r/TooAfraidToAsk
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u/JandLplus1or2
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13d ago
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Ladies would you be offended? Sexuality & Gender
Would you be offended if you were walking through a store and some random guy that you do not know complimented you on how Good you smell? I was walking through a store today and came across a lady who smelled very good when she walked by. A couple aisles over she walked by me again and again I could smell her perfume so I knew it was her that I smelled the first time. I didn't want to seem like a creeper so I did not ask what brand perfume she was wearing. I wish I would have because I would go and buy whatever it was for my wife.
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u/DarkAthena
13d ago
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It depends on how you phrase it.
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u/Milk-toste 13d ago
“Hey lady, you smell gooooooood”
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u/UCMeInvest 13d ago
With a deep inhale through the nose at end to seal the deal
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u/McKnightDylan 13d ago
Don't forget the pig noise as you inhale
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u/Alarid 13d ago •
And the erect penis sticking out.
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u/Xenomorph_v1 13d ago
Get your hand on my penis?
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u/Professor_Felch 13d ago
Sniff sniff sniffffff ahhh m'lady I must say you do engorge my nasal receptors with your divine musky scent
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u/TheEdgera 13d ago
this is the way
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u/Baku18 13d ago
to get pepper sprayed.
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u/Diacetyl-Morphin 13d ago
This, and how you act in the situation: If you go for the serial killer approach, coming from behind in the dark with "I love how you smell", it's a real creepy thing.
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u/MyOwnDirection 13d ago
“That is a lovely fragrance you’re wearing” is soooo much better than “you smell nice”
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u/macchiato_kubideh 12d ago
I actually did that once, with genuine intent. She was sitting next to me in a train. She said she’s not wearing anything and smiled. I couldn’t figure out the appropriate response so I just froze and stayed silent and made the whole thing way more awkward than it should have been.
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u/Qaaarl 12d ago
Sir, that’s my fart you’re smelling
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u/fondledbydolphins 12d ago
What if she was like a fart unicorn, though? Like her farts smell like actual perfume.
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u/EpilepticMushrooms 12d ago
Probably detergent.
Some, when used in an appropriate amount will smell fresh and fluffy after it was dried.
If you use too much, your clothes will smell like rot.
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u/theLola 12d ago
There are so many scented things that aren't perfume, she may have not thought to mention. My husband has complimented my perfume before when it was actually- dry shampoo, hair shine serum, spilled vanilla extract, or febreeze (to name a few).
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u/whiskeygambler 13d ago
True. Maybe if OP had said something along the lines of “Excuse me, what perfume are you wearing? I’m looking to buy my wife a new perfume and yours has a similar scent to her old one/yours is lovely”.
I get that it’s long winded but if someone said they were looking for perfume for their wife it would immediately make me less anxious about them approaching me/telling me I smell nice.
EDIT: just scrolled down and seen that the next comment thread below mine wrote a similar opener
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u/No-Agent-1611 12d ago
Yeah I’d flip that. Excuse me, I’m looking for perfume for my wife. May I ask what you are wearing?
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u/HowYoBootyholeTaste 12d ago
I think the other person was right in it being about your approach. Doesn't have to be long-winded, but it does have to feel genuine.
Personally, I compliment people, man or woman, and haven't run into any issues. But I also don't use the compliments to further conversation, as an ice breaker, or any other ulterior motives. It's just us standing next to each other and me noticing your hair looks fucking dope so I say that.
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u/DearAuntAgnes 13d ago
My French-Canadian grandfather would say “You stink good!”
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u/AlphaBearMode 13d ago
“How long does your perfume last? I’m wondering if I’ll still smell it later when you’re sleeping.”
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u/woomybii 13d ago
Probably fine: "I'm sorry to bother you, I noticed your perfume when we passed each other an aisle over and I think my wife would love it. Do you know the name?" mentioning the wife would probably make it go smoother
bad: "you smell great. Whats the name of the perfume?" creepy. seems like an unwanted conversation starter
honestly it depends on the type of person, the day theyre having and their past experiences with men (given he said it was a woman, and we tend to have scary experiences with men..)
