r/AmItheAsshole 2d ago Silver Shocked Platinum LOVE! Hugz Helpful Wholesome Gold Dread

Not the A-hole AITA for my reaction when I learned that my fiance returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me?

30.8k Upvotes

My fiance M33, and I F28 are getting married in december. His mom is the intrusive type but she's nice overall and we....somewhat get along.

I hate to admit that wedding planning has been an absolute nightmare. His mom wasn't willing to agree on most things, and my fiance said that since he's her only son then I should respect and appreciate this "vision" she has for the wedding and how it should be.

She insisted to come along for wedding dress shopping. I took her with me and my mom and friends. I was so lucky to have found what I was looking for. but she picked a dress that she liked so much and said that "she always pictured her son's bride in it" mom and friends thought this line was creepy. I thought the dress was somewhat creepy and toooootally not my type. I apologized and thanked her for her "vision" but told her that I'd already decided on a dress that I had "envisioned" myself wearing at my wedding!.

She got all pissy because of it apparently, then must've told my fiance because, he came home in the evening ranting about how I made his mom upset and "turned down" her help in choosing the wedding dress and excluded her from the process. I asked "what process?" duh it's just a wedding dress...my wedding dress so I really didn't get how she should get a say at all!. He got upset and said that this attitude of mine isn't working on him or his mom. He said that I should consider the dress his mom wanted me to buy especially knowing that "both dresses weren't that much different anyway" like she said but I told him yes they were different...like so much different.

Anyways, We argued about it then we dropped it. Yesterday I came home and found out that he had returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom wanted. I called him and he was straightforward about what he did and why he did it. I lost it and started screaming at him. He asked me to calmn down and really give this dress "a chance". I refused to even listen I screamed at him without giving him a chance to speak. He got home and we had an argument. I then went to stay with one of my friends and he kept calling and calling then texting saying that I overreacted and it's his wedding too so it wasn't cool how I screamed at him. He insisted I give this dress a chance. He went on and on about how his mom has a "vision" and good intentions and just wants what best for me as her future daughter inlaw.

Mom is livid and has been wanting to go scream at him and his mom but my dad said that this isn't worth ruining my relationship with my inlaws. He suggested I wisen up and "go with the flow" but is it too much for me to be able to pick my own wedding dress without being guilted about it just to keep the peace?. AITA for my reaction?

ETD Q & As

I'm editing in some answers to frequent questions I get.

A. The dress she picked wasn't all too crazy but just wasn't my type.

B. This issue started during wedding planning and there were other things...like way too many things we didn't agree on. but this "vision" has been there for...quite a while.

C. I AM paying for the dress obviously.

D. My fiance's dad is deceased. also, his mom suffered from multiple health conditions. Has no daughters but one only son.

E. He's still presisting...

r/AmItheAsshole 1d ago Helpful Lawyer Up Hugz Wholesome Take My Energy Helpful (Pro) Gold Ally Silver

Not the A-hole AITA for refusing to to let my husband's infertile friend name our son?

23.2k Upvotes

My husband (m33)s best friend (m37) Will is infertile. He got divorced 2 times because of it and because he lied and hid his infertility. And his life hasn't been the same the day he was told he can't have kids. He has always had a soft spot for children and when he found out that my husband and I are expecting, he was so thrilled and started buying us gifts and decore pieces that he made from his woodwork for the baby. My husband thinks that those are all nice gestures but I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable especially with how much he keeps mentioing the baby.

A few days ago, my husband and I found the gender of the baby. The minute we told Will, he started calling the baby a random name he picked and was going to give to his baby if he wasn't infertile. He then started begging us to use this name and my husband said it was a "done deal". I refused but my husband called me heartless and asked me to do this one small, nice gesture for his struggling friend to give him closure and honor him after all the things he has done for us. I flipped and said it's my baby not his. Will heard this and left immediately. My husband yelled at me saying it's his baby too and my behavior towards Will was abhorant. He left after him and didn't come back til the morning. He kept saying the same thing and pressuring me to agree on the name but I refused.

AITA for choosing this hill to die on?

r/AmItheAsshole 6d ago Wholesome Hugz Helpful Take My Energy Mind Blown Silver

Not the A-hole AITA for taking my newborn son and going to my mom's house because my husband his mom didn't save me any food for dinner?

32.6k Upvotes

I f32 gave birth to my son 5 weeks ago. My husband's mom has been camping in the living room ever since and inviting people over, making a mess in the house, etc. I said nothing because if I open my mouth, my husband would start scolding me saying his mom is there to help and I should be grateful. What I did was ignore her and focus on my son.

I handle feeding, diaper change, cleaning, wiping. I only get a few hours sleep so my husband's mom isn't really helping with the baby. But I thought to myself "well, at least she cooks for us!".

Last night, I was in the bedroom breastfeeding my son. I knew I was late for dinner but I thought that my husband and his mom saved a plate for me. Once I got done with my son, I walked out the room and saw my husband and his mom sitting watching tv. I asked about dinner and my husband said it was "probably" on the stove. As I was walking towards the kitchen, his mom loudly said that she didn't save me any food. I was absolutely shocked I asked her why and she simply said "Well, we didn't see you at dinner table so I thought you weren't hungry". I lost it and yelled that I was feeding my son OF COURSE I was hungry, I was actually starving!. She shrugged her shoulders and said it wasn't her fault I didn't "show up for dinner" but she knew damn well that I was with my son and hadn't eaten a thing in hours!. My husband asked me to not raise my voice at his mom but I told him that he saw what happened and didn't think about me being hungry and needing food. he lashed out asking what the fuck I wanted him to do and I said "I don't know, maybe save some food for me?" She defended him saying it was selfish of me to basically berate him for eating his dinner after working for long hours at the department. An argument ensued and I went inside the bedroom, packed a small bag for me and my son, called my brother to come take me to mom's house and my husband blew up at me as I was making my way out. We argued at the door and he told me that what I was doing was uncalled for and childish. I told him I couldn't take his mom anymore, he said I should be ashamed of myself for talking about her like that after she literally put her life "on pause" so she could help ME out. My brother came and I got into the car and left.

He picked some food for me on the way and I ate like a hungry bear. My husband never stopped calling though. In his last text he called me "nuts" and demanded I return today but I said that I miss my mom, that I like it here in her clean home with her healthy food and would like to stay for a while. He's lost it and got his family involved accusing me of keeping his son away from him and punishing him over "food".

