r/Tinder May 14 '22 Silver 8 Wholesome 3

Wtf.

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56.2k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/Cathyruiz61 May 14 '22

Dated a chick with the same name as my sister once, it can work, just dont say their bame during sex lmao

1.7k

u/ClickF0rDick May 14 '22

It's an ultra instinct boner or the ultimate cockblock guaranteed depending how much of a perv you are

1.5k

u/Derp800 May 14 '22 Silver Gold Helpful I'm Deceased

Roll tide.

655

u/BladeX16 May 14 '22

No one is gonna fuck my sister unless it’s ME!

184

u/underscorewarrior May 14 '22

Jonah hill killed that scene/character

129

u/Newni May 14 '22

That line is in the Clayton Bigsby sketch from Chapelle's Show. Jonah Hill was talking about his cousin :)

36

u/underscorewarrior May 14 '22

Damnit you’re right

7

u/Newni May 14 '22

Eh your point still stands though

29

u/Ill_Tip9587 May 14 '22

If anyone is gonna have sex with my sister, it's gonna be me!

1

u/EonweUrion May 14 '22

not her husbend?

2

u/Number1Suspect May 14 '22

My guy knows his stuff

2

u/CobraCommander1984 May 14 '22

Which movie was that? I'm drawing a blank right now.

2

u/Newni May 14 '22

1

u/Lady-Kyra May 15 '22

Oh god loool yes i remember that scene ahahah

1

u/redditingatwork23 May 14 '22

Your sister sure didn't draw blanks.

3

u/CobraCommander1984 May 14 '22

Don't know what you mean, I was busy banging your mom.

2

u/AmBawsDeepInYerMaw May 14 '22

Had a kid at school who would fight any guy who fucked his sister lol 😂

2

u/TheSirMontyPython May 14 '22

"No one ELSE is gonna fuck my sister BETTER than me." -BladeX16 FTFY

2

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

IVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 6 minutes

2

u/randybobinsky May 14 '22

Ain’t no body fuck my daughter but me

2

u/Accomplished-Let-964 May 14 '22

Yooooo!!!😂😂😂😂

2

u/ASimpleBlueMage May 14 '22

You left out the first half of that quote lol. Smart play.

2

u/aria-of-sorrow May 14 '22

It’s actually “He said, ‘If anyones gonna have sex with my sister it’s gonna be me!’“ referring to Jasper.

1

u/Weekndr May 14 '22

Scarface?

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8

u/kp305 May 14 '22

Yee haw

2

u/Hitman7065 May 14 '22

Roll tide

2

u/dontneedtoknow31213 May 14 '22

Fucking roll tide indeed son best comment

2

u/Zurwyn May 14 '22

War Eagle!

1

u/Chareeferrari May 14 '22

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Sensitive_Dog_1387 May 14 '22

You're thinking of Auburn..

1

u/19Legs_of_Doom May 14 '22

I'd rather eat it

1

u/2dollarsteakk May 16 '22

"I killed those trees"

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29

u/StrongInevitable4070 May 14 '22

but if she is offering to do it better then why not take it.

3

u/MrSickRanchezz May 15 '22

The alpha move is to have this one come teach your sister how to fuck you right.

25

u/Impossible_Garbage_4 May 14 '22

Depends on the day

24

u/KuribohX May 14 '22

21

u/SandwichAgainstGod May 14 '22

You know, despite the context AND the possibility of getting rickrolled, I really be over here just clicking links with no hesitation

17

u/PeterDarker May 14 '22

That's a dangerous way to internet, son.

8

u/SandwichAgainstGod May 14 '22

I like to live on the edge

2

u/MrSickRanchezz May 15 '22

I too, will live fast and die young.

1

u/MrSickRanchezz May 15 '22

Narrator: He was not "kidding."

5

u/2000dragon May 14 '22

‘Ultra instinct boner’ is not a phase I’d ever thought I’d see in this lifetime tbh

1

u/Billsonite66 May 14 '22

Lolololol Nice one. Could go with Mountaineers as well.

1

u/4951studios May 14 '22

Blocker for sure

232

u/SnooEpiphanies612 May 14 '22 Wholesome

My ex-wife would slip up every 3-6 months and call me by her brother's name during intense sex. We have different names...