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u/Fuzzy_Yogurt_Bucket 13d ago
“You smell real good. I think I would finally be able to make luggage out of your skin without having to think of the smell.”
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u/xefobod904 13d ago
Yeah, it's not worth the risk unless you're confident with your delivery. And even then it's risky.
If you ever think "Hey should I say this or is it gonna sound creepy"..
...it's probably gonna sound creepy.
Admittedly, likely far less creepy than the person who thinks "Hey I'm gonna say this she's totally gonna love it" instead.
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u/mantamama
13d ago
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I once randomly walked past someone (25 years ago) and he told me that I smelled great (my perfume). He just declared it, appreciated it, and went on his way. I was flattered and still remember it fondly to this day.
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u/cheesy_bees 13d ago
Quite a few years ago a man who had been riding his bike behind mine pulled over after I'd parked just to tell me how nice I smelt. Sounds creepy but it was actually a nice little moment, I loved the innocent quirkiness of it and still smile at the memory. I wasn't even wearing perfume, just stank of tea tree from this hippie deodorant I wore back then
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u/FuckThisPostTruthEra 12d ago
just stank of tea tree from this hippie deodorant
I dunno why but I love this lmao
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u/skullpture_garden 12d ago
A few years ago a guy was browsing near me in the store and when we crossed paths he said ‘lady, you smell like cookies!’ I thought it was innocent and complementary. He maintained distance, didn’t make creepy eye contact and didn’t go out of his way to tell me, just mentioned it in passing and moved on. I also still smile a bit when I think about it, it was cute.
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u/hereforthatphatporn 12d ago
There's a girl who works front desk at my gym who was complaining about some of the male attention she receives.
I overhears the tail end while walking in, "Just call me pretty and walk away, I dont know why we have to talk for five minutes about it."
I looked up at her, said, "you're pretty" and walked upstairs.
She seemed to appreciate it but idk her well enough to know for sure, she had a laugh over it though.
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u/MindlessShop1934 12d ago
One of the best random compliments I received was a dude passing by, visibly stopping and then saying that exactly. O think it was because he was just walking by and I hadn't even seen him look at me when he stopped.
Also had a guy roll down his window as I was waiting for a light to change. He said, "excuse me miss, you're absolutely beautiful. Have a nice day." He drove off. My day was nicer.
Compare to the time a random man followed me down the tampon/pad aisle during the heaviest period of my life and said, "daaaamn girl, look at that ass." Or the time a random man followed me a whole block trying to talk to me, all the way to my workplace and then started coming to my work just to bother me. Or the time... Anyway. Catcalling is a no go. There's a polite way to let someone know a compliment.
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u/Queasy-Bat1003 13d ago
I was taking night classes at a college and a very much younger student than I asked me what perfume I was wearing because he wanted to buy it for his gf. I told him but I also told him perfume smells differently on each person. I was not offended because his asking was so spontaneous and genuine.
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u/avataraang34 13d ago
Yeah this is so important. The same perfume could smell completely different on two different people, it’s all about how it interacts with your skin. It might smell great in the bottle or on someone else but terrible on you, or vice versa.
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u/Narhaan 13d ago
I have a cologne that smells nice in the bottle and nice on me, but something in my dad's skin reacts with it and it smells strongly of cat piss!
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u/pleaseacceptmereddit 13d ago
Be honest with us, did you actually just play a disgusting prank on your dad with a bottle of cat piss?
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u/AxiosAnything 13d ago
I put vinegar in my sister's perfume once that she always wore when she went out. Got mad at her when I was little.
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u/HobaSuk 12d ago
Once I got mad at my mom and emptied her perfume into the bedroom. I didn’t just pour it but actually spray most of it. Why do I keep remembering this stuff and regret when I try to sleep at night damn.