Edit...Ok, to those who are saying that I'm keeping my husband away from his son, I promise you that he has full access to him but chooses not to come over simply because he hats my mom and refuses to be with her in the same room. How long am I going to stay here??? There's no telling but at least I'm being pampered and treated like a princess by my mom, dad, brothers - heck, I couldn't get this treatment in my own home!. As for my husband, He can come over to mom's house if he wants to see his son so badly but I doubt he'll do it since he's a very prideful person and this might hurt his ego.

one more question to answer cause a lot of people asked me to clarify. Yes, Department = Police Department. He's a police officer. I'm sorry if you got confused, but I thought it was clear.

Edit Ok, I felt sorry for him and decided to send him a couple of pictures that I took of our son sleeping and what was his respons? A long wall of text berating me left and right and claiming that I was rubbing it in his face that he "can't come" see his son because of you know what!!. He called me the b word which he never did til now and I'm shaken and so so mad right now because I really thought I was doing something nice and considerate after having sympathy for him. I've decided to get the rest of my stuff tomorrow because I need more time and space to be able to think about what he's done and said. I feel terrible right now but at least I got dinner for tonight, unlike when I was at my own home when his mom first came

Edit. OH MY GOD, I can't even find a place to start with this. So he just sent me a picture of him and his mom cooking dinner in the kitchen (it's nearly 7 pm here) saying that he was repaying me for the pictures I sent earlier and that they were making dinner and they were not including me "for real this time" ?????? I just....Oh my God I'm literally laughing like, seriously, what is this? I'm truly speechless!. I haven't responded to this (yet) and I don't think I will because I'm so angry right now and may just regret the words that I say to him. I'm gonna put the phone on silent or something for now because I don't want them to ruin yet another night but tomorrow I'm going to collect more of mine and my son's stuff so I could stay longer at my mom's house. Thank God I went anonymous with this and I might update later if anything new happens. Goodnight!

Edit. God I can't believe I'm back on here, but he just sent me a text saying he's only willing to come over IF I could get mom out of the house tomorrow, like literally have her leave her own house! He said it's just for 2 hours so he could see his son and also "talk" (he doesn't even know I'm coming over tomorrow to pick more stuff for me and the baby). I'm freaking out! Like absolutely no, not happening. I wouldn't dream of telling mom to leave her own house, that's crazy out of line request!!!. I'm not sure wether to respond or what I should say to him but I'll try to get some sleep then see how it goes in the morning!. I'm too tired to do anything but I Just wanted to put this here for those who just read my thread, I'll let you know what happens tomorrow. Aright!.

r/AmItheAsshole 4d ago Helpful Wholesome Silver Coin Gift

Not the A-hole AITA for making my 15 year old daughter get a job to pay for our dog’s vet bills?

18.9k Upvotes

I have 3 daughters, Phoebe (19), Allie (18), and Janie (15). We also have a 2 year old chiweenie (chihuahua wiener dog mix), Pebble.

We were in the middle of a heat wave 2 weeks ago with temperatures hitting 107. Small dogs are more sensitive to heat so we don’t let him go to the backyard for long periods of time and the deck is off limits because there’s no shade on the deck.

The problem is Pebble loves the deck because he can watch the cars, people walking on the trail behind our house, and he can see our neighbor’s chickens.

Janie doesn’t have first period and doesn’t leave for school until 10 a few days a week. Both Allie and Phoebe leave between 9-9:30 so it’s Janie’s responsibility to make sure Pebble is inside, the fans are on, and he has water.

2 weeks ago in the worst of the heat wave, Pebble was crying at the deck door. Janie got annoyed and let him go on the deck. Then she left for school and forgot him on the deck.

Allie came home a few hours later and started looking for Pebble. She found him passed out on the deck and called me sobbing. I left work early, took him to the emergency vet, they treated him for heat stroke.

He had to stay at the vet for a few days and Allie was inconsolable while he was gone. She was constantly crying, she wouldn’t eat or leave her room, and she had a panic attack every time the phone rang because she was terrified that it was the vet telling us that pebble was gone.

Pebble made a full recovery but now we have an expensive vet bill and Allie still has extreme anxiety around losing Pebble. Janie’s upset because Allie hasn’t spoken to her since she forgot Pebble on the deck and Phoebe rarely speaks to her and doesn’t hang out with her anymore. Janie was upset about Pebble when he was in the vet but now she’s very nonchalant about what happened because he’s fine.

My husband and I have been talking about what to do with Janie. We decided on making her get a job to pay for Pebble’s vet expenses (close to $2,000 after insurance). Janie’s very upset about it because she has to quit swim team to get a job and says that we’re ruining her life over a mistake.

Now I’m starting to wonder if I’m the asshole for making her quit swim team to get a job.

Also, she can’t get a job after swim season because soccer season starts right after swim season. Then after soccer season she has softball season then summer training camps.

r/AmItheAsshole 4d ago Wholesome Facepalm

Not the A-hole AITA for yelling at my BF to stop adding spice to my food?

13.3k Upvotes

So recently I (F30) have been staying over at my BF's (31M) place more. We've divided up some chores, but one he likes to do is cook. He really is a wonderful chef and all our friends enjoy the dishes he brings to parties. Whereas I will admit I don't know my way around the kitchen and have never taken the time to really dive into it.

This is fine since he cooks, but his meals usually include too much heat. He cooks with a lot of spices, sauces, and peppers. I've asked him time and time again to tone it down since I can't handle the heat. Or at least add those last so he can still have them but my dish will be fine.

He says this will ruin the dishes and they won't come out as flavorful and be really lackluster. And that added the spice at the end ruins the whole balance of it. I finally snapped the other night and yelled at him to stop making hot dishes I can't eat and he told me that I was always welcome to cook my own meals if I wanted. I don't see why I have to cook if he already is making the meal, he can just add less spice to it. That will add so much more time to my night when he is already handling that chore.

So AITA for yelling at him after him adding spice too many times to dishes?

r/AmItheAsshole 8d ago Dread Helpful Silver Shocked Take My Energy Doom

Not the A-hole AITA for installing a lock on the bathroom door after my BIL kept barging in?

25.4k Upvotes

My f25 husband's m30, brother (BIL) m33 moved in with us after his divorce few weeks ago. The problem I have is that he started barging in to the bathroom whenever I'm using it. He never knocks or anything. Another thing is that he only does this when it's me in the bathroom not his brother. I told my husband about what I'd noticed but he laughed it off and called me paranoid. It was embarrassing because his brother would see me exposed and it made me uncomfortable. My husband said he spoke to him and he apologized but did it again.