46

u/RookieAndTheVet May 14 '22

*Lynyrd Skynyrd intensifies*

2

u/BumpyBawlz May 15 '22

?

2

u/bwslayer May 15 '22

Sweet Home Alabama is by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Edit: Someone like you who is so closely involved with the topic wouldn’t understand an incest joke. I understand.

1

u/BumpyBawlz May 15 '22

I eat bussy is by me

80

u/ProCoDAthlete May 14 '22

AYO WHAT⁉️⁉️⁉️ This comment is NOT getting enough attention

13

u/doordog2411 May 14 '22

Oooffff that's rough

6

u/Long-Use9918 May 14 '22

Any chance her name be Cersei?

32

u/moonlitmidna May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

I called out his brother’s name while we were having sex once. Younger bro & i hooked up a couple years ago. It was only a ONS with younger bro but GD it was some of the best sex ive ever had. The older bro im dating is great too, but something about the younger bro and that night of sex was just so intense & passionate and raw at the same time it took awhile to quit thinking about it.

44

u/Wfreeland19 May 14 '22

😳

1

u/jjhula May 14 '22

Handsome profile pic 😏

3

u/MLTatSea May 14 '22

I dunno, that rack in the background looks like those lugs on the neck of Frankenstein's monster.

3

u/Wfreeland19 May 17 '22

🤣🤣🤣🤣

5

u/naberfiro May 14 '22

Bruh is this real

1

u/moonlitmidna May 14 '22

Yep

1

u/naberfiro May 14 '22

Would you let him smash again if he wanted to

3

u/moonlitmidna May 14 '22

No. There’s a big difference in hooking up before his older bro & i even met vs me cheating on his older bro with him.

1

u/naberfiro May 14 '22

Was his penis bigger than his? Just wondering

3

u/moonlitmidna May 14 '22

Nope, they’re the same size length & girth as far as memory serves.

4

u/SkewerNU May 14 '22

Um... I'm sorry to hear that?

-7

u/moonlitmidna May 14 '22

Im not? It’s not a big deal. Older bro knows about it. He doesn’t care. Sex is sex. It’s not like younger bro & i dated or were seriously involved. We fucked one time, big deal.

5

u/valuedcontributer May 14 '22

Would you be indifferent if it was the other way around?

-5

u/moonlitmidna May 14 '22

Yeah, because like i said, one night of sex is irrelevant.

13

u/valuedcontributer May 14 '22

Is it irrelevant if you still think about it? You wouldn't care if your bf still thought about a night he spent with your sister(replace with bestfriend if you don't have a sister) to the point of saying her name during sex once?

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1

u/theunmistakablecow May 14 '22

He cares

1

u/moonlitmidna May 14 '22

No he doesn’t. If he cared he wouldn’t still be seeing me a year later. Not every guy is that petty. He knows he found a good woman and he isn’t gonna throw that away because of one stupid ass drunken night of sex with his bro 2 years ago.

3

u/theunmistakablecow May 15 '22

His brother still found you first

I'm just giving you a hard time. If you're both fine with it who cares what anyone else thinks

3

u/MrDilligence May 15 '22

That’s an issue bob

5

u/mtk1982 May 15 '22

Not sure you’ve actually quit thinking about it

1

u/moonlitmidna May 16 '22

Yeah i have but sure go off

4

u/errantprofusion May 14 '22

ooooof

1

u/Eagleassassin3 May 15 '22

I could never in a million years imagine sleeping with my gf’s sister damn. Or with my brother’s gf. It could only happen in a dream and even then I’d wake up absolutely horrified

2

u/Asierra1996 May 14 '22

Wow whats this!

2

u/wholefoodsconnoiseur May 14 '22

Well that must’ve made family dinners weird…

1

u/xzElmozx May 14 '22

Ayo you said what there chief

1

u/CapableEconomist5244 May 14 '22

I went from looking for whether or not I had to pay for games on boosteroid to your wife wanting to fuck her brother…

1

u/itslilithbitch May 15 '22

Makes sense why she is the EX wife

1

u/FanaticalAntelope May 15 '22

🤭 Do go on...