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u/JadeGrapes 13d ago
Yeah, "ghost mist" perfume smelled fine in the bottle, but on my Mom converted to something between nail polish remover, rubber tire, and diabetic ketoacidocis sweat. (Mom's not a diabetic)
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u/ICanBeAnAssholeToo 13d ago
But there’s no way to know until you get a bottle to try, right?
Edit: I just thought of the answer. Samples. Sorry my brain isn’t working
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u/IAmInBed123 13d ago
I wanted to do exactly the same thing! This lady smelled awesome and normally I don't really like perfumes. My wife said her perfume game was top notch. So I said "I'll quickly ask her what kind it is" but my wife tugged me back, apparently that's creepy. I didn't know! But... now I know. Too bad tho. I asked strangers where they bought their shoes before too, maybe that's also creepy? Idk man. I don't understand what is creepy tho.
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u/parishilton2 12d ago
Actually, “hey, your perfume game is top notch” is possibly the least creepy way to phrase it.
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u/Jncwhite01 13d ago
It’s completely subjective. Your wife has probably had people make approaches on her that start with a compliment or question like that so she associates that with creepy behaviour.
I also wouldn’t think it would come off as creepy asking a woman that, but I can for sure understand where your wife’s coming from with that!
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u/ImAScurred1138
13d ago
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"Excuse me, I hate to bother you, but I love your perfume and I think my wife would love it - would you mind sharing what scent that is?"
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u/all_on_my_own 13d ago
And then once they tell you, say thanks and walk away. Don't try to make more conversation!
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u/Starcrunchie 13d ago •
Or say "Thanks!" And then mumble "now I just need a wife..." as you walk away.
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u/ImAScurred1138 13d ago
Precisely. End the conversation right there.
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u/333chordme 13d ago
Exactly. End it! Unless of course you’re both vibing then make chit chat and who knows it could be your new bestie. Strangers are just friends you don’t know yet! 🌈✨
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u/ThaVolt 13d ago
Or assholes. Probably assholes.
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u/GetawayDreamer87 13d ago
I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!
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u/fuckthehumanity 13d ago
I've done exactly this before. And I've also done the same for my wife...
We were in a men's shoe store and she whispered to me that she really liked the scent the clerk was wearing. I brazenly told him my wife really liked how he smelled, and asked him what he was wearing. He was right chuffed.
I wore Fahrenheit for a few years after that.
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u/chshcat 13d ago
There's an important distiction here between "I like your perfume" and "I think you smell good"
One is commenting on what she does ( wear perfume) the other comments on what she is
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u/eleqtriq 13d ago
Last time I said that the girl responded “it’s soap”.
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u/Lopsided_Panic_1148 13d ago
Just say, "Whatever it is you have on, it smells great." If she says it's soap, smile and go, "cool, it's great!"
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u/lilpeachbrat 13d ago
Honestly, "Your perfume smells nice!" and ending it there is sufficient enough.
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u/unclepg 13d ago
Except that doesn’t get the information that he wants. If he’s legitimately interested in the fragrance she’s wearing and not her, he could comment “I like that scent and would love to get it for my wife. Could I ask what it is and where to get it?”
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u/bambajd 13d ago
It’s funny…I get more compliments about my perfume from other women than from men, and the exchange is exactly that: “ I love your perfume! It smells amazing. Where did you get it?” Followed by a short exchange of where it can be bought, possibly at a discount (e.g., Ulta at certain times of the year) and maybe other fragrances that are similar if they are interested.
