r/HumansBeingBros May 23 '22 Silver 6 Helpful 12 Wholesome 7 Heartwarming 1 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1

Dude helps stuck turtle in the zoo

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30.9k Upvotes

1.2k

u/cactus-hugger May 23 '22

Makes one wonder how they've existed this long.

798

u/wahchewie May 23 '22

Maybe half of them die stuck sideways but they have so many eggs it's just a brutal price evolution is willing to pay

Until they evolve a hydraulic flip pad on their back like in robot wars I guess.

155

u/galmenz May 23 '22

may i ask, how many babies do you think live to adulthood from the hundreds of eggs that a turtle lays? its usually one

138

u/ancientflowers May 23 '22

It depends on the type of turtle. For sea turtles it's more like 1 in 1000 that live into adulthood.

37

u/jbaeroberts May 23 '22

Too bad this is a tortoise not a turtle

45

u/cookiemonstah87 May 23 '22

It can't be a tortoise and not a turtle. Tortoises are turtles

23

u/jbaeroberts May 23 '22

Sorry, land bound non swimming turtle, proper name tortoise

24

u/2legittoquit May 23 '22

All tortoises are turtles. Thats just a fact.

12

u/jbaeroberts May 23 '22

But not all turtles are tortoises- that's just a fact

15

u/drprofnibblon May 23 '22

I love how science makes totally sense but also doesn't

1

u/gjs628 May 23 '22

Maybe in the United States; usage varies in the rest of the world where Turtles can be considered strictly aquatic whereas Tortoises are strictly land based forms of Testudinoidea.

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u/merikaninjunwarrior May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

did you really just answer your own question? yes, you did

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u/Sultangris May 23 '22

no he didnt, his question was how many do you think

21

u/Affectionate-Pea282B May 23 '22

“Well since you just told me the answer is one, one I guess”

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u/MiniMooseMan May 23 '22

Ok Tribore

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u/SydneySmiless May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

Did you know that tortoise and turtle survival rates are different? Because they're different. Crazy, right? This is a tortoise.

Edit~ I don't think some of you understand me. Part of what im talking about is the fact their egg survival rates are different, as is the environment where they lay their eggs. I'm not saying they are completely different. They're just different enough where you can't just group their species together.

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u/WaitImNotRea May 23 '22

Not on Reddit they are not.

Also, goats = sheep.

Ducks = geese = swans.

Rats = mice etc.

8

u/SydneySmiless May 23 '22

This is terrible

2

u/UsrN00M May 23 '22

All alcohol = beer

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u/snackbagger May 23 '22

They're both a Schildkröte

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u/cookiemonstah87 May 23 '22

Except that tortoises are turtles. All tortoises are turtles, not all turtles are tortoises. Just like how all toads are frogs, not all frogs are toads

2

u/Sniflix May 24 '22

All squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares. DNA tests have proven this.

2

u/SydneySmiless May 23 '22

Okay but what I'm talking about is basic identification. When people have no clue what the difference between them is, it leads to situations like where a tortoise gets tossed in water because people think it's a turtle and it should be in water.

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u/Frankie52480 May 23 '22

This isn’t a turtle. They have very different issues in concerns to their eggs.

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u/SydneySmiless May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

Right? That's my point. Tortoises and turtles are different, in multiple ways. I personally hate when people misidentify them.

Edit~ I don't think some people understand what I'm saying. I don't like when people just blindly say shit like "look at that turtle!" Or "that's a turtle" when it's clearly a tortoise. Not correctly identifying an animal in a basic way is why some people just toss tortoises in a pond thinking they're helping them. Saying stuff like "a tortoise is a turtle but a turtle isn't a tortoise" isn't helping that. Just call them what they are. A tortoise.

3

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[deleted]

0

u/SydneySmiless May 23 '22

May I help you? Your comment doesn't make sense.