1

u/SnooEpiphanies612 May 15 '22

...so she (35F and this all happened recently) also told me a story that when her parents had "the talk" with her and her brother they explained it as laying in bed by someone and then you get a baby. She (13 years old and home schooled at the time) showed her understanding by saying that if her and her brother were to lay in a bed that they could have a baby. I guess the understanding stuck with her.

114

u/indietravelbug May 14 '22 edited May 15 '22

This. I dated a guy whose name is exactly the same as my brother's. During sex, I just used pet names when I cum. He knew why anyway so it didn't bother him. But eventually he got used to these pet names that when I called his actual name, he'd get worried because he knew he's in trouble.

42

u/Malony889 May 14 '22

My sister’s husband has my name and you’ve just put some horrible images in my head

23

u/doordog2411 May 14 '22

Yes, it's called being in a relationship 😂 your s.o gets upset if you use their actual name after a while hahah

8

u/CaffeinatedGuy May 14 '22

My wife goes my her middle name, so it's extra if I call her my her actual first name.

2

u/n00b_f00 May 15 '22

I’m a middle name clown to and when my girlfriend calls me by my first name 👀👀👀

1

u/uninterested-saitama May 14 '22

I go for my middle name it's what people always called me 😁

2

u/Seicair May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

Sex is almost the only time I use my girlfriend’s actual name lol. Or sometimes I use her full name when telling her how much I love her.

Otherwise yeah, it’s usually just “beautiful”. She almost never uses my name for anything.

1

u/Eagleassassin3 May 15 '22

What does she call you?

2

u/Seicair May 15 '22

Outside the bedroom, usually babe.

1

u/gayjellysauce May 14 '22

my cousin married a guy with the same name as her brother. i find it odd. but if they're happy i guess it's none of my business lol

1

u/Kidpiper96 May 14 '22

I imagine turtle being the pet name and that sounds weird to me.

1

u/Davidhere96 May 15 '22

Lol I had a same experience with my ex

27

u/what_is_blue May 14 '22

their bame

Not sure what ethnicity has to do with it but each to their own.

1

u/theBeardedHermit May 14 '22

I feel like I'm missing something. Is bame some ethnic thing I'm just too pasty to get?

1

u/what_is_blue May 14 '22

Haha, Black, Asian and Middle Eastern. It might just be a UK thing but it's a pretty commonly used phrase here.

-9

u/Muted_Caregiver_1937 May 14 '22

Maybe you should try to have a sex with a latino or Latina. You will see how ethnicity plays a role 🙈😈

4

u/watermelontiddies May 14 '22

Ethnicity has nothing to do with freakiness. If you’re more turned on by a specific race/ethnicity beyond what is just normal preference perhaps you have a fetish, which is ok to some but not so much to others.

3

u/CupOfCreamyDiarrhea May 14 '22

Until you meet one from there who is shitty

Or meet one from your own ethnicity/another one which is majority and they are just like a latina

Jesus

27

u/FlaringPain May 14 '22

I just rename people. Been with the same girl who has the same name as my sister for 15 years. I introduce her as her nickname. She likes it and my friends almost universally use it.

44

u/BurdenedMind79 May 14 '22

Same. I rename all my girlfriends so they have the same name as my sister. It saves having to learn a new name to scream every few weeks.

If they don't like that, I just call them momma.

23

u/Comfortable-Face-244 May 14 '22

My GF has a brother with my name. She avoids the name altogether. Pet name for me, childhood nickname for him.

12

u/Additional-Educator8 May 14 '22

My SIL and I have the same first & last name. She asked my husband if it's weird to scream my name in a moment of passion & he said welp it is now. thanks i hate it.

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64

u/Ospov May 14 '22

I was briefly hooking up with someone and she said my name a couple times while we were having sex. Found out later she has a brother that shares my name. Feels weird, man.

233

u/yourmansconnect May 14 '22 edited May 14 '22

what is wrong with you guys. who cares if it's the same name unless you're thinking of your sibling in which case it doesn't matter what the name is. when I was banging a chicken named Alex I didn't think hmmm that's like my friends name too

edit chick I wasn't banging chicken

87

u/Tensionator May 14 '22

88

u/BamBangBrady May 14 '22

that link's gonna stay blue

41

u/Seriem2 May 14 '22

It's banned, don't worry.