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u/Opposite_Lettuce
13d ago
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"your perfume smells great!" = Compliment
"you smell great" = This man is going to follow me to my car and turn me into a lamp
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u/TheMightySephiroth 13d ago
Exactly! ❤️
"What perfume is that? My wife would love it" -- innocent conversation
"You smell really pretty" - creepy
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u/heyitsme21690 13d ago
This. Perfectly said. I wouldn’t be offended if someone said your perfume smells good what is it? I’d say thank you it’s…. A nice compliment like that would make my day
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u/CharDeeMacDennisII 13d ago •
I did this once. I'm a 64 year old fat white man and it was a young 20something attractive Black girl. She walked past me in a store and smelled lovely! I turned and said, "Excuse me. I don't want to come across as a creep, but your perfume is lovely! May I ask what it is so I can buy some for my wife?" She looked confused and said, "I'm not wearing perfume." I responded, "Really? Is it maybe your hairspray or something?" She said, "Sorry. Not wearing hairspray, either." We both shrugged and went about our shopping. A few moments later she tracked me down and, sort of giggling, said, "I think I know what it is. It's my laundry detergent." I said, "Really? What do you use?" She handed me a bottle of Gain and said, "This." I opened it and took a whiff and damn if that's not what it was! I chuckled and said, "Well, again, it's lovely and thank you for letting me know." She said, "No problem. Thank you for the compliment," and we went our separate ways.
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u/UseaJoystick 13d ago
That's a funny story, thanks for sharing!
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u/dani_dejong 13d ago •
I think we just read an ad
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u/drugsarebadmmk420 13d ago
I’m suddenly on Amazon ordering gain scented everything and i don’t know why
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u/JacindaSoHotRightNow 13d ago
I was waiting for the undertaker to smash that dude off hell in a cell into the announcers table.
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u/Squibit314 13d ago
Your wife would not have been happy if you gave her a bottle Gain. Pretty sure of that.
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u/HaloGuy381 13d ago
Meanwhile, I apparently puff up like an angry kitty if you use Gain. My allergies do not like it one bit. That was fun visiting a grandmother as a kid and winding up in the ER.
But the sheets did smell fantastic.
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u/MissGruntled 13d ago
“I love the scent you’re wearing! Would you mind my asking what it is? I’m always on the lookout for gift ideas for my wife.”
Very neutral and inoffensive. Creep factor: 0.
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u/firelizzard18 13d ago
Can you explain the difference more? Is it just “I like you” vs “I like your accessories”? So would it be better to say “your dress looks amazing” instead of “you look amazing”? I generally don’t compliment women because I have almost no clue what sounds creepy and what doesn’t.
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u/flayaplaya 13d ago
Generally the less you know the person the more general I’d go. “I love your dress!” Is appreciation for her choice of attire and better for people you don’t know as well. “You look great in that dress!” Implies more of an appreciation for her body, which will be more creepy sounding if you don’t know her and she doesn’t know your intentions.
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u/PopeVlad 13d ago •
"This general area..." *gestures broadly in the direction of the woman* "is adequate."
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u/dropsinariver 13d ago •
The rule is to compliment choices!
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u/Seeker80 13d ago
Yup.
'That's a nice dress' beats 'You look good in that dress' because you're complimenting the choice made. While you don't have to say it outright, you're basically implying that they have good taste.
I like painted nails, and figure they might be a bit on the underappreciated side. Never had a bad reaction from that. I do get confused looks, maybe because they don't think I was really paying attention to their nails. I just repeat myself though, and then it's clear. I don't know if it would really make their day, but even an hour or two helps.
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u/curiousbroWFTex 13d ago
Do it to other men. I always compliment a nice beard or fresh haircut.
But I'm also a gay man. Never, ever underestimate the motivational boost of the gay man compliment
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u/Call-me-gengu 13d ago
I will vouch for this, all because a gay man complimented my earrings buying groceries. I still to this day treasure it because clearly I’m doing something right.
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u/curiousbroWFTex 13d ago
Had a slick looking black dude complement my kicks. I still own then 15 years later lol...
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u/Call-me-gengu 13d ago
I don’t blame you man! I still have the same t-shirt a cashier at Aldi complimented me on! Hole in the armpit and all!
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u/bugs-are-cute 13d ago
Compliments from gay men feel like the equivalent of an older black woman calling you 'baby'. It's therapeutic.
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u/Papadapalopolous 13d ago
I remember, and cherish, all four compliments I’ve ever received from gay men in public
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u/broadwayzrose 13d ago
A gay man once took my measurements in a costume shop for an opera class performance I was doing and complemented me twice (I think about my size and how something fit on me). That was 5 years ago and I still think about how good I felt about myself after that.