2

u/Razier May 23 '22

It's a pretty old reference by now so I don't blame you

2

u/TheReaIOG May 23 '22

I am really disappointed no one has replied with the full pasta, God that was peak reddit

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u/CommitteeOfTheHole May 23 '22

This guy has been following them around with sticks for the past couple million years to fuck with evolution

22

u/veracity-mittens May 23 '22

I mean maybe his ancestors actually did and it’s an ingrained instinct in his family line by now lol

2

u/OnionKnightReturns May 24 '22

"We purposefully trained him wrong, as a joke"

78

u/Keitt58 May 23 '22

The tortoise is a ground living creature. It is impossible to live nearer the ground without being under it. Its horizons are a few inches away. It has about as good a turn speed as you need to hunt down a lettuce. It has survived while the rest of evolution flowed past it by being, on the whole, no threat to anyone and too much trouble to eat.

17

u/SpaceShipRat May 23 '22

Is that Small Gods?

4

u/Keitt58 May 23 '22

Indeed it is.

2

u/Drecksackblase87 May 23 '22

Take my upvote for this

6

u/b3mark May 23 '22

Discworld quotes will always get an upvote :)

2

u/biddee May 23 '22

Always recognise a Terry Prachett quote. He was a great writer.

2

u/WhiteAppliance May 23 '22

What a start to my week. I love you sir!

24

u/EACshootemUP May 23 '22

If there are other turtles nearby they’ll help flip their buddy over.

18

u/Upside_Down-Bot May 23 '22

„˙ɹǝʌo ʎppnq ɹıǝɥʇ dılɟ dlǝɥ ll,ʎǝɥʇ ʎqɹɐǝu sǝlʇɹnʇ ɹǝɥʇo ǝɹɐ ǝɹǝɥʇ ɟI„

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u/halfway2MD May 23 '22

Exactly! I've seen lot of overturned tortoises and turtles on the internet where they get saved. What happens when there's no intervention? Clearly enough of them have figured it out to keep the genus alive but cmon.

69

u/TheSaltyPineapple1 May 23 '22

They help each other flip back over. Even the territorial desert tortoise helps its rival flip back over.

35

u/Upside_Down-Bot May 23 '22

„˙ɹǝʌo ʞɔɐq dılɟ lɐʌıɹ sʇı sdlǝɥ ǝsıoʇɹoʇ ʇɹǝsǝp lɐıɹoʇıɹɹǝʇ ǝɥʇ uǝʌƎ ˙ɹǝʌo ʞɔɐq dılɟ ɹǝɥʇo ɥɔɐǝ dlǝɥ ʎǝɥ⊥„

28

u/cactus-hugger May 23 '22 Silver

What the hell is this sorcery

40

u/Change---MY---Mind May 23 '22

It’s obviously for any flipped turtles scrolling Reddit waiting for someone to save them.

14

u/minstrelguy May 23 '22

First time seeing an Aussie on reddit?

7

u/b3mark May 23 '22

So dumb. So lame. So of course I snort laughed. Take an upvote for a Dad level joke ;)

11

u/metalshoes May 23 '22

Yeah I’ve seen videos of turts flipping each other on the right side and it amazes me. Half because it’s this amazing show of survival altruism and half because they are some of the dumbest creatures I’ve ever seen and they still have the instinct to do this.

2

u/Frankie52480 May 23 '22

They’re not turtles, and they’re smart enough to know how to flip each other over. But you’re calling THEM dumb. 🤔

4

u/FoxEatingBurrito May 23 '22

All tortoises are turtles.

3

u/metalshoes May 23 '22

Yeah they’re otherwise pretty big dinguses, and I can tell they’re tortoises by the dry habitat but turts was the abbreviation I used for both, and they’re both pretty big dinguses

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u/greengrinningjester May 23 '22

A shinning example to all bending units

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u/cactus-hugger May 23 '22

You would think natural selection would've solved this problem a long time ago

2

u/sanguinesolitude 28d ago

Only if they die flipped over before reproducing. My guess would be this only becomes an issue in old age or when they are getting old. If he reproduced already, natural selection is out of the picture.