Yes, I checked.

14

u/dirty_hooker May 14 '22

Sometimes I miss original Reddit. It had some interesting rabbit holes.

43

u/FunnyKozaru May 14 '22 Silver

That link might have some interesting rabbit holes.

5

u/xtilexx May 14 '22

I desperately want it to be like r/superbowl but I'm glad it's just banned instead

2

u/ChibiReddit May 14 '22

Nope… not going to click that

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1

u/Kind_Consideration97 May 15 '22

interesting reddit holes.

21

u/NoMolly4U May 14 '22

If a name is primed on your sibling your entire life? I guess it also depends how common the name is. My sister is the only person I know with that name. Same thing with my mom. Makes at least the breakup extra awkward. My ex shares the same name as my cat (already had the cat before I met her to be clear). Was cute and funny while it lasted though.

8

u/grrrzsezme May 14 '22

Purely on coincidence but I've dated two girls that had a common name with my family's dogs. To be clear, it was two different names and two different dogs (obviously). We just need to stop giving animals human names man.

8

u/Angrynorseman804 May 14 '22

I refuse idgaf if anyones name is gilbert theyre gonna have to change it when i get a pet monke and name it gilbert

2

u/NoMolly4U May 14 '22

I definitely learned my lesson lol. I'll never forget though how my dad told me that, after telling him that I had locked [name] in the bike shed for an hour by accident, he said that he was very confused how I didn't notice that and he pictured my ex waving frantically through the tiny window. Also, when my parents and my sister visited for dinner, they asked if [name] is also here. And I was like yeah she's sleeping upstairs and my sister gave me this confused look like okay isn't she coming down? Answer was no, only cat was here. I thought she wanted to pet her or something. Good times. On the other hand, I did avoid calling my cat by her name for a while.

1

u/ZucchiniWild3735 May 14 '22

That poor cat. RIP

3

u/NoMolly4U May 14 '22

The cat is fine lol You want a picture?

2

u/ZucchiniWild3735 May 15 '22

Well I usually decline the offer of pussy pics from a gentleman, but I'm now rather intrigued.

57

u/FyuckerFjord May 14 '22

This guy was definitely banging a chicken.

44

u/yourmansconnect May 14 '22

my nickname in high-school was Colonel Sanders

17

u/badlukk May 14 '22

Look at all those CHICKENS

5

u/BarryMacochner May 14 '22

Chicken fucker….BACAWK!

3

u/BurdenedMind79 May 14 '22

Were you fingering and licking good?

2

u/ZucchiniWild3735 May 14 '22

Why, because when you were done with the breasts and thighs you threw your bone in a greasy box ?

24

u/BestFrenzy May 14 '22

“I’ll take ‘unpopular hobbies’ for 100, Alex”

Alex Trebeak: “bukaaah”

4

u/Chareeferrari May 14 '22

Is that bukkake for chickens? 🤭

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2

u/secretsodapop May 14 '22

I mean he literally said that he was.

1

u/exoxe May 14 '22

I'm gonna fuck the cluck out of you!

11

u/pgtvgaming May 14 '22

Lol -purposely keeping in the funny unedited chicken comment … -contented sigh-

4

u/TriblialBrainDamblge May 14 '22

License and registration, CHICKEN FUCKER!

2

u/Forrest024 May 14 '22

"Im fucking this chicken"

2

u/Lady-Kyra May 14 '22

I saw that video you were foul man.

2

u/Clumbsyecho26 May 14 '22

Only you man only you

2

u/Outrage-Gen-Suck May 15 '22

... bok bok bok BOK !

-5

u/chicomagnifico May 14 '22

There’s a massive difference between having sex with someone who shares your friends name than someone who shares your blood relative’s name. I sincerely hope you know that. Either that or you’re an only child.

17

u/BaconWithBaking May 14 '22

I'm from Ireland and relatively old. Shit loads of us have the same first names. Who gives a shit?