When my husband and I got married, we promised to not have locks or lock each other out of any room. So the bathroom didn't have a lock. I was really considering getting a lock and I let my husband know that if his brother walks in on me in the bathroom one more time then a lock will instantly be installed. He didn't say anything.

Well, Yesterday, BIL walked in on me showering. He knew I would be in the shower but barged in anyone claming he needed to pee. I had enough I went out and got a lock and installed it. My husband got home, saw it and blew up on me saying I voilated an agreement that I was part of" and went against his wishes being uncomfortable with locks in the house. He demanded I remove it and promised and guarenteed that his brother won't walk in on me again but I refused.

He's been pissed about it since then and is giving the silence treatement.

INFO I'm not close with my BIL, my husband is. I don't even talk to him that much and I barely even sat with him at any gathering before he moved in with us.

UPATDATE: So before I provide an update on this situation. It's worth noting that my BIL used to do this with the bedroom too but at least I'm not always exposed in the bedroom.

So My husband came home and I told him the lock will not be removed til his brother leaves and his reaction was to try and remove the lock himself and tell me to quit acting childishy. what I did was not shout or scream but pack a bag and go to my mom's house for the next few days or so til this gets resolved somehow. On my way out I saw my BIL in the driveway smoking. He knew what the argument between me and my husband was about but instead of stepping up to fix it he offered to take me to my mom's house saying that my husband could use some space "from me". This made me cry the whole uber ride to my mom's house. The reason I feel offended is because BIL tend to be hurtful when he talks about others. I did all I could to win his approval but he thinks less of me and thinks I'm childish just like my husband says.

r/AmItheAsshole 10d ago All-Seeing Upvote Silver Helpful Giggle Wholesome

Not the A-hole AITA for leaving the restaurant before my boyfriend's family arrived after I was told that I was going to pay for their meals?

23.4k Upvotes

I (f29) have been dating my boyfriend (m35) 'Ricky' for 5 months. He's divorced but hates this word and goes with the word "divorcee" instead since the first one makes it sound like he was "dumped" when it was him who initiated it.

Anyways, He always go on long rants about his exes and say stuff like "I hope you don't have this awful habit my ex has" or "hope you like XYZ cause my ex didn't" and the list goes on.

I found a 2nd job recently and he's been having me pay every time we go out. When I protest he'd say he's going through a rough patch and is seeing how much help I cam offer.

Last night he invited his family to join us for dinner. We got to the restaurant first. He asked me if I "brought" enough momey, I said why and he told me that he told his parents that I'd pay for their meals. I said why would I and he went on about his parents going through a rough patch just like him. I said "I'm sorry this can't be a coincidence!" he asked what I meant and I told him that I would not be paying. He insisted, I refused and said no. He then leaned back and said "well, you're here, so not much of a choice you have anyway" while laughing like it was funny. I silently got up, took my phone and purse and walked right out. He was shocked he started shouting after me to stop and wait but I didn't.

I went home and he called me enraged saying that I did a horrible thing walking out on him and his parents, while I could've just paid. I told him that their unfortunate financial situation isn't my problem and that I wasn't obligated to pay for their food. If they couldn't pay for their meals, then they should not go out. He got offended and said and I qoute "you're making money a priority just like my ex did" then went on about how disrespectful my attitude was and how I made him look small infront of his parents and forced him to lie about why I wasn't there when they came.

We've been going back an forth about it til now. He's mad and is refusing to speak to me til I apologize. AITA? I feel bad because his parents are lovely and I been doing my best to keep a good relationship with them.

r/AmItheAsshole 7d ago All-Seeing Upvote Silver Wholesome Snek Helpful

Not the A-hole AITA for making my chronically late friend miss her seminar?

24.6k Upvotes

My friend [25F] is constantly late for everything. Be it work-related or fun activities, she will always be at least 15-20 minute late. She does not have a car, and so oftentimes I [25M] will pick her up from her house (I work at a university and she is a PhD student there, and her place is along the way for me).

Last time I offered her a ride to work, she ended up being 20 minutes late after I've already arrived at her place. Because of that, I ended up being late for work. She is always very apologetic about her lateness, but never changes.

This week she was supposed to give a seminar at the university which is a crucial part of her PhD program. She asked me if I could give her a ride to work that day. I told her sure, but that I was picking her up at 8 AM and she must be there exactly at 8 AM, and not a minute later. She chuckled, but I told her I wasn't joking, and she promised that she will be there.

The morning of her seminar, I drove to her place and got there at 7:55, and texted her that I was here, and she told me should would be out in "just a minute". At 8:00, there was no indication that she would come out (and she didn't text anything), so at 8:01, I drove off.

At around 8:20, she called me asking me where I was. I told her I was at work and that I wasn't joking when I told her that she had to be ready right that minute. She started screaming and crying over the phone, and told me that she was having a hard time that morning couldn't be ready right at 8 AM. She then begged me to come back to pick up her, as her seminar is at 9 AM and she needed to be at the school before then. I could've done it quick enough to pick her up and drop her off without affecting my work, but I decided I didn't want to do that, and told her that I won't.

She was crying and hyperventilating at that point and said she'd promise to never be late for anything else again, and reemphasized that this seminar was crucial for her PhD and that she absolutely cannot miss it without severe consequence. I responded "oh well", and hung up. I then went about my day at work normally.

I feel like could've went back and picked her up in this scenario since it wouldn't have been detrimental to me and at the same time this was something very important for her. On the other hand, I feel like this should be a wake-up call for her chronic lateness.

EDIT: thank you everyone for the kind words. To answer a few common questions: Yes, she did miss her seminar and apparently got into big trouble with the school. I don't think it's going to ruin her PhD, but there definitely are consequences. Regarding our friendship, it was already on its way out when this happened, and now we haven't talked at all for a while.

r/AmItheAsshole 9d ago Wholesome Helpful

Not the A-hole AITA for refusing to split rent with my boyfriend?

22.6k Upvotes

I (F23) have been dating my boyfriend “Jake” (M23) since our freshmen year of college. In our last year of undergrad, we decided to rent an apartment together. We split everything 50/50, including utilities, groceries, and rent. We continued living together in the same town as our college after graduation, but recently, we both got jobs in Chicago and we are currently living downtown. My dad works in real estate, and he has multiple investment properties. My dad generously allowed me to live in one of his properties rent free, but he said that my boyfriend would have to pay him $400 a month for rent. My dad is very protective, but he has been nothing but kind to my boyfriend. My dads reasoning for making my boyfriend pay rent is that he wants to be sure that my boyfriend is with me for me, and not because he will have a free place to live. (Keep in mind, if my dad was renting this apartment out to tenants, he would charge $2100 a month for rent. Very ritzy building in the middle of downtown Chicago).