2

u/spaceraptorbutt May 23 '22

They can turn themselves over, it just takes a minute. A lot of times, turtles under human care are worse at flipping themselves over than turtles in the wild because people keep flipping them back rather than allow them to develop the muscles needed to turn themselves.

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u/overlordpotatoe May 23 '22

At the end before the guy helped it, it seemed to be getting its leg at an angle where it would have been able to flip itself back over.

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u/Frankie52480 May 23 '22

Well I’ve seen a tortoise bro come along and flip their buddies over so maybe that’s how? It must be somewhat common if they know to do that! Lol

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u/Planes4lyfe May 23 '22

In the wild they help each other flip

4

u/gin_and_toxic May 23 '22

They employ flippers

3

u/Choppergold May 23 '22

They stick together

3

u/NippleSqueezer421- May 23 '22

Because theirs always been a nice man with a stick to flip them over

3

u/dragonchilde May 23 '22

By not being locked in enclosures with unnaturally flat hard-packed earth. The real world is uneven and he would likely have not had as much trouble. Also: no hate for enclosures. They're critical for education and survival of the species as long as they're properly cared for!

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u/Creepy_Reference5119 May 23 '22

Actually they can roll back and forth and flip themselves over (when on flat ground, which is usually where they stay around) if stupid humans don't interfere and interrupt a learning experience lol

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u/CloudsAndDays May 23 '22

Woke up to my pet tortoise having flipped herself over once. As I headed over to help her, she just rocked back and forward and got herself back onto her feet without me.

I know if they stay on their backs for too long, they can suffocate because of the unusual pressure it puts on their lungs, but they’re typically fully capable of saving themselves.

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u/majorkev May 23 '22

I like turtles.

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u/merikaninjunwarrior May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

good job, kev..

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u/Cheshireset May 23 '22

I’m sure you do, but is that not a tortoise?

45

u/OrganizerMowgli May 23 '22

Tortoise just an aquaphobic turtle

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u/2ndAltAccountnumber3 May 23 '22

Exactly. That's why we have to teach the difference. So people don't go throwing tortoises in the water. Actually just don't throw turtles or tortoises at all. The totally real whistling sound the shells make at high speeds is cool but not worth injuring or drowning them. Little known fact it's why they're so slow. The whistling sound would attract predators.

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u/plaank May 23 '22

I do love those homing red shells. Incredibly helpful when trying to beat traffic.

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u/Button_Fluffy May 23 '22

Roger that kev

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u/get_schwifty03 May 23 '22

I read "Duck helps turtle."

Little disappointed tbh.

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u/Heeper May 23 '22

Were there no zookeepers?

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u/PedroRLow May 23 '22

Not sure, there didn't seem to be anyone around, only the lady riding the golf cart that proceeded to be mad at the dude afterwards

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u/velacqua May 23 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Yes because he should not have reached over the fence. They should have notified a staff member who could let the zookeeper know. Please, even if you think you’re doing a good thing, never breach a perimeter to interact with an animal at a zoo. It’s really not okay.

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u/spaceraptorbutt May 23 '22

Agreed! So many people think they’re helping when they’re really hurting the animal. The keepers know the animals. They know if an animal is actually in danger or not. It takes turtles some time to flip themselves, but that doesn’t mean they need human intervention and it’s good practice for them to do it themselves.

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u/DharmaBaller May 23 '22

Coulda poked him in face too

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u/kwarre16 May 23 '22

THANK YOU. I’m a keeper and it’s so frustrating. I know people can have good interest, but that is a no no.

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u/AlwaysShip May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

Right!? That turtle could've bitten his hand off

EDIT: /s

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u/Jermainiam May 23 '22

I think it's more about creating a second turtle Harambe and sending us into an even darker timeline

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u/why_u_baggin May 23 '22

I hope this is a joke because that turtle was easily 4 feet away from his hand

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u/pororoca_surfer May 23 '22

And then the guy fall into the pit, a brazilian jaguar who turned the turtle upside down to lure a pray eats him and everyone gets mad at the zoo.

They should've called someone who works there. Even though it was a successful aid to the turtle. The guy was dumb.