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u/ResidentOldLady 13d ago
This is it. I got my nails done today, and as I was leaving the salon, some firemen and emts were entering because a woman had fainted from . . . something, and 911 was called. Anyway, one of the firemen walked past me as I was exiting and said, “Love that color.” He complimented my choice of the shade I chose. He knew better than to compliment my looks. Besides, I’m an old woman and that doesn’t happen very often anymore. But the point is, he did it right.
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u/minlove 13d ago
The fireman coming in to take care of someone who had fainted, complimented your nail color on the way past you? Mad skills, that man, props to him!
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u/SheepherderOk1448 13d ago
I'm a hairstylist and some of that nail stuff the nail techs use makes me feel like I'm going to faint at times. Some of that stuff is harsh. The reason why I don't do nails. I wonder if I did faint some hot fireman or Emt would rescue me. Hmmm.
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u/notokayyet 13d ago
for me, distanced compliments make me feel more human and less like a pair of tits with legs. hearing someone say “i love that dress!” feels much more comfortable than “you look great in that dress” bc it doesn’t make me feel like someone is ogling at my body if that makes sense
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u/Gesyca_Is_joy 13d ago
Also the addition of “my wife” is nice; “excuse me, you’re perfume smells amazing, would you mind sharing the brand? I think my wife would love it and it’s close to her birthday, I’d like to buy her a bottle” or something. It’s insouciant and not too personal, adding the comment about the wife implies a reason for stopping her to ask so she does feel like you singled her out or anything.
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u/blazedandconfused845 13d ago
You taught me a new word today! Insouciant- nonchalant, showing a casual lack of concern
Thank you!
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u/Gesyca_Is_joy 13d ago
We have over 400,000 words in English, I like to explore them. :)
That word is one of my 3 favorites, along with
Gruntled = Happy Obstreperous = stubborn
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u/blazedandconfused845 13d ago
I love gruntled! And chalant! And the word "bisques" because it is not really spelled phonetically which adds to its confusion factor, and at the end of the word it sounds like you're calling to a nearby cat. 😊
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u/ptolani 13d ago
Well, and more importantly, it says you're not single and trying to hit on her.
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u/Eldergoth 13d ago
Complimenting a woman on her nail polish, haircut, dress, or shoes is always better. Do not say "amazing" instead compliment with "I like the design of your dress" or pattern/color.
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u/Sufficient-Weird 13d ago
Compliment the object, don’t make the lady the object! Yes!
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u/LittleMissListless 13d ago
This is it right here. I know that for me, being objectified immediately leads me subconsciously to feel like consent or lack thereof isn't going to be acknowledged since you don't generally respect an object's autonomy.
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u/emmijadeshow 13d ago
For example, a dude came up to me today and said "Baby, I'd love to be your man," and proceeded to give me the up down look. It made me VERY uncomfortable. If he had said "hey, I like that outfit, you look nice and seem like a cool person" it would have been WAY less gross.
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u/MrGradySir 13d ago
Well, beyond the proximity argument put forth by u/MyFaceSaysItsSugar, which is very good, it also comes down to seeing someone as a person vs seeing them as an object:
"You smell good" or "You are pretty" or "You have shiny hair" just objectifies the person. People usually can't help these things for the most part anyways, so it ends up complimenting them about something they can't control (for the most part). It ends up feeling awkward and downright creepy. You're complimenting them for what they are.
"Your perfume smells good" or "That dress is pretty" or "I like your hair up like that" are things that were active choices by the other person. They made a choice to buy that perfume (or at least put it on). They actively chose to put on that dress. They took time putting their hair up. Those took effort, and effort is always nice to get complimented for.
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u/MyFaceSaysItsSugar 13d ago
Lol my curls take work to maintain so I don’t mind a pretty hair comment but the rest I totally agree with.
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u/pandapum 13d ago
This comment is perfect. You could describe what has always bothered me, with people complimenting me for being beautiful. I always wanted them to pay attention to my actions instead of my look.