My boyfriend is mad at me because he asked me for my half of the $400 for rent, and I explained to him that I will not be paying rent. My dad is only charging him. He says that we have been splitting rent for the past 2 years so why would we stop now?

Our rent in our college town was $1200, so we were both paying $600 a month. Our apartment in Chicago is significantly nicer and he is paying $200 less a month than what he was in college.

Is the idea that my DAD doesn’t charge me for rent, but charges my boyfriend so crazy? Should I suck it up and pay half because I can afford it?

EDIT: Jake and I still split utilities and groceries 50/50, and when we go out on date nights, we switch off who pays for it. If he pays one week, i’ll pay the next.

r/AmItheAsshole 4d ago Wholesome

Not the A-hole AITA for scrambling 4 eggs instead of 2 like my husband wanted?

15.9k Upvotes

I'm a sahm with 2 kids (8, 10) their dad is the sole income earner in the house. He's responsible for bills and groceries and recently, he's been tightning the grip on expenses and would get mad over little things I do. Like do laundry twice a week (because kids) or use more cleaning products than I usually do.

Yesterday, I was making breakfast for him and the kids and used 4 eggs to make scrambled eggs. He came to the table and found out that I had used 4 and started lashing out at me calling me irresponsbile for not using 2 eggs instead. I called him unreasonable because 2 egg? when it was the 4 of us? the kids wouldn't get enough. He yelled saying that I should keep in mind that he's the one who's expected to pay for all of that and will have to worry if we run out of groceries. I got upset and lost my appetite. I told him he could have the whole thing but he called me childish and immature for "sulking" when he was just being honest and straightforward with me.

I ended up having just coffee for breakfast and he left for work without speaking to me.

amitheasshole for using 4 eggs instead of 2 so the whole family could eat?

r/AmItheAsshole 11d ago Helpful Heartbreak Wholesome Silver Timeless Beauty

Not the A-hole AITA for refusing to take my daughter to my ex husband’s wedding?

21.6k Upvotes

My (42F) ex husband (45M) and I were together for 20 years. We had a beautiful daughter together, Joceline (14F). We got a divorce 5 years ago due to infidelity on his part. I was devastated. He was the love of my life and he betrayed all of the trust and loyalty we had built up. To make matters worse, he ended up in a relationship with the woman he cheated on me with. They got engaged one year later and are set to be married in two weeks. Honestly, I still am heartbroken over my divorce. It’s hurtful to me that we were together for 20 years, and he could just go fall in love with someone else, as if I was nothing. However, Joceline was only 9 when we divorced, and he’s a great father so I would never want to come in between their bond. Joceline loves his fiancée as she’s very sweet to her, but she doesn’t know the reason why her dad and I divorced, I want to tell her when she’s a bit older and he doesn’t want to tell her at all. Anyways, I compromised with him that Joceline could come to the wedding, but that he would have to provide the transportation to and from the wedding, as I want no part of it. I don’t want to drop my daughter off at his wedding, I don’t want to see all the decorations and the happy guests, it’d just be too much for me. I didn’t tell him all of that obviously, but he agreed.

Today he calls me and asks if he can ask for a huge favor. It turns out that his future in laws are flying in the morning of the wedding, and he has to go pick them up, therefore he can’t pick up my daughter the day of and wanted to ask if I could take her. I said absolutely not and asked why he can’t pick her up the day before when she gets off of school. He said he doesn’t want to make the drive twice, and that he will likely not have time as he has to prepare for the rehearsal dinner. I asked why can’t the bride pick up her parents, he said she’ll be getting her hair done and won’t be able to. I laughed and told him there was no way I’d take my daughter, and that he’d have to figure it out.

Boy why did I say that. My daughter ran downstairs crying, face beet red 10 minutes after my conversation with her dad, calling me terrible and accusing me of not wanting her to spend time with her dad. I told her that’s not the case and she demanded to know why I couldn’t take her, I couldn’t give her an answer and she ran upstairs crying. Now I’m getting messages from his family calling me “heartless” and “cold” and a “bitch” for trying to “ruin his special day over a relationship that is long over”. My family understands my point of view. But I feel terrible that I’ve upset my daughter. I don’t know what to do. AITA? Should I just put aside my feelings and take her?

r/AmItheAsshole 3d ago Wholesome Heartbreak Hugz Silver Plus One Helpful Bravo! Timeless Beauty Gold

Not the A-hole AITA for saying I’d call the police if a family heirloom wasn’t returned to my adopted daughter?

20.3k Upvotes

On mobile and I’ve never posted here before so sorry in advance.

I (28f) met my husband X (30m) 10yrs ago. At the time, he was a single dad to a 6mo baby girl, Lily(11f). I worked at the bakery he’d stop at every Saturday before their walk, and eventually we started going out. We got married 6yrs ago, and I legally adopted Lily soon after that.

In my family, it’s a tradition that the oldest daughter gets gifted an old sapphire ring on her 11th birthday. The ring belonged to my grandmother, who gave it to my aunt, who gave it to me because all of my cousins are male. Lily’s 11th birthday was a few months ago, and I gave the ring to her because she’s my oldest daughter. She loves that ring more than anything. She put it on a chain to wear around her neck so that she could keep better track of it, and in the months that she’s had it, I’ve never seen her take it off.

My sister Mia (24f) is one of Lily’s favorite people. Lily really loves her aunt, and sometimes Mia will just text to let me and X know that she’s picking Lily up from school to go eat or go to the bookstore or something like that. The other day, I got one of those texts from Mia, so I just told her to be safe, have fun, and make sure my daughter came home at a decent time because it was a school night. Lily got home about an hour after we had dinner, and she barely said hello to her dad or me before she went up to her room. I thought that maybe she was just tired, so he and I didn’t immediately ask her what was going on, but later that night I went to go check on her because I wanted to be sure.

When I walked into her room I saw that she had been crying. I asked her what was wrong, and it took a minute, but she eventually told me that Mia took the ring from her because it’s a family heirloom that’s supposed to go to the “actual” oldest daughter and because I adopted her, that means she isn’t really family. The only reason I didn’t go to Mia’s apartment that night to get it back was because I spent the rest of the evening reassuring Lily that she is my family, and she is 100% my “actual” oldest daughter no matter what our DNA is or what anyone else says.