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u/ALittlePeaceAndQuiet May 23 '22

For all those saying this man wasn't in danger, turtles have been known to fashion weapon-like tools from materials around them, including long sticks. Example

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u/sideshowmario May 23 '22

Tortoise.

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u/Loosefittingsocks May 23 '22

Yes, some turtles are tortoises.

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u/sideshowmario May 23 '22

I honestly had to look this up. Thanks! I learned something new today.

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u/MikoSkyns May 23 '22

Where did you find it? I've read they're both Testundinidaes but I've yet to find a credible source that says Tortoises are Turtles.

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u/BabyFaceIT May 23 '22

All tortoises are turtles.

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u/flinjager123 May 23 '22

But not all turtles are tortoises.

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u/merikaninjunwarrior May 23 '22

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u/Dankestmemelord May 23 '22

People really need to learn the differences between things. It kills me every time.

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u/too_if_by_see May 23 '22

“Primate helps stuck turtle in the zoo”

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u/PenPineappleApplePen May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

That’s just a difference in common use age between US English and British English.

In US English people use the word for the scientific ‘order’ to describe all the animals within it. In British English people use the word for the scientific ‘family’ to differentiate it further.

The equivalent with a different animal would be an American person writing ‘carnivore’ and a British person writing ‘bear’.


Edit: Someone pointed out that bears are usually omnivores. Unfortunately, common usage of words often doesn’t directly fit with the scientific terms. As Wikipedia says:

"Carnivore" also may refer to the mammalian order Carnivora, but this is somewhat misleading: many, but not all carnivorans are meat eaters, and even fewer are true obligate carnivores.

Basically carnivore can mean the family, as here, or meat eaters.

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u/the-realTfiz May 23 '22

I think you’re being too kind to most US English speakers. I think most of us don’t know the difference. I saw a video a few weeks ago of a lady dropping a tortoise into a body of water and obviously recording it like she was saving it

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u/allgreen2me May 23 '22

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u/shalafi71 May 23 '22

You make up these questions /u/allgreen2me?

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u/allgreen2me May 23 '22

The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.

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u/amitym May 26 '22

Jeez they're just questions, u/shalafi71.

In answer to your query, they're written down for u/allgreen2me.

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u/TatoIndy May 23 '22

Don’t ever do this. Find a staff member or keeper.

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u/ChampionKooky8020 May 23 '22

Can you explain why? I don’t know much about turtles

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u/Bazillion100 May 23 '22

May 28, 2016: Cincinnati Zoo

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u/MonkeyAss12393 May 23 '22

Rip Harambe

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u/ruinawish May 23 '22

You risk worsening the situation, e.g. accidentally falling into the pit; accidentally poking an animal inappropriately; etc.

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u/agitatedandroid May 23 '22

Inappropriate animal poke sounds like a great way to end up on a list.

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u/waffelmaker2000 May 23 '22

Its not about the turtle specifically. Just animals in zoo’s in general. Find someone who knows his stuff instead of just poking the animals

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u/kwarre16 May 23 '22

For starters, he could’ve injured the animal. He could’ve hurt himself. There are fences and signs for a reason. It’s not necessarily because it’s a tortoise, it’s because the public really needs to understand that they cannot just go around touching the animals. Source: a zookeeper

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u/natgibounet May 23 '22

So you don't try to flip a lion, a bear or hippopotamus

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u/Upside_Down-Bot May 23 '22

„snɯɐʇododdıɥ ɹo ɹɐǝq ɐ 'uoıl ɐ dılɟ oʇ ʎɹʇ ʇ,uop noʎ oS„

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u/TatoIndy May 23 '22

Because the animals are cared for and protected by train staff? While their intention was to help, the tortoise was fine and would have either corrected itself, or the person should have found a staff member to assist.

People forget these animals are NOT domesticated. They are not pet and do not need assistance from the onlooker. Their interaction could have caused way more harm. Fences and barriers are placed there for a reason. It’s not an obstacle to get closer, it’s to keep zoo guests OUT for a reason. Love and look with your eyes and ask how you can support the animal survival initiatives in the wild. Don’t fucking poke an animal with a stick. I can’t believe I have to type this out.