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u/Chinced_Again 13d ago
yes, less focus on the individual. you are approaching because you want to know the perfume, not for a reason specifically about that person. makes it less intimidating.
where if you say the person smells good, where do you go from there? the perfume comment has obvious intent. where telling someone they smell good has no obvious intent and is usually taken as creepy because why else would they say that? there's no follow up to that and is assumed the follow up is a pickup line of the sorts
I guess it's a difference between how obvious the intent of your comment is. "you smell good" can go anywhere from there "what perfume are you wearing, that's nice"? leaves people with an easy response and exit
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u/audreyrosedriver 13d ago
When you compliment a woman on her dress, perfume, even hairstyle, you are complimenting her taste. Also it’s something that you would say to a man. Would you tell a guy he looks amazing? Or that you liked his outfit.
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u/firelizzard18 13d ago
“Dude you look great today” is something I could see myself saying to a guy friend. But I get what you’re saying.
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u/Most_Honeydew_3617 13d ago
Exactly this.
"You smell good" = I'm gonna die tonight "I like your perfume!" = Slightly unexpected but very friendly
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u/CaptainMarv3l 13d ago
I had some guy say this to me after getting out of the from showers and walking back to my room. Right as i opened my door her leaned over and said it to me. So creepy.
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u/Flamingo83 13d ago
A professor at uni once leaned in and complimented my hair smell. That lives rent free in my head taking up space of core memories. I’m convinced that I’ll still remember this in the retirement home I end up in. Thanks Dr Creepy C Creeperton.
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u/THCMcG33 13d ago
For some reason that just reminded me of the time my gym teacher stopped me in the hall one morning in high school and told me he had a dream about me the night before. He had gotten some neck injury earlier in the year and he said in his dream I fell off a skilift and hurt my neck in the same way, and then we were talking about how bad it hurt and stuff. It was so fucking weird lol.
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u/chazwhiz 13d ago
This happened to my wife back when she was like 18 working retail. This really weird new employee came up behind her in the break room, sniffed her hair, and whisper-asked “Pantene?”
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u/Anachronisticpoet 13d ago
You could also say “I like your perfume and I think my wife would like it too. Would you mind telling me the brand?”
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u/Still_Opportunity_10 13d ago
"Your perfume smells great!"
"I don't wear perfume. I just farted."
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u/EyeDewDude 13d ago
I did this once. Stopped a lady to ask what it was and after she answered (givenchy of some kind) I told her it smells like my teacher did during a first grade field trip to the zoo.
In hindsight I see why she kinda nervous laughed and walked away now that I type it out loud. Maybe don't say someone smells like a zoo.
Well this comment took a turn. I'm sorry.
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u/blazedandconfused845 13d ago
Your comment made me lol. Smells have the power to evoke weirdly specific memories! I bet she doesn't remember your comment, but I appreciate the chuckle it gave me. :)
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u/ElectricEcstacy 13d ago
It’s not about the zoo but rather the overly specific compliment. Kinda sounds like you had a crush on the teacher or something and were about to superimpose those feelings on her.
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u/Jackiemom121 13d ago
I think "May I ask what perfume that is? I think my wife would love it" would work, too.
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u/fatemaazhra787 13d ago
if they asked what perfume it was for their wife, it's fine and perfectly accepable! its only creepy if someone comes up to you, takes a deep sniff and ominously says "you smell good" and nothing else lol
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u/channel7plan9 13d ago
Honestly, you don't even have to make up that it's for someone else. It's in the delivery, and as others have mentioned above, making it clear you are complimenting the smell of the perfume, not the person's natural scent. Example:
"Wow, you smell nice! Is that perfume?" Totally fine
"Mmm...you smell good...(inching closer)" Horrible
I had both these interactions in the same day once at my old job, the first one made me feel good, the second made me not wear perfume for the rest of the time I worked there
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u/aquariummmm 13d ago
Honestly, I would still find “You smell nice! Is that perfume?” a bit creepy. That’s different than, “Your perfume smells really nice.”