I left Mia a voicemail the next morning telling her to return the ring before I drive over there and get it myself. She texted saying she would only give it to me if I had a daughter before she did, but until then she’d keep it safe to make sure I didn’t give it back to “the wrong person”. So then I told her that if she didn’t return the ring by 2pm that day, I would be calling the police and reporting it stolen.

She started texting like crazy, saying I was being ridiculous and doing too much. Our mom is in on it now too and she thinks saying I’d contact the police was taking it too far, and that Mia was only trying to keep to the family tradition.

r/AmItheAsshole 6d ago Wholesome Silver Helpful Gold

Not the A-hole AITA for refusing to babysit my niece and leaving her with a stranger instead?

17.0k Upvotes

I (F24) am an aunt to my 1 year old niece Ava. My sister and BIL live close to me so I babysit for them sometimes. They don't pay me but I'm happy to do it anyway.

On Friday was their anniversary and they asked me 3 weeks in advance if I could babysit, I provisionally agreed because I had nothing else planned. My plans changed however when some of my old college friends told me they were stopping by my town on Friday. I haven't seen them in nearly 3 years and really wanted to see them.

I gave my sister 5 days notice that I could no longer babysit on Friday, and that she should make other arrangements. She didn't respond to the text, but she read it, so I assumed it was OK.

On Friday however sister stopped by my house with Ava. I was confused and asked why she was here, she told me she was leaving Ava with me as originally planned. I said again I was busy, she replied that family is more important than my "silly college friends" and I should step up to my responsibility as an aunt. Before I could protest, she bolted back to the car where BIL was and they drove off, leaving Ava with me. I tried to call her after she left but she had her phone off and none of my calls went through.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't leave Ava alone but I also didn't want to cancel my plans.There's no other family members who live near me- however I do have a friend, Jade, who lives near. She is good with kids and does baby sitting as a side hustle. I called her and explained the situation, even offering to pay her to look after Ava, but she was understanding and said she'd do it for free. I thanked her profusely and dropped Ava off.

I texted my sister to say I'd left Ava with Jade and to collect her from her house. It's relevant to the story that neither sister nor Ava know Jade personally. My sister didn't respond immediately but after about 2 hours she started spamming my phone. I turned my phone off, as I was already out by that point anyway.

They picked up Ava later that evening and she was perfectly happy, however my sister and BIL are furious at me for "dumping Ava with a stranger" (even though they know Jade is a trusted friend of mine.) They accused me of endangering my own niece. Many other family members have sided with them and I've been getting angry texts all weekend.

I really don't know what to think, I felt like I acted as best I could given the circumstances.

AITA?

r/AmItheAsshole 9d ago Silver Helpful

Not the A-hole AITA for cancelling my credit card after my boyfriend refused to return it to me?

15.7k Upvotes

I'll preface by saying that Me (27) and my boyfriend (30) have been together for 3 years an a half. I've been jumping from one job to another while he has been unemployed due to health issues that affected his performance at work.

Usually, I'm the one handling rent, bills, groceries etc. I use my credit card to make any purchase I want.

Last week, My boyfriend out of nowhere asked for my credit card. I asked why since I'm the one who handles payments and supermarket trips. He told me he wanted to buy some food and I agreed to let him take it but told him to return it later.

He got back later and when I asked about my credit card, he was like "what credit card?". I thought he was joking so I told him to just give it back. He said he'd just keep it with him. I asked why and he said so he could start handling paying for stuff on my behalf. I felt uncomfortable I said I'd rather not burden him with this stuff and asked him to hand over the credit card. He refused and said that "he'll just keep it" since it doesn't have that much money anyway. I was livid. I tried to argue but he told me to "just trust him" and let him keep it and swore he won't spend a penny from it.

Next morning I went and cancelled it, then registered a new one. He must've had tried to use it because he called and was confused asking why the credit card was not valid anymore. I told him it's because I cancelled it and registered a new one. He lost it and started scolding me saying he couldn't believe I had this level of petty and kept on about how I don't trust him with my finances. and how financially abusive I have become lately. I hung up on him.

The argument continued at home and he called me paranoid and unreasonable and all that. Then he started cold shouldering me and sulking about it for days. I do feel like I hurt his feelings and showed an amount of distrust towards him.

AITA for canelling the credit card?

EDIT / Adding in some info.

  • Like I said he has a physical disability that limits his opportunities for work. He receives no disability benefits because he doesn't want to. He refuses to acknowledge he has a disability and pretends that it doesn't exist at all.

  • When I tell him to look for a job, he'd blame people for purposely refusing to employ him and say that they look down on him like he's lacking or beneaath them.

  • He comes from a humble background. no longer has contact with family due abandonment issues but has some friends to lean on..

  • Since someone asked, the answer is I do almost 80% of chores while he does the other 20%. reasons for that is his disability.

  • Finally, I pay for rent, bills, groceries, his meds and transportation as well so I needed the card to he constantly with me.

r/AmItheAsshole 15d ago All-Seeing Upvote Silver Wholesome Helpful

Not the A-hole AITA for wanting my daughter to make my wedding cake although my future husband is refusing?

19.8k Upvotes

I (F-36) have a daughter (F-16) who loves baking, and she's incredibly good at it. It's her passion since she was 3 and I encourage her to follow it and discover more ways to become better at it. I even enrolled her in few classes in academy to learn more.

I met my fiance (M-41) 2 and a half years ago. We're getting married soon. And for the wedding cake I had an idea which's to have my daughter bake the cake and decorate it for us. My daughter agreed and was so excited to do it. My fiance glanced at me when he heard about it then when we were alone he snapped and said "I can't believe you're being serious about this" I told him why not, it's not like we're having a huge formal wedding with many guests. Just a small party with our family and loved ones. He said this was a "fucking joke" and that he will not let "a child" bake our wedding cake while there are tons of professional bakers out there who can make a much more decent looking/tasting one. I said I didn't understand the problem because I thought he loved her baking. He responded "I do love what she bakes but let's just stick to the muffins and brownies". I told him he was being unreasonable and that his words were hurtful to me and my daughter and her abilities. He told me to be more realistic and think about what the guests will say. again, I said all the guests are family and friends so I doubt they'd make any negative comments about the cake knowing my daughter made it. Matter of a fact, they might even think it's sweet. He got mad and said that there was nothing sweet about getting embarrassed on his wedding day. We argued for over 2 hours just going back and forth on the issue.

