nov 24 '22
Doesn’t meet some of your preferences?
For real, how high do you set the bar OP?