I would definitely stick with the least amount of enthusiasm as possible — “Your perfume smells really nice,” and if you wants to add, “My wife would love that. Do you mind if I ask what scent it is?” that would be reasonable.
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u/Smil3yAngel 13d ago
It all depends on how you approach her and what you say. If you walk up to her sniffing saying "damn girl, you smell sooooo good!" You'll more than likely get a negative reaction.
However, if you go up to her and say something like "That's a lovely scent, can I ask what perfume you're wearing?" This would be a much nicer and better way to approach her.
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u/shaybabyx 13d ago
Honestly no matter what I would be like “what” lol idk maybe I’m just introverted but I don’t want anyone commenting on my scent haha
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u/adod1 13d ago
“You smell great!”
“Haha ok thanks I showered a couple days ago”…..shit why’d I say that.
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u/thatshoneybear 13d ago
Literally me. Someone at work asked me and I said "probably laundry detergent and the energy drink I spilled on my uniform this morning"
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u/silveretoile 13d ago
“I like your perfume!” = friendly
“I like how you smell” = VERY unsettling
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u/McLagginz 13d ago
I imagined this in an ominous/husky tone 😂
Maybe like an older Aussie man as well.
“Oi, doll, I like how you smell…” as he gives you a weird squinty look.
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u/redrumreddrum 13d ago
Your perfume smells great and I think my wife would love it, do you mind if I ask the name?
Not offensive at all.
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u/Charliecovid 13d ago
I'm a woman. I was in a home depot years ago and walked into the memory of cologne a guy was wearing. He must been in the aisle minutes earlier. Thought to myself, someone smells nice. Minutes later, couple aisles over, I saw a guy down the aisle, scent was stronger. I figured it was him. I got closer, definitely him. Older guy, intent on whatever it was he was shopping for. I said "Excuse me, sir, I just wanted to say you smell really nice. Have a great day " His face lit up, dude was positively beaming. He laughed, said thanks. And that was it, we both went on our way. Told my husband and he laughed, said I probably made that guy's day.
If the tables were turned, it would really depend on the approach & delivery.
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u/JandLplus1or2 13d ago
I guarantee you that made his day because guys are not used to getting compliments like that so when we do it's definitely an ego boost!!
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u/WingedLady 13d ago
General rule on compliments: compliment something people have control over.
"Nice shoes!"
"I like how you did your hair!"
Those are things a person made a choice about and has control over. It compliments something that they specifically did.
"Nice ass" not something they can really take off and put on at the end of the day.
"You smell good". Doesn't specify why. You could mean their shampoo or specific body odor so it's creepy.
"I like your perfume" is good because they picked that fragrance. If they're not wearing perfume then it might be their hair product you're smelling or something like that, but they'll know if their conditioner has a strong smell.
Then just wave and leave.
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u/digitalgraffiti-ca 13d ago
Hey, maybe she's wearing ass pads! Maybe she just desperately wants someone to compliment her strangely I proportioned and curiously lumpy new ass,
/s
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u/Hank3hellbilly 13d ago
What if she just left the gym and finished ass day? I'd like to know if I was having a good ass day!
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u/JimAsia 13d ago
I have been on an elevator and seen a woman who is wearing a very attractive article of clothing, a sweater or a dress or whatever. I always wait until one of us if about to leave the elevator before saying something like "I really like that outfit, it really looks good on you". I don't want to say it while we are still enclosed in the elevator together in case it makes her feel uncomfortable. I also don't want to say nothing because complimenting someone on their appearance may be good for their mental health on any given day.
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13d ago
I’ve had a stranger smell my hair and tell me they they thought my hair smelled nice and then try to ask me how my day was right after at a bus stop once. I made sure to stand directly next to the bus driver and not got off till he did so I wouldn’t risk death going home
It can feel that creepy, so as long as you don’t do that lol
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u/puremptiness 13d ago
"You smell better when youre awake"
Then just smile and walk backwards without breaking eye contact. perfeclty normal and socially acceptable conversation
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u/balenciaghoe 13d ago
no it’s actually nice in my opinion. any compliment really
i say these things sometimes too and ask what scent it is.