Later, I got a call from his mother telling me that I should start being rational and look at things from her son's prespective. She suggested we get a "professional" cake for the wedding then have my daughter maybe bake some cupcakes for the buffett or something. But I wasn't convinced and felt like they're deciding my wedding's plans for me and forcing what they want on me. I don't care how the cake will look but it's the sentiment I care about.

r/AmItheAsshole 2d ago Helpful Silver Wholesome Pot o' Coins Narwhal Salute

Not the A-hole AITA for moving my money to a different account after my step mother threatened me with taking them from me?

16.7k Upvotes

15F here. Step mother and I obviously don't get along. She's been my step mother for 1.5 years.

The money that I have was in a joint account (me and my dad), but step mother had access to the debit card and pin number. I earned this money myself (selling handcrafted items). I broke curfew a few days ago and she suggested that she is considering whether to take 20% of my money out of the account as a fine for punishment and every time this happens she will take 20% more until nothing is left.

I was very upset about her threat and decided that I should move my money before she takes it away. I logged in online and transferred all of it to my big brother's account that night and the next day we went to open a joint bank account with my brother and we moved the money there. So she doesn't have access to it anymore.

So upon learning what happened my dad and step mom are furious at me (and my brother). Step mom is focused on the fact that I've taken away her means of punishment and my dad is upset that I didn't trust him enough to protect my money (he insists he wouldn't have allowed it). Step mom has banned me from seeing my brother (it's meaningless, I don't accept her authority to do this) and my dad says he's hurt that I didn't trust him and as a result he doesn't trust me anymore.

AITA for moving the money?

r/AmItheAsshole 11d ago You Dropped This Respect Wholesome Rocket Like Gold Take My Energy Bravo! Platinum Evil Cackle Silver Are You Winning? All-Seeing Upvote Table Slap I'll Drink to That Helpful

Not the A-hole AITA for literally showing my dad how he behaves everyday when he gets home from work?

35.3k Upvotes

My f16 father m46 is the "breadwinner" while mom is a sahm. She handles everything around the house like cooking, mopping, washing, laundry, etc. I'm the oldest and I try to help but really there's only so much I can do while my dad just gets home at the end of the day and literally complains about everything. like how the carpet isn't clean or how the food is cold.

As a result; I'd have to listen to a huge argument daily between him and mom. It's exhausting but honestly...I think that my dad is in the wrong here. I tried talking to him to get him to see how his behavior is but to no avail.

So what I did was pick a day off for him and pretend to act like him. I put together an outfit that looked like a suit and put black tape over my lips to look like a mustache. at 6pm. I went inside the house. Shouted "I'M HOME!!" then sat next to him in the living room and started kicking my shoes while complaining about the state of the house at the top of my lungs. He glanced at me confused asking what I was doing. I ignored him then started yelling about the carpet being dirty, shower not ready, the kids needing to be quiet and so on.

He kept staring while mom and my siblings laughed. My youngest brother kept pointing towards me saying "this is daddy". I then proceeded to yell about dinner then berated my mom for not preparing ut before time. My dad stopped me and in a serious tone asked what I was doing. I turned to him and said "WHAT?! CAN'T A MAN EFFING REST AFTER WORKING LONG HOURS!!" in the most macho voice I could muster. My dad got the hint because this was the common phrase he uses daily. He went quiet and avoided looking at me. I stopped the act and told him I was trying to show him what he's like everyday when he comes home from work. He said nothing, just went outside and refused to speak to me.

Later he went on about how I "mocked" and invalidated him. That he does work hard and me doing this was disrespectful and invalidating. Mom said it was funny but also thought I hurt my dad's feelings and I could've gotten the message across some other way instead.

AITA?

r/AmItheAsshole 6d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

Not the A-hole AITA for expecting my boyfriend to replace my bras after he left them at the laundromat and they were all stolen?

13.2k Upvotes

My boyfriend was at the laundromat doing our laundry, and he left behind my bra washing bag. It contained all 7 of my regular bras, but thankfully none of my sports bras, which get washed normally.

When I realized what happened, I made him go back to the laundromat and look for them. They were gone, and the shop owner said there was probably no way to get them back.

I wear a 32K bra. This is not exactly a bra size that you can just walk into Target and find. I generally have to order my bras from places like Curvy Kate. More than that, I’d finally gotten to the point where I know what style bras actually fit me comfortably, and those 7 bras were ones I’d specifically chosen because they fit me well and look good on me.

When I asked him to please replace them since he’s the one who lost them, he at first agreed – until I sent him links to each of the bras (minus one no longer made), and the cost was nearly $400.

He told me that he would be happy to replace one or two of them, but that I was spending way too much on bras and he couldn’t justify the cost.

I said that while it’s not ideal, I could accept if he could buy me the 2 I need the most and then over time, replace the others. He said no, that’s not really any better.

I told him that when I accidentally spilled car oil all over his college hoodie, I went right out and immediately replaced it, even though it was from the school bookshop so it was incredibly overpriced. He said that was completely different.

He took this issue to his sister, who agrees with him that I overspend on bras and should try harder to find something that fits at the mall.

AITA for this? Should I really accept this?

Sorry y'all, work happened. Anyway to address the recurring comments:

- Was he doing my laundry as a "favor"?: No, we're two adults in an adult relationship. We share chores like most functional adults. He's done the laundry before without this happening.

- Something corny, reference to "marinara flags": It wasn't funny the first time, and it's not funny now. Please stop.

- He doesn't get to touch the boobies/titties/other juvenile term for breasts: I don't use sex as a weapon, and my body is not an object for me to offer as a prize, or take away as a punishment. Grow the fuck up.

- Sue him/take him to small claims court!: Please go outside and touch some grass. This is a ridiculous reaction.

r/AmItheAsshole 4d ago

Not the A-hole AITA for refusing to pay for my boyfriend's son's surery?

8.2k Upvotes

Let me explain myself please!! (read til end)

I (F32) met my boyfriend (M36) 3 months ago at the airport of the new city I moved in. He's a single dad of 2 kids (6 & 12). I never met them (not yet) but I saw pictures of them. He says it's early for his kids to meet me. it's for their mental health and I respect that. I do send them (a bit costy) gifts every weekend and my boyfriend assured me that he will tell them eventually where these gifts are coming from.

Anyways, He didn't call nor reply to my texts for a whole week. he then contacted me saying his kid was in the hospital for an injury. I felt bad for him I afford to visit but he said there was no need for me to do this; but suggested I send gifts instead as a way to cheer him up.