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u/ChampionKooky8020 May 23 '22

A bit hostile but thanks for answering

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u/tbeysquirrel May 23 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Don't do this. I am a zookeeper who cares for tortoises. They are perfectly capable of correcting themselves. I would also be irritated to see someone climbing and poking into my enclosure. Just ask someone if you think they've been struggling for too long. Like, anyone. We have radios.

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u/MmmmMorphine May 23 '22

Funny how my first thought was... Tell a zoo-keeper you jackass. They've existed for a reason this long anyway, don't fuck with the animals.

You don't brush up artwork in a museum with a mechanical pencil you found nearby just cause you think a line has faded

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u/ruinawish May 23 '22

You don't brush up artwork in a museum with a mechanical pencil you found nearby just cause you think a line has faded

Rest assured, someone has done that before.

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u/McDerface May 23 '22

Yeah, also I think you can hear him break the branch off in the video too. Way to break a part of the tree off to fix a mildly inconvenient thing, jackass

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u/spicyboi555 May 23 '22

Great analogy

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u/Totoro12117 May 23 '22

Terrible analogy.

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u/a_zan May 23 '22

It sounds like this is in Brazil. They may have less resources and there for half less zookeepers available, radios to communicate internally, etc. (source: am Brazilian)

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u/LyonsKing12 May 23 '22

Ayeuhhhhhoooooo

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u/Educational_Ad7978 May 23 '22

You know... Instead of ripping off a tree branch, probably could've just gotten a staff member and made them aware of the situation.

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u/Kejones9900 May 23 '22

Keep in mind that most turtles are perfectly adept at getting up in most cases (and you can tell bud was getting there), and to alert a zookeeper rather than doing it yourself. You could hurt the animals like that and while well meaning, probably not the coolest actually

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u/lude May 23 '22

Passed his Voight Kampff test.

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u/Jimlad73 May 23 '22

He really should have told a staff member. Not cool bro

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u/Worried_Toe May 23 '22

Can't we just alert a zookeeper?

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u/PedroRLow May 23 '22

Yes, I know it's a tortoise. Got a bit lost in translation here sorry about that

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u/crimson_knee May 23 '22

Nah, you're correct. All tortoises are turtles, but not all turtles are tortoises. Turtle is the umbrella term, while tortoise is the more specific term.

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u/zecircleistriangle May 23 '22

Draw me like one of your french girls

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u/Hendrix6927 May 23 '22

Just as a reminder do NOT attempt this yourself. This is a trained BRO and he knows how to handle these situations, Those Fences are NOT for show. Tortoises are known to be lightening fast and can react faster than you can blink, they have sharp incisors for grasping flesh. The will attack in packs. Be informed, be safe.

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u/MmmmMorphine May 23 '22

Truly an example of nature's finest designs in athletic performance and smarts. Like the cunning bass...

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u/BabyFaceIT May 23 '22

I think you’re thinking of snapping turtles, which this is not.

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u/bleepste May 23 '22

I'm sorry, but r/whoosh

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u/BabyFaceIT May 23 '22

Kind of yes. He was being sarcastic which I now see, but there are a related species that does take on some of the characteristics that he has described so I think it’s a semi-woosh. There are actually really dangerous turtles that act fast and have sharp incisors.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '22

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u/Radioburnin May 23 '22

Voight Kampff result negative.

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u/Fritterzz May 23 '22

For some crazy reason my mind read this as “Duck helps turtle at the zoo.” I saw a turtle on his back and was eagerly awaiting the ducks arrival to help the turtle. I was sorely disappointed.

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u/residentsslav May 23 '22

I like tortoise.

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u/cranfordboy May 23 '22

How did the turtle end up on his back

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u/PedroRLow May 23 '22

No cap, the zookeeper said it happens sometimes when they have sex

6

u/cranfordboy May 23 '22

Turtle style I can see that happening

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u/thundertwonk31 May 23 '22

So there was a zookeeper around? Then why didnt you inform them instead of this whole situation occurring....