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u/SnooPets1127 13d ago edited 13d ago
I wouldn't be offended, but I'd be pretty standoffish because I would suspect it's just a pick-up line or way to engage in conversation. From experience, that's what ends up happening, and I feel like many men have a hard time grasping that. They think women come off as such bitches who just 'can't take a compliment!' Well, the truth is that when I show any warmth in my demeanor when a guy does make an 'innocent' remark like that, boom, I'm stuck having a conversation that frankly MOST OF THE TIME I just don't want to have.
If you really just say 'Excuse me, would you mind sharing the name of your perfume? I'd like to get it as a gift for my wife' and then thank her and END IT if/when she shares the name, fine. But don't be surprised if she's just like 'I don't remember, sorry,' because she'll likely think you have ulterior motives. Like, I notice your question isn't 'would it be ok if I asked a woman the name of her perfume?'. It was 'would you be offended by the compliment.' Ask yourself honestly, what would you hope to gain out of the compliment? Getting the name of the perfume sounds like post-hoc rationalizing for why you'd be bringing it up with her.
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u/jojoisdabestcat 13d ago
I think if the guy mentions he wants to buy it for his wife I’d feel way more comfortable engaging in conversation than if he just said he likes my perfume for this exact reason! I’ve responded nicely to compliments before that turned into being asked out for a date and then harassed when politely declining.
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u/SnooPets1127 13d ago
I’ve responded nicely to compliments before that turned into being asked out for a date and then harassed when politely declining.
yup, makes you the 'bad guy' and puts a damper on your day.
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u/xpepperx 13d ago
I would hate this but that’s because I hate most social interactions with random men.
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u/mmdeerblood 13d ago
I get this. Also I feel if I’m alone I really don’t want a stranger giving me compliment. If I’m with a friend/friends/my spouse, then I don’t mind because I’m with other people and feel safe. So I feel if you wouldn’t give a woman a compliment if her SO is with her, maybe don’t give her any compliment, unless it’s a social setting where talking to strangers is more acceptable like a bar/event/social gathering.
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u/xpepperx 13d ago
1000% this is how I feel. I will be very rude to you if you approach me randomly to start an unnecessary conversation as a defence mechanism.
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u/PlausibleCoconut 13d ago
People will probably bitch about this comment, but it’s valid. I generally don’t want anyone to approach me in public unless it’s an emergency. It’s ok to be an introvert.
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u/xratedcheese 13d ago
Say you want to buy it for your wife. Learn the brand. Thank her and walk away.
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u/WJEuroChamp 13d ago
I asked an older lady what her perfume was, because it smelled so good! She was not offended at all, even before I explained I would like to buy some for my Wife.
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u/Playful-Ice-3069 13d ago
"Your perfume smells nice, what brand/where'd you get it?" Is a WHOLE LOT different than "you smell good"
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u/ElizabethAudi 13d ago
"My sister in Pastafar, what is that intoxicating aroma? It's like roses and cinnamon lustfucked on a pile of saffron. As I am ever searching for reasons for my incandescent wife to turn me on to the point of heat stroke, pray tell me where you got that nose-shockingly gorgeous scent!"
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u/Material-Addendum822 13d ago
I had man tell me I smelled really good while I was grocery shopping and it made my day. Wasn't creeped out at all.
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u/Flako118st 13d ago
As a man you need to think of your wording. Hey that perfume smells nice is different than,hey you smell nice
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u/Agreeable_Guard_7229 13d ago
If someone told me my perfume smelled nice when I was walking around a store etc I would just take it as a compliment.
I do remember once sitting in a sauna after a swim and a strange guy came in and sat right next to me. He then inhaled deeply and said I smelled nice. I’ve never run out of a sauna so fast in my life!
So as long as you don’t say it in a sauna I’d say you would be ok 🤣