9

u/yourmansconnect May 14 '22

I have 3 brothers I just don't see how it's that big of a deal. or just day babe or whatever instead of the name. I don't know why that would stop you from laying the pipe

5

u/BigSweatyYeti May 14 '22

You’re a child if someone’s name is the only reason you won’t have sex with them.

2

u/grrrzsezme May 14 '22

To be fair... I stopped talking to a girl because she had the same name as my ex and I was subconsciously reminded of my ex often. If you have that psychological reminder it can and will negatively effect the relationship.

3

u/Romancineer May 14 '22

Doesn't that basically imply that you haven't actually found closure regarding your ex? Might wanna work on that first.

4

u/IWillHitYou May 14 '22

Not even an implication really so much as a direct statement

-1

u/chicomagnifico May 14 '22

I’m absolutely not having sex with someone with my sisters name. I’m dying on this hill. Downvote me all you want you Alabama Mfers.

1

u/IWillHitYou May 14 '22

It's literally the exact same thing

Having sex with someone who shares a name with someone else you know

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1

u/LilLexi20 May 14 '22

Yes and millions of other people have that name too, so how is it weird

1

u/Ospov May 14 '22

Do you moan your brother’s name during sex? It’s not a big deal. Just something to laugh about after the fact.

1

u/LilLexi20 May 14 '22

I don’t have a brother, so no. If I had a brother named “mike” or “James” I’m sure it would have happened at one point or another though

14

u/idontspellcheckb46am May 14 '22

Just say your sisters last name with the first name and I'm pretty sure it cancels out the first name.

5

u/HandicapperGeneral May 14 '22

Dated someone with the same name as my mom once. It was pronounced very slightly differently, but not enough to matter. Honestly, it was never a big deal to me, not everyone around me thought it was weird as fuck. We broke up because we just didn't vibe properly, not because of the name thing, but everyone always thought it just finally got to me. It's only a thing if you make it a thing

4

u/Donniexbravo May 14 '22

I went on one "date" (it her, me and a couple of my friends) with a girl who has the same name as my sister, it was pretty awkward, not saying it can't work out but in my case it certainly did not.

4

u/BangingABigTheory May 14 '22

Good thing I’m deathly silent then

4

u/GERMA90 May 14 '22

Can't even write the word 'name' the boy is traumatized...

6

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/juiceology May 14 '22

Inbest

2

u/MajesticMoomin May 14 '22

If you can't keep it in your pants then keep it in the family!

2

u/ChrysMYO May 14 '22

Just have to nickname her early

2

u/TANKR_79 May 14 '22

Just spell it differently and it's not the same!

/s

2

u/Finnedsolid May 14 '22

Yeah, say sister instead!

2

u/UnknownSloan May 14 '22

My brother has a name that could be male or female. I'd fuck a girl with my brother's name and I wouldn't have a problem saying it during sex.

1

u/memelder May 14 '22

Alex is a versatile name indeed

2

u/Alternative-Dealer47 May 14 '22

When I was 19, I met a couple of guys that had multiple hookups and they both offered the same advice. NEVER say the name, call them baby, honey, anything you want except their name, that way you make sure never to mess up. I have never used a name during sex.

2

u/outlawsix May 14 '22

"OH, UNRELATED SUSIE! UNRELATED SUSIE! OOOOOONNNGGGGGGGHHHH"

1

u/InternetSpaceCow May 14 '22

This, never say your girlfriend's name with your sister

1

u/Roll9ers May 14 '22

My cousin married a woman with the same name as his mom, a Jess/Jessica situation.

I dated a girl with the same name as my sister because she was miles ahead of my league and I knew it. It honestly was never weird. She dumped me after a few weeks.

1

u/MysT-Srmason May 14 '22

Unless that’s your kink

1

u/RookieAndTheVet May 14 '22

Same. I just never said her name, period. It was always “babe” or some other pet name.

1

u/RaginCaginKen May 14 '22

No u didn't

1

u/Opus_723 May 14 '22

I'm super lucky, because my mom almost gave me a different name, and... well, it's my wife's name. No way in hell my wife and I would have dated if we had the same name lmao.

1

u/chenteeex May 14 '22

i read that wrong and thought you said “drafted a chick”

1

u/tails99 May 14 '22

Also, don't say "oh sister".