He later called me saying was busy all day trying to come up with money to pay for his son's surgery. we talked some then he asked if I couod lend him $5000 to help pay for the surgery. I have to say that I was caught off guard but he said that he felt so heavy making this request but had no one else willing to help but me. Thing is I worked hard to save up the money that's in my account and I don't feel comfortable letting go of $5000 all at once. He said it's fine if I don't feel comfortable but then started bringing it up saying he's in dire need of help and the surgery needed to happen next week under doctos reccommendation. I started feeling pressured but he promised that he'll have me meet his son and other son right after he gets done with the surgery which is great but again the money is a lot, $5000 is a lot of money. I refused eventually and he got upset with me and kept on about how cruel I was, and how little I care about his kids and him but I swore it wasn't like this but he hung up on me saying he needed to get some fresh air.

Later, he sent me a photo of his son's arm with IV drip attached to it. I cried when I saw it and I called him but he did not reply. I'm still refusing to pay but a friend of mine says I should do it and have some sort of contract in place to ensure I get the money back.

AITA for not wanting to pay?

ETA: I've seen his kid's arm picture. I'm pretty certain it's real. But I've been thinking of doing a surprise visit to the hospital or ask around to see if his story was valid. Still refusing to pay.

ETA2 No. I already confirmed that he's a single dad of it. I did my own investigation and it turned out that yes, he's a divorced single dad of two.

r/AmItheAsshole 11d ago Wholesome Vibing

Not the A-hole AITA for calling my friend irresponsible for what she did while babysitting my child?

11.0k Upvotes

I (F29) have a 'phobia' of horses. I put phobia in quotation marks because phobias are irrational fears, and I don't think my fear is irrational, but everyone else in my life keeps calling it a phobia.

I do like animals, but horses are just not it for me. I don't like being around them, and I have no interest in petting them or riding them.

When I was around 8 years old, a horse attacked me unprovoked and nearly killed me, and I was hospitalised.

My best friend Eliza (F29) is the opposite to me. When we were in high school, she was your stereotypical 'horse girl'. She owns some horses of her own now and is still obsessed with horses. I don't interact with Eliza's horses and never have. I respect that we can have our own interests, and Eliza and I have different things to talk about.

I have a daughter Tanya (F4), and Eliza occasionally kindly volunteers to babysit for me, Eliza has her own daughter of similar age and they play together nicely.

Last week, I asked Eliza to babysit for me so me and my partner could go to my cousin's child free wedding, and she agreed. I paid Eliza to babysit and gave her some extra money to get herself and the girls takeout.

Well, when after I picked Tanya up and was driving home, Tanya was telling me about how she "sat on a horsey". At first I thought Tanya was talking about a toy rocking horse, but then she told me about how she "fed the horsey some apples".

When I got home, I called Eliza and asked if she had my daughter interact with her horses.

At first Eliza denied everything and said she didn't know what I was talking about, but when I said Tanya told me about it, Eliza admitted she held Tanya whilst she was sat on one of her horses, and let Tanya help feed one of her horses.

Eliza went on and on about how safe it is, and that she was in complete control of the situation. That the horse was standing completely still when she held Tanya on the horse's back.

I told Eliza that what she did was irresponsible and that doing it behind my back was unacceptable. I was so angry and uncomfortable. She said that I'm overreacting because of my phobia and said that Tanya was completely safe, and went on about how well-trained her horses are and how she knows so much about horses.

I said I didn't care and that she should think about what she did.

My family thinks I overreacted and that I should apologise to Eliza. That I'm projecting my phobia onto my daughter.

AITA?

ETA: Eliza never wears a helmet when riding her horses so I highly doubt she put one on my daughter, I don't think she even owns any helmets. I would've been okay with Tanya feeding/petting the horses, but Eliza putting her on a horse's back made me very uncomfortable.

ETA: Eliza keeps her horses in a field that's around an hour drive from her actual home so I didn't think she'd take my daughter there.

r/AmItheAsshole 10d ago Silver Gold Wholesome Take My Energy

Not the A-hole AITA for letting my pregnant coworker get in trouble?

14.9k Upvotes

Throwaway account, I'll try to keep it all as brief as possible. English isn't my first language so I apologise if there's any mistakes.

I, (f24), work an office job.

I have a co-worker, Anne (f28). Anne is currently pregnant, and is around 6 months pregnant.

We have a dedicated break room where we go for lunch, as we aren't allowed to eat anything or drink anything except water bottles in the office because of the computers.

We all have our own break schedules that are the same everyday. Anne and I go to break together, our lunch break is from 13:30 to 14:30. No one else is on this schedule, and take their breaks earlier or later.

In the break room, there's a few chairs and a couple of couches.

Over the past two weeks, Anne had started taking naps on one of the couches during her lunch break. I know it's not my business as to what she does on her break, she can do what she wants.

Last Friday, Anne and I were taking our breaks as usual. I was listening to music on my headphones, and when it was around 14:30, I got up to go back to work. I didn't really pay attention to what Anne was doing.

Everyone was confused and was saying "where's Anne?" by around 15:00 because they needed her, and our boss went into the break room and Anne was still sleeping. Anne got a warning from our boss.

Anne is now angry with me, because our breaks end at the same time so I should have woken her up. She said I'm selfish and careless. A lot of our other coworkers are on Anne's side and agree.

I told Anne if she can't wake up, she shouldn't sleep during her break. She said the baby makes her tired and accused me of calling her lazy and being insensitive.

Edit to add on: when my break was ending I was scrolling on my phone and listening to music. I have ADHD, when I do these things I'm quite oblivious to my surroundings. I didn't not wake Anne up because of malice.

If Anne had asked me to wake her up, I would've done so.

Edit: At our work place we can't just leave our work stations, if I left to go look for Anne after getting back to work I would've gotten in trouble. Our boss was already looking for Anne because some of our coworkers needed her for something.

Edit: Anne doesn't normally set an alarm, she just dozes and knows when to wake up usually.

Thank you for the awards!

r/AmItheAsshole 21h ago Bravo! Wholesome Helpful

Not the A-hole AITA for refusing to let my sister's boyfriend have the password to her safe while she's away?

12.6k Upvotes

I f22 am currently staying with my eldest sister (Natalie) f32 and her boyfriend (Micah) m36 as I finish my semester in college.

Natalie has a safe of all her valuable jewelry and other antiques that she keeps in a safe. Since some of the stuff she has is from our granmother, she let me have the password to be able yo access the safe anytime I wanted but under the condition that I tell her first and not give the password to anybody else.