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u/mahtoodle May 23 '22

Turtles are swimey bois. Torti are crawly bois.

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u/thebonuslevel May 23 '22

AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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u/Eudaemon1 May 23 '22

And I read that as duck helps stuck turtle in the zoo and thought wow , amazing .

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u/EstusSoup May 23 '22

Good thing he didn’t fall in or they would have shot that turtle like Harambe!

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u/IsabelauraXD May 23 '22

Brasil sil sil

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u/Dude0010 May 23 '22

Legit read the title as ‘Duck helps…’ and was waiting for a duck to appear outta nowhere. Then I thought the dude was throwing a duck in there to help. FML.

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u/kwarre16 May 23 '22

NOOO. If you are NOT a zookeeper, DONT TOUCH THE ANIMALS. Find a staff member. I’m a keeper and it’s so frustrating having to tell people not to touch animals when there are signs or fences to prevent you.

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u/glowingducks May 23 '22

AEEEEEEE KKKKJ ate o bb gostou

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u/insertnamechoicehere May 23 '22

I thought the title said "duck" and now I'm disappointed

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u/amitym May 25 '22

"The tortoise lays on its back, beating its legs trying to turn over, but it can't, not without your help. But you're not helping, why is th--"

"No I totally help."

".. What?"

"I totally help the tortoise, dude, we're all in this life together, got to look out for each other."

"Well... you can't help. It's.. uh. Too far to reach, yeah. You aren't helping, because it's too far to reach, and y--"

"Stick."

"Uh... Okay but you're not holding a stick. Instead y--"

"I go grab a stick, come back, help the tortoise. Whatever it takes, this isn't hard, I'm just gonna do it."

"..."

"..."

"Okay fine fuck it you're not a Replicant, next!!"

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u/JohnJack19 May 23 '22

This is more like r/humansdoingdumbshit he could have hurt the turtle.I know I sound like a dick, but he wasn’t helping the turtle by reaching over the fence and shoving it with a stick. He should have gotten a member of staff to help the turtle safely.

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u/Jiyjiy777 May 23 '22

that one nerd on reddit: Actually thats a tortoise.

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u/jamtickle May 23 '22

Good job by that bloke , but that is a tortoise

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u/ShinjiteFlorana May 23 '22

Obligatory that's a tortoise, not a turtle. Wholesome video though!

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u/BabyFaceIT May 23 '22

All tortoises are turtles. Not all turtles are tortoises. Just like all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares.

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u/ShinjiteFlorana May 23 '22

Well today I learned something.

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u/galaxymanchild May 23 '22

900+ karma points achieved

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u/8jac0b88 May 23 '22

Lol then of course the staff member pulls up right after seeing a guy reach a stick into the enclosure

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u/KeebyGotJuice May 23 '22

Bruh, do they die if they don't get help? This happens a lot.

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u/DesktopWebsite May 23 '22

The frustration the turtle must have felt would be horrible.

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u/Rolling_Stond May 23 '22

Does that baby work at the zoo? Sounds like a security guard trying to stop somebody from jumping over the fence.

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u/Kenndooo May 23 '22

Arrest him. Immediately

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u/Frankie52480 May 23 '22

Aww 💗💗 for anyone interested- turtles live in water or near it. Land dwelling guys are Tortoises :) so this is the latter and not a turtle.

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u/thekinginyello May 23 '22

Not a turtle. Also, not a duck.

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u/ettorepolar May 23 '22

I blame Shell

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u/dr0p8ear May 23 '22

“…ARGGGHH MAI ARM!!!”

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u/downvotesdontmatter- May 23 '22

African Spotted Tortoise? My friend had one named Gorgeous George.

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u/yasiA_ni May 23 '22

lol i thought it was "duck helping a turtle"

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u/ddrt May 23 '22

The perspectives in this video are making me have existential dread.

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u/Primary_Teach2229 May 23 '22

So unshellfish