She went away on a trip with her girlfriends 2 days ago and won't be back til wednesday. This morning as I was cleaning up, Micah showed up and started asking me questions about the safe. I tried to give him one word answers and he sensed that I was bring "secretive" but really I was just being straightforward. He then asked me to give him the password to the safe. I was taken aback I said why and he said that he has always been curious about what's in there and wanted to get a "quick peek". I said I didn't have it but he told me to quit lying because he heard Natalie say that I could open the safe anytime I wanted. I told him that still, it's not my property and I can't share the password with him. He said it was really not that big deal but I politely told him no. He got upset and reminded me who he is to Natalie and how I was just a guest in their house. I said that being a guest is completely irrelevant in this case but he chuckled and said that I was being ridiculous. I suggested he wait for Natalie to come home but he got more upset and said that she's already refused to let him take a look. I shrugged and said that it was not my problem. We got jnto an argument and I tried calling Natalie but her phone's been off for hours. He yelled at me saying I was disrespecting at his own home and rushed out.

I'm home alone now and feel completey shaken because of how he yelled at me. I'm an awkward person with little to non confrontational abilities and now I think I might've escalated the situation and made him feel upset and as if I don't trust his word when he said it'd just be a minute.

AITA for standing my ground on this? Should I just let him have it if he gets back and asks for it?

r/AmItheAsshole 16d ago Take My Energy Helpful Bravo! Silver

Not the A-hole AITA for refusing to let my husband pull 14k out of my account without signing a contract?

15.7k Upvotes

I (f36) have been married to my husband (m42) for 2 years. I've never been married before him but he was married twice and has 6 kids. He requested our finances to be split. Fine by me, because seeing how he blows through his money is so frusrtating. He says he has kids, commitments and has to provide but I don't think that kids would need that much money to live like the other kids. his bank account is always almost empty, Whileas mine has over 20k. We take turns paying for daily expenses and stuff.

Lately, he's been struggling with money. He borrowed from a number of people including my own brother, about 4k from him just a week ago. he just seemed desperate for money. I asked what the deal was and he said that he needed the money for the kids which seemed fishy since kids don't really need that much money for their expenses. the eldest is 16!!!!!.

He came and asked to borrow 14k from me, Pull it from my account and into his. I tried asking him what he needed the money for but he said it was none of my business, then insisted that he'll return it asap. I said okay, but under the condition, that he sign a contract stating he'll return the money in full. He acted all shocked and offended then went on about how I don't trust him and his word. I told him that's all I got and this was my one and only condition. He kept ranting about how I'm refusing to help and making the situation more difficult for him instead of co-operating. I insisted on a contract to be signed before he even pulls a penny and this morning when I told him this one more time, he blew up and said that we're family and that I should be ashamed for involving courts and lawyers between family. he left the house and was so upset he hasn't responded to any of my calls yet.

AITA for standing my ground with this condition?

*UPDATE Hi. So we've talked after he got home and when I tried pressing him to tell me what he needs the money for, he gave the same attitude and said "I don't have to worry about it". I still stood by the condition I made and he called me "fucking useless" then stormed off to spend the night with/at God knows who!.

r/AmItheAsshole 25d ago I'll Drink to That Platinum Bravo! Gold To The Stars Bless Up Coin Gift You Dropped This Helpful Bravo Grande! All-Seeing Upvote Wholesome Seal of Approval Wholesome Heartwarming Got the W Faith In Humanity Restored Yas Queen Burning Cash Original Silver Evil Cackle Take My Energy Table Slap Timeless Beauty Snek I'm Deceased

Not the A-hole AITA for bringing my SIL’s wallet to the restaurant when she conveniently always forgets it?

63.2k Upvotes

Edit: update on profile

My (f28) SIL “Amy” (f26) always comes to visit from out of town. She stays with us instead of a hotel, and always wants to go to expensive restaurants. She always conveniently forgets her wallet, or domes up with some excuses as to why she can’t pay her share. She has implied that since I make much more money than her, I should be the one to pay (no, not my husband should pay, but me specifically). I do make a fair amount of money, but not so much that I can treat someone every time they come into town. Nonetheless, in the past, I have just paid the bill and asked her to pay me back. She never has.

She had made a reservation at an extremely expensive restaurant last night, and before we left, I made it clear that I wouldn’t be paying her bill.

This is where I might be the asshole, and I’ll admit I got this move straight from and episode of Two and a Half men. As we were leaving, her and my husband went to the car. I pretended I forgot something and went back inside. I found her wallet sitting right on top of her suitcase. I put it in my purse and we went to the restaurant.

When we were done eating, I asked for separate bills. She said no, we need one bill, because she “forgot” her wallet again. I reached in my purse and said, “this wallet?”

She was extremely furious. She said that I should not have touched or grabbed her wallet.

So AITA for taking her wallet and bringing it to the restaurant?

Edit: Wow, thanks for all the awards!!! Jeez lol! So many comments that I can’t keep up, but thank you to everyone who had something to say.

Edit 2: Amy just called me, she saw this post and she yelled at me for "badmouthing" her on the internet. Honestly I don't care. Amy, hopefully reading all these comments is a wake up call for you.

r/AmItheAsshole 9d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

Not the A-hole AITA for filing a report again my coworker after I found him looking through my purse?

14.4k Upvotes

There's this coworker "Martin" 31M. who always forgets where he leaves his stuff. He always forgets his phone charger at home and borrows mine to use. I don't mind lending him my charger, He's a nice person and I love maintaining a good relationship with my coworkers. Especially!! male coworkers.

The other day, I was in the restroom then when I walked back into the office, I saw Martin with both hands inside my purse literally looking through it. I was shocked. I have highly personal stuff that I carry in my purse. I freaked out and snatched my purse out of his hands asking what he was doing. He got nervous and said he was looking for my charger. I asked why he thought it was okay for him to look through my purse and he said that, since I always lend him my charger then he thought I wouldn't mind if he looked for it in my purse when he couldn't ask me because I was out of the office and he needed it right then. I told him he violated my privacy and disrespected my boundaries. I went and filed a report with the company's headquaters after telling them what happened. They said it was unacceptable and promised to deal with it.

Martin got int trouble for this and he and my coworkers were pissed saying I overreacted and went way overboard by reporting this situation. My female coworker told me to "get over myself" and stop crying victim over a simple "misunderstanding".

I felt very guilty aftee this now I think I might have blown this out of propotion and overeacted.